Birthed By Fire
by ShadowFlame68
Summary: Sometimes the person Fate chooses as the hero is the least heroic; Kira Shepard embodies this "ideal". Consistently burned and stronger because of it, she isn't the type of person anyone wants to put trust into, but she's the only one who can get it done. With a threat to all sentient life on the horizon and Light failing, the galaxy turns to its final defense - Darkness. Femslash.
1. Chapter 1: Sixteen

_April 11, 2170_

_Mindoir_

There was smoke; it burned her lungs.

There was fire; it seared her skin.

There was ash; it stung her eyes.

Fear filled the young girl as she supported herself on her hands and knees, coughing. Blood from her forehead mixed in with her crimson hair and further obscured her vision as it dripped down her skin. The fear remained as more screams filled the air, but anger was quickly overtaking it. She reached a hand up and gripped a piece of rubble, forcing herself up. Her amber eyes spotted the marines a good distance away; they weren't coming. They were pinned down, unable to move closer.

Unable or afraid. She was only sixteen, but her eyes narrowed towards the marines. They were here, they could help, but their own lives seemed more important. She looked down at a hand sticking out from the rubble, dirt-covered and bloodied; her mother's. A tuft of brown hair was visible in another pile; her father's. The only reasons she was alive, they'd covered her with their bodies when the house collapsed under the batarians' barrage. The girl dropped to her knees, cutting her fingers to shreds as she ripped pieces of rubble away. One of her fingernails was torn off, another split, but she didn't care, not enough to stop. She ripped the last piece from atop her father's head… or what was left of her father's head.

She then stumbled back, spinning around and falling to her hands and knees, vomiting. Tears joined with ash and dirt to burn her eyes, but that just fueled the rage. She forced herself up on shaky legs, taking a moment to gain her balance before making it over to her mother and repeating her actions. Lift rubble, toss aside, scrape glass away, ignore blood; she was almost running on autopilot. A sob escaped her as she yanked a piece of rebar out of the way; her mother's eyes were open, looking at her. For one brief moment she thought she was alive, until she saw that the piece of rebar she'd removed was one of several others that impaled the woman's body. The girl reached a trembling hand out to touch her mother's neck, but it was obvious; she was dead.

The girl raised her head as a scream escaped her throat, a sound of mixed agony and rage. It drew attention, attracted slavers, but she didn't care; something opened inside her mind, a wall she hadn't even known was there. Her body felt alive, different somehow, and a new sensation awakened that she'd never known before. A batarian appeared in an opening, pointing his rifle in. "One survived in here, looks alright; I'll grab her."

The girl turned hate-filled amber eyes on the batarian, baring her teeth at him. He'd seen it all before and wasn't intimidated in the least, but she wasn't thinking about that; she wasn't really thinking at all. She didn't know why she did it, but as she stood she shoved a hand forward and the air bent around it. All four of the batarian's eyes widened as a blue energy flared to life in the girl's eyes and over her body. The biotic power hurled him two dozen meters to slam into a pile of rubble, shattering bones and splitting skin. The girl climbed out of the rubble and stood on the street with her arms at her sides, her body wreathed in blue energy that shifted and warped the air.

Batarians turned and fired on her but the energy wrapped around her, creating a barrier that kept the shots from connecting. Her crimson hair flowed around her eyes as she focused on another batarian, extending her hand with her palm up. He flailed and cursed as he was lifted into the air while the girl remained cold, raising her other hand. She turned her hands over, appearing as if she was holding a bar in them, and then twisted them, snapping the batarian's spine in the air. As his body hit the ground the others fired and broke through her barrier. Metal slugs tore through her arms and thigh, sending her to her knees, but she roared in defiance and threw both hands forward, releasing a shockwave that tore through the group in front of her and scattered them.

A grenade landed at her side and she only had time to look at it before it exploded. Her biotic power wrapped around her again, shielding her from the blast, but she was thrown back and hit the side of a building, falling into blackness.

Mass Effect

_Several Hours Later_

She awoke at a time she didn't know, in a place she didn't recognize, under the gaze of a person she'd never met. She was a little surprised to wake up at all, but she had expected to be in a batarian slaver's hold if she did. She was in some sort of medical bed, though; the taste of the air and feel of gravity led her to believe she was on a ship. The man near her wore a military uniform, obviously an officer. "I'm glad to see you're awake," he said in a voice that was entirely too composed in her opinion.

She tried to sit up but pain shot through her back; she did it anyway, leaning against the wall as she looked at him. "Where…?"

"You're aboard the SSV Budapest, an Alliance cruiser. You're safe now. What's your name, miss?"

The girl looked at her hands, which rested uselessly in her lap. "Kira Shepard."

"Well, Shepard, you're with the military now. Everything will be fine."

And that was how it went. The enlisted men didn't know how to feel, and the officers didn't care; "dangers of living in the Traverse," they told her, as if that made any difference. "Safe with the military," they said, as if she hadn't seen them sitting impotently unable to help. Apparently her attack had allowed them to move up, and they made it into town in time to save her… but no one else. The batarians got away and no one was left but the dead. They asked about extended family they could send her to, but there were none. "Everything will be fine," she heard over and over again. Nothing but words.

A month later Shepard found herself standing outside a building that looked more intimidating than they probably meant for it to; a military biotic training and research facility on some planet she'd never heard of. Her bag hung at her side, but there was really nothing in it aside from a few clothes the military had been able to get her. She didn't own anything else. The man at her side reassured her again ("everything will be fine"), leading her into the building. Inside all the walls, floors and ceilings were cold metal with little color. Kira walked behind the man quietly; she didn't remember his name and it wouldn't matter for much longer anyway. They entered an office and a secretary pointed them through another door.

Inside a woman stood up from her desk, smiling; she wore nice white clothes and glasses, and had long blonde hair, a rare trait since it was a recessive gene. "You must be Kira Shepard. Welcome to E-3," she said, looking directly at her and more or less ignoring the officer.

Shepard appreciated being treated like an adult after the way the soldiers acted around her, so she actually offered a smile, slight and weak though it was. "Thanks."

The woman looked at the officer. "We're done. Thank you for bringing her." He looked extremely irritated at the dismissal but he seemed to decide it wasn't worth an argument, as he left without another word. The woman turned back to Kira and her smile returned. "I'm Dr. Novanis. Students call me Dr. Nova because it's an obvious nickname and they're unimaginative," she explained as she moved past the girl and gestured for her to follow as she left the office.

Kira walked after her with a smirk, slinging the bag over her shoulder. "Alright. Why is this place called E-3?"

"Because the military is even more unimaginative," Nova said with a sidelong glance. "When they wanted to expand their number of research facilities to study and control the effects of Element Zero on humans, they created three primary facilities. Eezo-1 focuses on understanding the element itself, Eezo-2 studies its negative effects on some exposed humans such as deformations and tumors, and Eezo-3 studies and trains those given biotic abilities by exposure to the element."

Shepard nodded, looking through a window as they passed a lab filled with computers, failing to read anything on the screens. "I always heard biotics were exposed to eezo in the womb and developed biotic ability during puberty."

"Yes, since we have no records of you, I assume your situation is different. You're sixteen? And when did your ability first manifest?"

Kira's expression darkened. "A month ago, on my birthday."

"Oh… Right. That was the first time…?" Dr. Nova stopped to look at her. "I've read the report of what you did. Power like that without an implant is unusual to say the least."

Kira shrugged, looking away. "Wouldn't know."

"Biotics respond to emotions… The impact of those events could have boosted your power quite a bit." When Shepard simply remained silent Nova sighed, resuming walking. "Well, we're going to fit you with an implant and help you get control of those abilities."

Mass Effect

_Four Months Later_

The surgery was a little frightening but Kira made no complaints, knowing it would make her stronger. After that she was "integrated" more fully into the program, but she never really felt like it. She didn't get along with any of the others. She sat alone at all times, spoke little to others, and went to sleep in her bunk without a word. She didn't really want anything to do with the other students, but some of them resented that.

Several months after she arrived (four months, thirteen days; for some reason she couldn't stop keeping count), she found herself blocked from continuing down a hallway by three students. She'd noticed other students deferring to these three and figured she'd have to deal with them at some point. Her amber gaze ignored the male and female on the sides, they were more or less followers. The blond-haired, blue-eyed guy in the center was obviously the leader. He folded his arms and gave her a cocky grin. "I hear you've got some talent, Shepard."

Shepard's eyes focused on him through her crimson bangs, analyzing him. _Alpha male. False bravado covering self-doubt. Arrogant but not confident. Slightly above average intelligence. Worried for his position because I'm an unknown element. He's here to establish dominance or at least judge me._ Kira, as usual, allowed no emotion to show on her face. He seemed to grow uncomfortable under her gaze, irritable even.

"What, you've got nothing to say?" His eyes narrowed a bit; anger. "What're you staring at, freak?"

_Insults; he's already lost and is fumbling for control._ "A straw man," Shepard answered, her eyes never leaving his.

"A what?"

"A construction with the illusion of strength but actual weakness. It relies on others believing your image, which doesn't always work."

"Are you…" He blinked. "Are you calling me _weak_?"

Shepard had _no_ intention of being the favored target of bullies during her time at E-3. She was here to gain actual power, not to mess around with adolescent power fantasies. "You already know you're weak," she answered simply. "That's why you're going to attack me."

He clenched his teeth and fists at the same time, summoning visible dark energy. The two at his sides were angry as well, or at least the boy was; the girl, a pretty sixteen-year-old with brown hair and green eyes, was moving to the side, apparently deciding to see where this went. Kira could respect that. So far in this place the only person she respected was Dr. Nova; no one else had earned it yet, and this bully in front of her definitely wasn't on his way to doing so.

Kira Shepard didn't start fights. If she could get through a situation without fighting she'd take it; there was no point in risking injury unnecessarily. Dealing with bullies, though, had to be done a certain way, and she would have to show this boy that she wasn't a target worth choosing so he'd leave her alone until she was done here. A good way of doing that would be to make the first move, she believed. This boy had several disadvantages: he had come here of his own will; she was here because she had nowhere else to go. He was training because he'd been told he was special; she wanted to make sure she was the best from now on. He had never killed before; she had several kills. And her anger was far, far worse than his impotent rage could ever achieve.

She dropped her bag and threw out her left hand, shoving his legs out from under him. He landed facedown and she raised her right hand, lifting him up to slam him into the ceiling. His ally sent a push at her but she deflected it with little trouble and threw his leader into him, sending them into a heap. "You bitch!" His curse and the others that followed didn't faze her, but something was off; the two were getting back up. Obviously she hadn't meant to seriously injure them, but suddenly that seemed… _wrong_ somehow. Anger finally showed on her face as they moved towards her. A combined shove threw her into the wall and… that was it.

Hitting the wall again… that wouldn't work. For a moment she saw batarians and she lost it. Dark energy lined her body as she threw out both hands, hurling the blond leader into the opposite wall. His shoulder connected and dislocated, drawing a cry of pain from him as his arm dangled uselessly. Kira vaguely noticed the brunette girl running down the hall as she turned to the other boy, flinging her hand to the side and slamming his head into the wall. He fell and curled up, holding his head, but her attention went back to the leader. He saw something in her eyes that frightened him, he said something to her, but she couldn't understand it; control was gone now.

Using her biotics she yanked him to the ground in front of her. She knelt down and punched him before gripping his hair and slamming his face to the floor. The second time she did it she noticed blood spray from his nose as he yelled something, but he was still moving, still able to act. Not good enough. She did it again, and a fourth time. The girl returned with a guard right at that moment; a Taser hit her in the side, pain shot through her body, and she blacked out.

Mass Effect

_Several Hours Later_

Kira woke up with a headache at an unknown time. She was on a cot in what she recognized as the detention room; the room had steel walls, a small, uncomfortable cot, a sink, a toilet, and a transparent door. She hadn't been here yet, having more or less avoided trouble, but she'd seen it. She turned and sat on the edge of the cot, sighing as her head dropped into her hands. _"The detention room is used for dangerous and unstable students"_, she remembered hearing. She couldn't deny she fit that description. She heard the door slide open and looked up to see Dr. Nova entering the room.

The woman looked understandably disappointed as she moved to stand before Kira. "Two students in med-bay, both with concussions and one with worse injuries. You could have killed him. What was going through your mind?"

Shepard looked away, moving back onto the cot to sit against the wall with her knees pulled up. "Mindoir," she answered honestly. "After that… I don't know."

Dr. Nova sighed, sitting on the edge of the cot. "After what you went through, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is expected. But we can't have you taking it out on other students."

"He's a bully."

"A bully, not a slaver. That level of violence is completely unnecessary," she said with a shake of her head. Shepard knew she was right, but she didn't know what to say. She'd done what she'd done, and she'd probably do the same thing again. This lack of control seemed here to stay. Nova sighed again, looking at her. "Kira, one of our purposes here is to make sure you can fit into society."

Kira glanced at her. "I'm not ever going to fit into society anyway, biotic or not."

"That attitude might get you _killed_ in the real world."

"Anything can get you killed," she replied. "Even just existing."

Dr. Nova looked at her sadly. "Will you please reconsider talking about Mindoir? I think it could help."

Kira remained silent, staring at her hands. There was still a bit of blood on one hand, she noticed. She sighed, looking away from the doctor again. "Maybe."

"Please do. No one should deal with everything alone." Dr. Nova stood. "I can't give you a pass for something like this, but given your situation, you'll only be in here a week. But they won't trust you after that, and you can't blame them." Kira just stayed silent and the doctor shook her head again, leaving and trying to think of a solution to help the girl and prevent this from happening again.

Later that day, to her surprise, Kira got another visitor; the brunette girl who had been with the bully. Kira didn't know her name (she didn't remember anyone's name), but she remembered she hadn't been a part of the fight. Kira sat cross-legged on the cot, studying the girl through the transparent door. The guard apparently decided to let her through as the door slid open after a few seconds and she stepped inside, watching it close behind her. She didn't seem nervous or afraid, which just made Kira more curious.

The girl leaned against the wall, looking at her. "That was… impressive," she started, breaking the silence. "Dane had it coming."

Kira's eyes narrowed in slight confusion and suspicion. "Wasn't he your friend?"

"It would be hard to be friends with a guy like that. No, he's just sort of… He likes me, I guess. I don't feel the same but at least he doesn't bother me if I'm his friend. I don't have the ability to do… what you did."

"So why are you here?"

"Dane's just the stereotypical bully. He's one-dimensional and shallow." She tilted her head. "You're a lot more interesting."

"Your loyalties switch that easily?"

"I'm not stupid enough to have any loyalties."

Kira actually smirked at that. "I'm not looking for a follower."

"How about a friend?" The girl pushed off the wall and moved forward. "Not because I think you need one, of course; no need to go berserk on me," she said with a smile. "Just because I think it'd work."

Kira raised an eyebrow. "You want to be friends despite what you've heard and seen?"

"_Because_ of what I've heard and seen," she corrected. "Like I said, you're interesting. My name is Faith, by the way, but you don't have to have any in me."

"I won't turn you down," Kira said, moving over as she nodded to the empty part of the cot.

Faith smiled, moving over to sit on the cot. "You seem pretty lone wolf-y. You sure?"

"I've been alone because I haven't found anyone worth being with," Kira answered with a shrug. "Being alone is only the best option when the people available would just hinder you."

"You have a very pragmatic world-view," Faith noted with a smile. "Where did you get it?"

Shepard's expression darkened a little. "Mindoir."

"Mind-… Oh." Faith's voice grew quieter. "You were there?"

"I'm _the_ survivor," she replied. "My parents and… people I knew, killed or captured."

"I'm sorry," Faith said sincerely. "I mean… I don't want you to feel like I'm pitying you or something-"

"It's fine," Shepard interrupted. "What other response is there? Even I don't know how to respond…"

Faith looked at her tentatively. "Have you… talked about it?"

"No." She sighed. "I haven't decided _how_ to react to it yet. Do I try to forget it and move on? Do I ingrain it in my mind and let it drive me? Do I focus on it and getting revenge? Do I try to deal with it and accept it? I don't know."

Faith nodded, remaining silent for a few moments. "You know… My father was killed, back on earth. A few members of some gang were causing trouble and he tried to step in and help, and ended up getting shot."

Kira looked at her, studying her. "And how did you decide to deal with that?"

"All of those ways, I guess," Faith said with a shrug. "It was only a few years ago and still feels fresh. I guess forgetting it isn't something I'm going to be doing. But it _does_ drive me, I _would_ like revenge, and… Well, as for accepting it, I accepted that it happens and decided to make sure it won't happen to me."

"That's how I feel. I guess I don't have to pick one. I'm certainly not going to forgive and forget, though."

Faith smiled humorlessly. "I don't know if anyone really does that. If you don't let it affect you then it's like it didn't matter."

"When it does." Kira sighed. "All I know is… I'm done with being weak."

Faith gave a more genuine smile then. "I figured that out in the hallway."

Mass Effect

_One Week Later_

A week after she went in, Kira was let out of detention. She walked through the halls with no expression, ignoring the other students that stared and whispered as she passed. At least they let her out in time for lunch. The cafeteria was a small at E-3, only seating forty or so people at a time even though the place had two hundred combined students and faculty. To make it work, both students and faculty took meals when they had free time. Since she was late the cafeteria was more or less empty, though all four of the tables had a few people sitting at them. She got her food and sat at the end of one table. The students there stared at her for a couple moments and then moved to another table as she began to eat.

_Works for me_, she thought to herself, continuing to ignore them and eating quietly.

"Dr. Achon is an asshole," Faith said as she dropped her tray on the table and sat across from Kira.

Shepard smirked, taking another bite of the food she barely even bothered to identify. "For any specific reason, or…?" Dr. Achon was one of the teachers at E-3 and was more or less insufferable. He was about as arrogant as one could get and thought he was the galaxy's expert on biotics just because he could use it. He _was_ at least somewhat smart – everyone at E-3 was – but not nearly at the level he pretended to be.

"Yes. New reasons. And old reasons. _All_ the reasons," Faith exclaimed as she took a bite of the food before grimacing in distaste. "This food never gets any better. You'd think I'd be used to it by now."

"It works on the same principle as cough medicine," Kira replied. "Is Achon being his normal self, or extra irritating?"

"Not just normal. Not just extra. I'm talking 'break into the main office and modify his files to send him into the middle of geth territory' irritating."

"That's pretty irritating."

Faith leaned forward on her elbows, her green eyes meeting Shepard's amber ones. "Did you know biotics can be aided by stretching properly beforehand?"

Kira raised an eyebrow. "I did not."

"Did you know it also, apparently, helps if a forty-one-year-old man watches his sixteen-year-old student do said stretches?"

"That's a little suspicious."

"And it helps even _more_ if he records it. You know, so he can play it back for you and show you if you're doing it wrong."

"I see." Kira narrowed her eyes. "Did you do something?"

"Do?" Faith sat back and licked off her spoon. "What could I do? I threatened to tell and he said it was legitimate. You know, as he casually erased the recording."

Kira tapped her fingers on the table. "Right."

Something about Shepard's tone made Faith pause and look at her. "Kira… What are you thinking?"

Kira looked to the side. "I'm not thinking anything."

She didn't believe _that_. "They just put you in detention for snapping on students, but if you do it on a researcher…"

"Snapping? Who said I was going to snap?" Kira looked at her, her amber eyes glowing just a bit. "I just don't like it. I just want to talk to him. I'm not as violent as I seem."

Faith gave her a disbelieving look. "Just don't get yourself thrown out. I'm not making myself any more popular by hanging out with you."

Kira smirked. "I told you it was a bad idea."

"I don't really care." Faith cleaned off her spoon again and pointed it at her. "As long as you're _here_, it's worth it. I'm just saying, don't make me do it for nothing."

"You could always get yourself thrown out after me."

"Sure, that's a great start to my future. My career options would be pirate, dancer, or whore."

"You aren't planning to be one of those things already?"

"As much as I would _like_ to be a dancing pirate whore, I was hoping to be something a little more secure."

Kira finished her food, shoving the tray aside. "What _are_ you planning to do after you're done here?"

Faith sighed, setting an elbow on the table and resting her head on her hand. "I'm not really sure. I don't know if military life is my thing. Maybe I'll try to become a biotics teacher or researcher. Or maybe I'll ignore my biotics completely and do something unrelated. Or maybe the military _will_ call to me at some point."

"You've got options."

Faith looked at her. "What about you? Are you going into the military?"

"Yes," Kira answered without hesitation. "As soon as I'm eighteen and done here."

"You seem pretty sure."

"_Someone_ has to do things right."

"Well, if anyone can…" Faith twirled the spoon in her hand, smiling. "I can see you racing around space saving the galaxy."

"You're dreaming pretty big. Sure you don't want to start with something smaller, like a colony or even a planet?"

"Nah." Faith smiled at her. "You don't seem like a 'start small' kind of girl."

Kira sipped her drink. "We'll see."

Mass Effect

_Two Days Later_

"Today was interesting," Faith said as she appeared beside Kira in the hall.

She'd only been around her for about two days, and already Kira was getting used to Faith appearing suddenly out of nowhere. It was like she had some sort of special ability. "It's the same as every day," she said without bothering to stop walking.

"That's not true. It's not every day that Dr. Achon is quiet, nervous and apologetic during our class," Faith responded, studying Kira closely.

"Maybe he had a change of heart," she said, continuing to stare straight ahead and giving nothing away.

"Quite a sudden turnaround." She caught Kira's arm, finally stopping her and causing Kira to meet her gaze. "Thank you," she said honestly. "It's also not every day that someone stands up for me."

"It wasn't really that hard," she replied, giving up on denial but averting her eyes. "I was serious, all I did was talk."

"Then I wish I could've heard what you said to him." Faith smiled, continuing to walk as Kira resumed her movement. "Can I ask why you did that for me?"

"I don't know why. I guess I just have a very low tolerance for problems."

"We're friends, aren't we?"

Kira glanced at her. "…I guess we are."

"Well… Are there any problems _I_ can help _you_ with?"

"…Later. After my last session."

Faith smiled. "Great!"

They parted ways there and Kira debated her thoughts as she continued to her scheduled session. She had numerous things she could talk about, but _should_ she talk about them? It was a difficult decision… But if there was anyone she was willing to trust with it, it was Faith. For some reason she felt a connection to the other girl that she couldn't explain. Either way, when she left her last session Faith was waiting for her in the hall. Kira nodded her head to the side and started walking, and Faith smiled and followed.

E-3 was on a dust planet, not the nicest place to be outside, especially with the sandstorms. Since they were unable to go outside for privacy they ended up in Kira's room, which was shared with three other (unhappy) students. None of the others were in here, and even if they had been they would've left, so it worked for privacy. Kira sat in her desk chair and Faith took her bed, laying across it and looking at her. After several minutes of silence Faith chuckled. "Are you ever going to talk?"

"I'm _trying_."

"You're not doing very well."

Shepard grunted and folded her arms, crossing one leg over the other and looking at the opposite wall. "It's not exactly easy."

Faith sighed, propping herself up on her elbows. "We both know what it is you need help with… What you need to talk about."

"Yes, but I don't-"

"It's been months since you came here. Have you talked with _anyone_ about Mindoir?"

Kira clicked her tongue. "No. Dr. Nova tried but I haven't."

"Well I'm not a doctor or a psychologist or someone who's going to analyze you. I'm just your friend and I'd like to know you a little better. Maybe it will be easier if you tell me for _me_?"

Kira looked at her. "I just… What do I start with?"

Faith shrugged. "There's no plan. Just say whatever you want to say. Jump around from idea to idea if you want. We're just talking, Kira."

She sighed, looking away again, this time choosing the floor to stare at. "I feel like it shouldn't affect me this much."

Faith tilted her head. "Why's that?"

"My parents and I weren't especially close. We didn't fight all the time or anything like that, but I wouldn't say we were any closer than your average family. We didn't have long family vacations or go to amusement parks." She looked up at the ceiling. "I don't think I would have felt anything like this if I'd just left home."

"Well there's a difference between not seeing someone and having them die on you. Part of it is probably you being sad for losing your future with them; the events and closeness you _could_ have had."

Kira looked over at her, silent for a moment. "You're smart. That sounds right… Feels right."

Faith looked down at her hands, her fingers playing with the edge of the sheet. "Did you… you know… see them?"

Kira sighed, looking back at the floor. "Yes."

"Both of them?"

"Yes."

"I'm… I'm sorry." She reached out enough to set a hand on Kira's knee.

Kira looked down at the hand on her leg, her eyes defocusing a little. "I had to see. They were buried under rubble, but I had to. It was like… I couldn't believe it unless I saw it myself." She looked away. "Neither of them were… in good shape."

"I wish that wasn't your last sight of them."

"So do I. But I was running on automatic pilot; I wasn't really thinking or deciding on actions." She closed her eyes. "We heard the sounds first… Screams, guns, explosions, all the things you get with any raid. We all grabbed weapons – colony worlds aren't stupid, you know, you have to be armed because you're a target."

Faith nodded. "Did you fight?"

"We didn't get much of a chance. Soon after we fired from the windows they hit the building with something heavy. I don't really know what they used, all I remember is the house coming down." Kira opened her eyes. "My parents covered me but things got… hard to understand. It was like the world was being flipped around, you know? I couldn't even tell which way was up. The next thing I knew I was on my hands and knees in an opening beneath the rubble and both my parents were pinned under it. Maybe my biotics prevented debris from falling on me? But if that's the case…"

Faith's expression saddened. "If that's the case, you're now wondering if you could have saved them, too."

Kira nodded. "If I'd just known about my biotics beforehand… I _could_ do it, you know?" She shook her head. "If I was back there now, I could keep it from falling on us. I could've saved them."

"You can't… do that." Faith moved up, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Things happened as they happened. You can't talk about going back and changing things like that, it's useless if you can't time travel. For things that were your choice, yes, _do_ wonder what you could have done differently, because it's important to learn and remember. But things like _this_? None of that was your choice _or_ your fault. You'll just drive yourself insane thinking that way."

"You're right. And I _know_ you're right. My head, my brain, tells me what you're saying is completely logical."

"But… You still feel that way?"

Kira nodded, looking at her. "Emotions aren't logical."

"I know. When my father died I kept thinking I could have helped. You know, if I was with him, I could have stopped him from stepping in or stopped that gang myself."

"You could have." Kira sighed. "I guess you have to console yourself with the fact that you would have gone with him if you'd known what would happen."

Faith nodded. "Still… It's not _our_ fault, you know? It's theirs. The batarians and the gangs."

"That's why I want to join the military. The soldiers…" Kira's expression darkened. "They just _sat_ there. People were being killed and captured and they just sat there, pinned down. None of them made a move to sacrifice themselves or risk the fire. I did. I fought back. But those _professional soldiers_ just sat there."

Faith shook her head. "They cared more about their own lives? They're supposed to _protect_ people."

"Well, I'm going to do it right. I'm going to kill the slavers and the gangs, the pirates, the criminals, the terrorists. I don't think protecting works; it's just reacting after people have already died. I'm going to go after them like they go after us."

Faith watched her closely, hearing nothing she disagreed with, nothing she disliked. She tilted her head, thinking. "Maybe I'll go with you."

* * *

_A/N: My victorious return to fanfiction! I've been writing for a long time - check my profile for the link to my original stories - but I haven't ever written a good fanfic before, so I thought I'd fix that._

_This story is going to move pretty quickly at the beginning - the first few chapters will be a look in on a year of life each, and the story will slow down after the early years. This will go through the entire trilogy, with most of the actual story taking place during Mass Effect 3.  
_

_Let me know if you would like this story to continue, or if you have any thoughts on how it should proceed or what you'd like to see happen. Thanks for reading!  
_


	2. Chapter 2: Seventeen

_Disclaimer That I Forgot Last Time: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, ME2 wouldn't have been trying to convince me that Jack was a better biotic than my Adept. Also there would be Force Choking._

_Secondary Disclaimer: Femslash starts here. I don't do sex scenes, but if that kind of relationship bothers you, you should probably find a different story._

**Chapter 2: Seventeen**

_April 11, 2171_

Shepard stood in a hallway staring at an info screen that displayed various date for the students at E-3. She was looking for her name, and was very happy with the placement it appeared at: first. _It's something_, she thought, imagining that her parents would be proud of such an achievement. She was still trying to decide if focusing on the event one year ago today was the best decision, or if trying to distract herself and forget it was a better choice. Still lost in thought, she blinked when Faith grabbed her hand (after once more appearing from nowhere) and pulled her down the hallway. "Wha…?" was the only response she managed before she was pulled into a supply closet.

With a grin, Faith yanked the door shut before pushing her against a shelf and kissing her solidly. _Ah_, she thought, forgetting all complaints and returning the kiss, resting her arms around Faith's waist.

The brunette pulled back slowly, but not very far, opening her green eyes. "Happy birthday," she said with a smile.

"Is it my birthday?" Kira said with a tilt of her head, her fingers on Faith's back playing with the hem of her shirt.

"Don't act like you didn't remember," she admonished. "_I _remembered."

"I can see that," Kira said softly, kissing her again.

Faith hummed into the kiss and looked at her as they pulled back. "It's also almost a year since you came here, eight months since we met, and six months since we got together." She tilted her head. "I know the anniversary that's in the front of your mind, though, and I don't plan on letting you sit around alone thinking about it."

"What if I feel like sitting around thinking about it?"

"Then I'll sit with you."

Kira smiled, lifting her hand to brush some hair from her girlfriend's eyes. "Honestly, when I first came here, I thought April 11 would be a much harder day than it is now. I thought this whole year would be harder."

Faith smiled at her. "I'm glad that I help."

Kira raised an eyebrow. "You just _assume_ I'm talking about you?"

"Please, I'm the best thing you have going."

Kira chuckled. "You're right about that."

"So…" Faith moved forward again, tracing a finger on Kira's chest and tilting her head invitingly. "Wanna celebrate all of it?"

Kira blinked. Faith laughed as she was pulled out of the supply closet and towards Kira's room at a rapid pace.

Mass Effect

Shepard hadn't become any more popular with other students or faculty over the past year; in fact, she became _less_ popular with most of them, and Faith by association, but the brunette just seemed to find it funny. Kira was glad to have her, and she still got along with Dr. Nova alright, but the others…

"I see you don't think my lesson is worth paying attention to, Miss Shepard," Dr. Marks said with irritation, even though Kira had only glanced at the door.

It was so petty and childish. Half the researchers here were less mature than the students. They demanded respect; Kira simply demanded respect be earned. She gave it to those that earned it. Those that didn't, well, they tended to react petulantly and prove why she didn't respect them in the first place. With a sigh, Kira stood even as he started the whole 'why don't you come to the front' thing, mentally preparing herself. It would be a victory for him to see her fail, so she knew this wasn't about to be fair.

She was right; he assigned three students to attack her in order to "show how biotics should work together as a team". _Bullshit_, Kira thought as she glanced around at the three with a bored expression. She had learned early on that confidence was one of the most important parts of a fight, and she had confidence in spades. It was simply a fact that she _couldn't_ lose this, and so she wouldn't; none of the others were going to try that hard even if they disliked her. At the instructor's words they all started and Kira felt the lack of gravity that meant she was about to be hurled somewhere. Focusing on her rage, she threw up a barrier, her eyes flashing as she virtually batted away the weaker attacks.

Before they could switch gears she threw her arms up and created a Singularity, smiling as the other three were lifted into the air around her. She stepped up to one of them who was struggling as he was turned upside-down. "Biotics are enhanced by emotion," she informed him as she flipped him around before throwing him at a wall, looking at Dr. Marks as she continued, "Your problem is that you're simply… dulled." She could see the irritation on the instructor's face despite his attempts to hide it, and it made her smile.

Unfortunately, due to her distraction the other two students broke out of her grip and hurled her at the wall. As Kira hit it she snarled, a flash of batarian faces filling her vision. She biotically pulled one of them towards her and shoving herself off the wall to meet him in a midair tackle. She landed on top of him and extended her hand to lift the third student, slamming her into the ceiling and letting her drop before standing and placing her foot on the neck of the boy underneath her, beginning to press down. "Shepard, that's enough!" Kira glared at the instructor before removing her foot from her fellow student and walking towards the door. "You are not dismissed!"

"I'm done anyway," she responded, slamming the door behind her and heading down the hall. This would certainly come back to bite her, but honestly she was finding it harder and harder to care about consequences and punishment. Someone would lecture her, she'd be confined to her room for a period of time, whatever – in the end, they would keep her around because of her ability. She knew the limits she could push, and she was going to push them, partially because she despised them for letting her. No one here was worthy of respect, no one gave orders she felt a need to follow; she was just getting through it. Within a year she would be out of here anyway.

Mass Effect

"You have a way of causing trouble around here," Faith said as she stepped into Kira's room and shut the door behind her.

"Word travels too fast," Kira responded from her position lying on the bed, staring at the bottom of the bunk above her.

"People like to talk." Faith dropped her bag in front of the door and walked over, looking down at her. "Are you okay?"

"Just another flashback. Nothing new."

Faith nodded, climbing onto the bed and resting her head on Kira's shoulder, smiling as she felt the arm curl around her. "I heard you broke another rib."

"Really? Whose?"

"The boy you apparently performed a 'flying tackle' on. Please tell me someone in the class recorded it."

"Probably."

"Think I could get a copy?"

"You need help with your obsession for watching these things."

"Cataloguing incidents of your badassery isn't an _obsession_, it's a _hobby_. Trust me, when you're famous across the galaxy, we'll make _millions_ off of these early vids."

"You're going to merchandise me, aren't you?"

"Think about it! Kira Shepard posters, replica weapons and armor, movie and book deals, plushies…"

"Plushies?"

Faith grinned as she hugged her. "What? You're more huggable than you think, despite your whole angry intimidation thing."

"That's _really_ not going to help my reputation."

"Yeah, but then you'll punch a reporter or something and your reputation will be good again."

"Are you trying to be my agent? What makes you think _you_ won't be the famous one? You'd be a _far_ better public figure."

"I just don't have that quality you do. I'll be known, though, don't you worry – especially when people start asking about all the dirty details. My erotic stories are gonna sell like hotcakes."

"I think we should break up."

"Oh, don't be grumpy – people will write those stories anyway! Shepard fanfiction, it'll be the biggest thing. I just want to make sure they know just how hot the real thing is."

Kira smirked. "You're damn lucky I love you."

Faith sat up. "What was that?"

Kira blinked. "I said, 'you're lucky I like you'…"

"No, no, you can't go back on me now! I heard what you said!"

She sighed. "Fine, I love you, let it go."

Faith grinned. "I'm _never_ going to let it go." She leaned down and kissed her, smiling as she rolled to rest on top of her. "I love you too, by the way."

"I thought you were just going to tease me forever," Kira said with a smirk as she looked up at her, brushing her brown hair aside.

"I'm going to do that, too," Faith said as she tugged on a lock of crimson hair. "But that's not what's on my mind right now."

"I think I can guess what's in there," Kira said, giving another smirk as her hand slipped between them.

Mass Effect

The instructor was telling them all what they were going to be doing, but Shepard wasn't paying attention; her attention was, as usual, focused on the girl beside her as she snickered at a comment from the brunette. It was clear what they were doing anyway, they'd been told everything before, and Kira didn't have the patience for repetition. She and Faith were too busy finding it funny that they'd been singled out and 'handicapped' for this exercise.

All of the students were being put through some survival training. They were split into teams and given a certain amount of supplies, and they were about to be flown out to various destinations where they would be dropped off to survive and make their way back to the base over the course of the week. The funny part was that every team was comprised of four students… except for _their_ team, which was simply the two of them for reasons that were obvious to pretty much everyone. Shepard was disliked by the majority of the instructors and students, and Faith was in the same boat not only by association but because she had wholeheartedly embraced Shepard's methods of dealing with other people and had angered or irritated a good number of them herself, a fact that Shepard found endlessly amusing.

They were being set up to fail, _again_, but both were just glad they wouldn't have to deal with others for an entire week out in the wild. "If we had teammates they'd probably just end up dead anyway," Faith remarked with a sidelong glance at Shepard.

"You think they're that lacking in survival skill?"

"No, I think it would just be really naïve to expect them to survive through a week of annoying you with no supervision."

Kira smirked. "Fair enough. This is certainly better for _my_ health, but how do _you_ feel about being stuck alone with me for a whole week, with no one else?"

"Are you kidding? This is what I've been wishing for since we got together. I've even been secretly planning to sabotage us so it takes us longer to get back."

"You're not very good at secret planning."

"I decided to use my wiles instead, it's easier."

"You and your wiles."

"I don't hear you complaining."

"Nothing to complain about."

Since the instructor seemed to be ignoring them as much as they were ignoring him, they weren't called on their lack of attention – the instructor was likely hoping they would miss vital details and end up failing the exercise, anyway. Ten minutes later they sat on a transport, and a few hours later they were dropped off and abandoned at their destination. As Faith looked around and took stock of their location, she sighed. "I see a lot of rocks, dust and sand. Given that information, I've narrowed our current location down to 'anywhere on this fucking planet that isn't inside the research station'."

"There's not a lot of variety," Kira admitted, examining their surroundings. "One place looks just like another. We'll just have to hope we don't get any sandstorms; I can't imagine being turned around even more would do anything to help us keep our bearings."

"We'll get one for sure, but we can keep our bearings by finding shelter before then." Faith shielded her eyes against the sun and turned, pointing in a direction. "We came from that way, even though the transport flew off in the other direction to mess with us."

"I'm glad you paid attention." Kira adjusted the pack on her shoulder. "So, we've got a full day of trudging through a rocky desert to get through. Considering we're probably a lot further out than anyone else, we should get started if we don't want to be last."

Faith sighed, giving her a look. "Are you sure we can't take our time?"

"I'm not letting them win."

"You're so competitive."

Kira raised an eyebrow. "Just imagine the smug looks on their faces."

Faith paused. "…Okay, we can't come in last." She sighed again. "I guess we can have a vacation someday anyway."

"We will, in someplace nicer than this," Kira assured her as they started walking.

"What, you don't like this lush, lovely landscape?"

"The only things 'lush' on this planet are the security guards."

"Wordplay! I like it. Does that mean you want to play a game? Maybe The License Plate Game?"

"I don't know what that is."

"Oh yeah, colony kid. It was a thing back on Earth a long time ago, using plates they put on cars."

Kira gave her a look. "Great. You just point out the first ancient Earth vehicle we come across with one of those."

"Fine. How about I Spy? Just pick a color you see, and I have to guess what you see."

"Yellowish-brown."

"Is it sand?"

"Yep."'

Faith sighed. "I hate this planet."

Kira smirked. "Well it's not about to get better – looks like they dropped us right at the edge of the storm."

Faith looked ahead and saw the approaching wall of sand, letting out a groan. "Those assholes! We haven't even made it more than a few dozen meters!"

"I think that was the idea. We've got no cover, either."

The brunette watched the redhead start to unfold the tent. "What do we do? That thing won't hold up against the wind…"

"You're right – this thing's useless." Kira shoved it back into the holder and through it back over her shoulder, flexing her fingers. "Let's keep moving, huh?"

Faith looked from her to the storm, then back, before grinning. "Crazy – I like it."

"I know, it's why you're with me."

The storm approached at ridiculous speeds; it came like a wave, unstoppable and unavoidable. Kira stepped in front, cracking her neck before throwing her hands forward. The storm suddenly split around them like a river diverging around a boulder, joining back together on the other side of them – but the majority of sand and wind skipped them entirely. Faith was surprised it had worked, but she didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it. The two of them moved forward under the biotic barrier Kira had created, walking against the weather.

When Kira started to grow tired, Faith took over, keeping them protected. Through teamwork they eventually made it to a rocky outcropping where they were able to take shelter by digging under it. Faith shook sand from her hair after warning Kira to shut her eyes, flinging it everywhere. "I doubt anyone else is doing _that_! Seriously, are they trying to kill us?"

"Maybe," Kira responded as she brushed sand from her own hair. "It wouldn't surprise me. That's okay, though – it just means we end up stronger than the others."

"Ohh, what if that's the point?" Faith looked up at her. "What if they're harder on the most promising students to make them better?"

"Then we must be the best damn students in the program."

Mass Effect

Four were watching them as they walked. Kira recognized them as other students, though she didn't bother to remember their names. When they made it within range, one of the four called out, "Surprised to see you still alive!"

"They _honestly_ think we give a shit," Faith said with a note of disbelief.

"As long as they don't mess with-" Kira stopped as a spiked tent pole stabbed into the ground in front of her, thrown by one of the others and causing their group to laugh.

Faith grimaced. "That was a bad move…"

Kira dropped her pack, looking up as the two boys from the group barred her way. She didn't hear what they said – after that it didn't matter. All she knew was that she'd been challenged – and she knew how to respond to that now. They were trying to slow her down, stall her so that she wouldn't be first. These weren't even the same assholes that had bothered her before; everyone on the planet was against her, aside from Faith; trying to hold her back. She'd decided early on not to be held back anymore, and as she tuned back into their taunts, she decided to remove the obstacles in her way in the best way she knew.

The tent pole was pulled from the ground and spun in the same movement, striking one of the boys across the face. Kira moved it low and tripped the other before turning back to the first, slamming the pole into the boy's face and sending up a spray of blood, causing the two girls with them to scream. In the back of her mind she simply thought they were being weak, but she didn't realize just how much she looked like she was going to kill one of them. As the boy lay on the ground cupping his nose, Kira turned back to the one she'd tripped, who was starting to get up. With a growl she shifted her grip on the pole and struck him in the side, knocking him back to the ground.

He turned onto his back and looked up as she stood over him, turning the pole again so that the spike was aiming down at him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell, bitch, are you crazy?!"

Kira ignored him, simply narrowing her eyes as she raised it.

"Kira!" She barely stopped herself at Faith's yell, steeling her body as she glanced over. "Enough is enough – they're done." Kira looked back down, stabbing the pole into the sand next to the boy's head before lifting her back and stalking away. Faith looked at the boys before running to catch up, falling into step beside her. "What was _that_? You looked like you were gonna kill him!"

"I don't know," Shepard answered honestly, keeping her eyes on the sand as she walked.

Faith considered her, her expression softening. "Instinct again?"

Kira nodded, sparing a glance back. "I would've killed them." She looked back ahead, giving an almost imperceptible frown and continuing more quietly, "Still would."

"They're just…" Faith stopped herself, trailing off. She'd been about to remind her girlfriend that the boys were just bullies following the crowd and hadn't even physically attacked her, but by Kira's expression she surmised that she knew that already. Kira was just as confused as she was, and she could only imagine how frightening it would be to not have control or even _understanding_ of your own actions. "It's alright," Faith said, deciding not to rebuke or reinforce Kira's actions. "It wasn't your fault. Honestly, after all that's happened, anyone antagonizing you should know by now how it will end."

"With a rage-fueled violent overreaction?"

"Yes, actually. Kira, if there was a particularly mean dog in your colony and you saw it bite people _multiple times_, why would you decide to throw a rock at it? And if you _did_, could you really blame anyone but yourself for being so stupid?"

"I guess… Dogs are just animals, though. I'm…" Kira gave her a worried look. "I think there's something wrong with me."

Faith stopped them and faced her, brushing Kira's hair back. "We'll fix it," she assured her.

"What if I hurt _you_?"

"But you haven't."

"But what if I _did_?"

"But you _haven't_. Maybe it would be safer to leave – but it would also be safer not to join the military, and we're both going to do that. I know you won't and that's what counts – besides, you need me."

Kira sighed, looking away. "Yeah, I do."

"Hey – an abusive relationship is one thing, but this is something in your _head_." Faith tapped her forehead. "Something that can be fixed, or at least helped. Besides, you only lash out at people you see as your enemies – which is everyone _but_ me."

"You're right… You're right."

"Besides, I can take care of myself better than those losers."

Kira smirked. "I'm holding you to that."

Mass Effect

They'd made it back before anyone else, but they hadn't bothered celebrating – as soon as the team they'd run into returned, Kira was put in a solitary room awaiting "review". With a history of increasingly violent incidents, she didn't really have an argument. She sat on the floor with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, staring at the floor because she was afraid to close her eyes. She was struggling with emotions and a mind that she didn't understand and couldn't control; it was as if someone else took over at times and that other person only knew one way to deal with problems.

Her biotics were powerful, but lacked all control – being connected to her emotions, they were just like them. As it was she doubted she'd be useful to anyone, and a new voice crawled into her mind through the hole made by the doubt. _How cold have I become?_ There was still blood on her clothing and it seemed to mock her. She was more of a bully than anyone who insulted her, and she couldn't just hide behind a mask of "payback" and pretend they deserved it. After all the incidents that had occurred, she was the only constant between them – she was the problem. Worse, she had no idea how to fix it – it was like falling with nothing to catch onto.

She was afraid of bringing Faith down with her, possibly more than anything else. She knew she'd never willingly hurt her, but she simply didn't have the control to guarantee that. Surely she should be in control of her own actions – everyone else was. Did she really have an excuse? Was there some sort of chemical imbalance in her brain, was something broken? Was it her fault? She had no answers for any of these questions, and her mind told her that she was alone – and that she deserved to be.

Mass Effect

Outside of the room, two people discussed the fate of the girl inside. One of them was quite adamant for their position; "She's dangerous," she argued. "She's unstable, and she becomes increasingly violent under duress; she's not reliable."

The other, an older male, seemed to be bolstered by the 'opposing' argument. "All of those qualities would make her into a weapon," he stated with certainty, looking through the one-way glass at the figure sitting against the wall. "The military isn't interested in the weak, and she's been proven strong."

"Strong and _unstable_."

"Stability can be taught, or enforced. She may even be useful as she is."'

"She needs help-"

"She needs _training_. We can provide that. This is a military-funded installation – remember that. You will not expel her from this program. She will finish your training."

The woman sighed. "Fine. What if there's another incident?"

"Then we will handle the situation."

"You mean sweep it under the rug?"

"I mean handle it." The man turned back to the window. "How we choose to do so is none of your concern."

Mass Effect

Kira was quiet after being released from her punishment, simply trying to avoid everyone. She hoped that no one else would try to antagonize her – at this point, she just wanted to fade into the shadows and go unnoticed. Faith refused to leave her alone – she walked with her on the circuitous routes she took to avoid crowded halls, and ran interference when it looked like someone was going to bother her. Together, they managed to make it through their final year at the station – and the next one would be far better.

Mass Effect

Elsewhere in the galaxy, a 21-year-old woman was tired of running. Every night she slept lightly, and every morning she awoke early and was on the move in minutes. Tonight she was sitting in the bathroom of a hotel room with one blanket and one pillow, slowly nodding off. Sleep was difficult – any tiny sound would wake her immediately, and she would clutch the pistol in her hand even tighter every time. At the moment she was running on three hours of sleep during the past seventy-two hours, but she was built to run in bad situations. Even now she wasn't planning to rest for long – resting meant her father's men catching up to her, and that was not allowed.

A quiet squeaking sound snapped her awake once more and she tensed, straining her ears in the darkness. It happened again – a window being raised. A muffed sound followed and she stood silently, moving against the door and listening to the room outside. _Three of them. Heavy boots – soldiers._ There was a very small sound, but her ears picked it up. _Static. Comm chatter – more outside._ She listened carefully, placing a hand against the door – she'd already removed the hinges. At this point, it wasn't even _possible_ for her to enter a room without immediately thinking of every possible situation that could conceivably occur.

A second later she heard it – the soft sound of darts hitting the bed. She didn't waste a moment, summoning her biotics and blasting the door outwards, taking them by surprise. The door hit one of them, smashing him into the wall. She stepped out and fired on the second, sending a round straight through his goggles with perfect precision. As the next one slid another dart into the chamber of his tranq rifle she took a few steps and ran along the wall for the last three before lashing out and kicking him across the face. As she landed in front of him she threw out her hand, using her biotics to shove him out of the window – one of the reasons she always picked the second-highest floor.

She then walked over and pulled the broken door aside, shooting and killing the final soldier before taking the comm piece from him and sticking it in her own ear. She quickly learned that there were three more outside, two snipers on separate rooftops and another in a vehicle somewhere below. She pressed against the wall, leaning slightly to look out the window, quickly spotting both snipers – she'd chosen a corner room to have two windows, and one was watching each window. That still wouldn't be a problem – preparing herself for a run, she lifted one of the soldiers biotically and threw him through one window a split second before bursting through the other one herself.

The snipers were momentarily distracted, and that was all she needed; her jump carried her to the opposite building, where she managed to catch the edge of the roof with her hand. She vaulted up and wasted no time continuing the sprint; by the time the sniper on the next roof noticed her she was already in midair. She landed in a roll and kicked out, her foot hitting his face and stunning him. She finished the roll and slammed his head into the roof before finishing him with the pistol, and then dropped the pistol and immediately threw up a biotic barrier. The other sniper's dart hit it, deflecting away inches from her face. She picked up the tranq rifle from the dead sniper, sighted on the other, and fired, hitting the base of his neck and knocking him out in seconds.

Four seconds later she was on the street below, pistol tucked into the back of her pants beneath her jacket. A simple dark jacket, shirt and pants were her chosen outfit, keeping her from standing out in crowds. Fortunately this area was full of people, so she just started walking. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a vehicle flying overhead, searching over the area, but she kept herself from looking directly at it and didn't change her speed, continuing to walk casually even when she thought it had spotted her. Eventually it moved on and she breathed a little easier.

Finally she slowed down, feeling the fatigue hit her hard. She couldn't go on as she was for very long; she'd end up dead or caught, one way or the other. But she was almost there – a Cerberus contact was waiting for her just a few days away (hours if she managed to secure transport that wouldn't throw up a flag to her father's trackers). He'd somehow managed to leave her a message, and though she was cautious due to her father's ties to the organization, she knew it was really her only option. She couldn't disappear, not alone – she needed the help of a powerful group like Cerberus.

When she finally arrived, the contact gave her a message from the Illusive Man himself – if she worked for them, they would provide protection from her father. For Miranda, it wasn't even a choice – she was willing to do anything to keep out of his grasp, and while such a life would be dangerous, stressful, and even criminal, it would still be _hers_. Hours later she found herself on a Cerberus transport, heading away from the planet and the grasping arm of her father. And, for the first time in a long, long time, she fell asleep immediately.

* * *

_A/N: I hate having only one chapter up, so I thought I'd upload this now. I'll be trying to stick to a once-a-week update schedule (every weekend), but don't hate me if I miss it - I've been able to do it before, but next year's going to be pretty busy. Still, I won't leave you hanging too long._

**Review Replies**

**SPACER8000: **Thanks, so do I! Hopefully this story will live up to that potential.

**SleepyWerewolf:** I haven't actually read much ME fanfiction, but it's good to hear this one is different so far. I hope I can keep to that when we get to the storyline of the games.

Only two reviews so far, but I know more of you are reading it, I can see stats! Drop me a review and I'll love you for every, or at least for the next hour or so!


	3. Chapter 3: Eighteen

_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Miranda would still be a bisexual romance option and she would actually join your team in ME3. (Also FemShep would be on all the posters instead of Generic Grunt Man.)_

**Chapter 3: Eighteen**

_April 11, 2172_

On her eighteenth birthday, Kira Shepard enlisted in the Alliance military. It was the best day she'd had in over two years – especially since Faith was enlisting right alongside her. The Alliance was willing to keep them together, sending them to the same place to train and promising they'd be in the same unit. That same day they were on a transport heading away from E-3. Faith was looking out the window as it faded, sticking out her tongue. "Hope I never see you again! In fact, I hope you take a meteor!"

Kira smirked, listening to her as she looked out of another window at the open expanse of space. "Think we'll have any of the same problems at the new place?"

"I _hope_ not." Faith leaned back and laid her head on Kira's shoulder. "Military discipline with keep that from happening."

"You obviously haven't seen the same vids I have."

"Pff, we're biotics – the military _needs_ more of us. The higher-ups will be on our side."

"Yeah, _that_ kind of attitude will be popular…"

"It's _your _attitude."

"I know, and I'm expecting it to get me in trouble."

"But you're not changing it."

"Nope."

Faith smiled. "That's what I was hoping."

Mass Effect

Military training was hard, tiring and unrelenting, but Kira relished every second of it. Never before had she had such an outlet for her emotions; officers would point her at targets or special training rooms, and she would tear up everything in sight – it was so freeing, she found herself happier than she'd been in a long time. Even more surprising, she found that she got along with soldiers more than any other type of person she'd ever met, even _before_ the incident on Mindoir. Unlike at E-3, she was finding herself on the _right_ side of people for once; fellow soldiers were, for the most part, supporting her and even cheering her on at times.

Today she was about to do one of her favorite exercises: an obstacle course made to train biotics for open combat. She stood at the entrance wearing the lightest-weight clothing that she could – tight shorts and a sleeveless shirt, both black (personal preference). Her crimson hair was slightly longer these days, thanks to regulations being relaxed for biotics. She began stretching in anticipation, smirking at the whistles that came from her girlfriend on the sideline. There was a pretty large group there on certain days like today, since they liked to compete for completion times and ability. Kira wasn't at the top of the board, not yet – she had the power, but not the precision or experience. She was intending to change her placement today, however.

She moved to the entrance of the course, tensing as it prepared to open. On the sidelines a few bets were placed, and Faith's voice was rising above the others as it often did; "Show 'em how it's done, baby!"' Kira smirked, shifting her feet and launching forward the moment the gate slid aside. Unwilling to fail – or disappoint her girlfriend – she hit the first target that stepped out – limited-AI robots meant to represent enemies – with such force that it splintered apart and shot pieces into the air that rained down over the rest of the course, eliciting cheers from the onlookers. Kira slid around the corner, spotting two more bots; a quick glance told her the one in front represented a civilian and the one in back an enemy holding them hostage, so she yanked the one in back straight up and down to her feet before jumping over it. Above, the officer overseeing the training marked another check on the screen beside him.

Kira went through at a dead sprint; the only issue was reacting _correctly_. If a bot stepped out, dropped down or popped up, she had to quickly identify whether it was a hostile, a potential threat or a civilian. "Hostile" ones she destroyed instantly; some she tore in half, running through the shredding pieces. Others, she slammed them into the ceiling above, the walls or the floor, doing a fair bit of damage to the walls in the process – one was even blasted _through_ the wall, forcing her to hold back on sheer power for the rest of the course. If a "potential threat" bot appeared – possibly armed but without clear identifying colors, usually lacking armor – then she had to hold back even more, shoving them to the floor, disarming them or pulling them to the side to neutralize them. "Civilian" bots had to be pulled to safety out of the way or "saved" from the two other types.

The course was crude and simplified, but it was meant to get a biotic used to the quick thinking and faster reactions necessary in an open battle situation. Kira's power was virtually unmatched among those at the base, but like anyone else she needed practice _using_ that power – and so she ran the course every day that they let her, improving upon her weaknesses. The final obstacle was the most difficult – six bots in entrenched positions, with two "hostages". Kira didn't hesitate – she couldn't risk failing to beat the top time again; _one minute fifty-three seconds_, she repeated in her mind, having no idea how close she was to it or if she'd gone over already. She continued running straight into the corridor, glancing over the set-up and yanking both "hostage" bots towards herself. Using one hand she guided them down behind her as she raised the other, summoning all she had and raising her voice in a yell as she threw it forward.

The ensuing tornado of force shredded everything – the bots, their cover, the wall behind them – sending a whirlwind of sparks and shrapnel outwards where it collided with the wall in a cacophony of shrieking metal. Kira skidded to a stop outside of the now-missing wall, catching her breath as she turned to look at the clock as the time stopped – _twenty-seven seconds_. Having never slowed from a dead run, she'd somehow managed to beat the current top time by nearly a minute and a half. One of the guys on the sideline gave a low whistle and the rest cheered, but Kira paid them little attention – she was already occupied as she had to turn and catch the girl that was currently jumping at her.

"Half a minute! Talk about a record!" Faith grinned as Kira set her down. "Any two of us would fail to beat that time!"

Kira smirked. "All you have to do is stop being careful."

"Indeed," an instructor said from behind, causing Kira to grimace and look at him over her shoulder. "And you certainly weren't careful."

"I didn't hit any of the civilians…"

"No, but I find that more surprising than anything."

Faith frowned. "Does that mean she's going to be punished, or…?"

"No…" The man shrugged. "I still think you should be more careful, Shepard – you've got some dangerous power. _But_, you ran it flawlessly, so I'm not going to complain today."

Kira grinned. "Thanks." She looked back to Faith as the man left. "So how much did you make?"

Faith laughed, showing the number she'd won through bets. "Enough to have a pretty good time during the break…"

Mass Effect

Miranda slid the door shut, sealing it with one of the room's computers. Guards started banging on it, but she knew she had plenty of time. She swept her dark hair out of her face, smiling as she spotted the small case she'd come for. She removed the cables from the rectangular silver case, picking up the reflective metal and sliding it into a small pack on her back. She zipped it up and then hopped on a counter, sliding aside part of the ceiling and climbing up before sliding it back into place behind her. She felt vindication for the time she'd spent memorizing the ventilation system of the research station as she made her way through, hearing the guards break into the room behind her.

She made her way to another room and dropped down, exiting the door and walking down the hallway at a steady pace. _Never run unless you're already picked out_, she repeated to herself, smiling and nodding towards a scientist she passed in the hallway. She glanced behind her and spotted guards looking for her. As she made it to a corner she smiled and waved, drawing their attention. After they spotted her she stepped around the corner and slapped a silver disc on the wall without slowing, pressing a button on the disc and then continuing the same pace. She counted out twelve paces and slipped into a side room, placing her finger over a button on her belt as she looked out the doorway. The moment the guards came around the corner she pulled the door closed and pressed the button, detonating the charge she'd placed.

There were a few cries following the explosion and she stepped out into the hall, drawing her pistol and shooting the two survivors in the head. Moving to the bodies she knelt and picked up one of their comm units, then stood and pulled out a second silver disc charge. She tossed it up where it stuck on the ceiling above the bodies and then started walking again, turning another corner. Though it was the first day she'd ever set foot in the station, she knew its layout better than anyone who had spent their years working there; she never slacked on studying for missions. She turned corners and took paths without hesitation, holding the comm to her ear. When she heard guards reporting the bodies she'd recently left, she waited a few more moments before detonating the second charge, burning and bringing down the ceiling on the other guards.

She made it to the exit as two guards called for her to freeze from the end of the hallway behind her, raising their rifles. Without bothering to even slow her movements she swiped the stolen keycard to open the door, turning and shooting both guards in the same smooth movement as she stepped out of the door. Finally she started picking up the pace, paying attention to the voice in her ear. She slid her pistol back into its holster and broke off in a run, lifting another two guards with biotics. The next two she leapt into, taking one out with a kick to the side of his head, and the other with a palm strike to the base of his chin followed up by sweeping his legs and sending him to the ground.

She didn't bother finishing any of them off; she only needed a clear path. She went into a full-out sprint, raising a biotic barrier around her as the guards behind began shooting. Without a moment's pause she headed straight for the edge of the station, which dropped off in a steep, tall cliff. Moments before she arrived, a shuttle rose up above the edge with the side door open. Miranda jumped in and slammed the door shut behind her as the shuttle took off, heading for the atmosphere. She had barely taken a seat before the screen in front of her turned on to show the Illusive Man. "You were successful," he stated.

Miranda smiled, removing the silver case from her pack and holding it up. "It wasn't exactly a difficult assignment."

"Nonetheless, it was important," TIM said around the cigarette he was lighting. "Head back to your base – with luck, I'll have a more challenging mission ready for you by the time you arrive."

"That's what I was hoping for," she said before the transmission cut out. Working for Cerberus had turned out to be a dream job – it didn't matter that most of the galaxy seemed to think of them as terrorists. Cerberus' ideals were about uplifting humanity, improving their position in the galaxy – and they would do what was necessary to make humanity better. The pro-human organization was something Miranda could be proud of, and she was saving a lot of human lives, so she ignored what others thought. In her opinion Cerberus was her savior, her job, and her purpose; nothing else mattered.

Not even when she saw the news about the stolen bioweapon or the murdered scientists. After all… it was all for the greater good.

Mass Effect

It was her first actual mission, and the tension she felt was nearly overwhelming. Shepard was more anxious than nervous, but to her relief – and pride – Faith was doing nearly as well in training as she was, and thus was allowed on the mission as well. Faith had actually surprised her – she went at her training with immense effort and determination, perfecting everything that she could. While her biotics weren't as powerful as Shepard's, they were more focused, and she had discovered a couple talents that Shepard didn't have – she was quite skilled with tech. While Shepard was power, Faith was finesse, and they complimented each other as well in battle as they did elsewhere.

Today, they would learn just how well that was. The top members from their training facility had been chosen to undertake their first active mission. Currently, six of them sat in a transport, clad in military-issue armor and carrying their chosen weapons. Three of them were biotics – that was Shepard, Faith, and a boy around the same age named Garret, who had taken advantage of the relaxed restrictions on biotics (as Faith had, keeping her brown hair long) to keep his dark hair a little longer than a crew cut, allowing him to gel it and leave it slightly spiked. He was one of the trainees that Shepard and Faith had become friends with, and was also the one who had held the top time in the obstacle course prior to Shepard's victory. He wasn't the most serious of recruits, which was probably why he worked with them – Shepard's insults and Faith's dry sarcasm were simply funny to him.

They had all received their designations, as well; Shepard had been classified as an Adept, specialized in biotics and receiving special training in them, beginning to learn to use abilities that not every biotic could. Faith was classified as a Sentinel, and was being trained to use a marriage of biotics and tech skills, making her extremely versatile. Garret on the other hand was a Vanguard, a specialist in biotic close combat; unlike Faith and Shepard, who were carrying the lightest weapons possible (pistols and small SMGs), instead of an SMG he carried a shotgun for when he got close, and his armor was slightly heavier.

The other three on the team weren't biotics, but soldiers from the other part of the academy. They had all met a few times during basic or general training that involved things all soldiers needed to learn regardless of ability, and they had all gotten along well enough. Roland was their team's Infiltrator, a man with a serious look and an even grimmer demeanor; he had a large sniper rifle compacted and resting on his back, and word was he was the most accurate shot in the entire academy. Their Soldier, the member with the heaviest armor and largest weapons, was named John, and he was a large, friendly man, bald and wide of frame but non-threatening outside of combat situations. The final member of the team was an Engineer, specialized entirely in tech and with a lot of unique gadgets, was named Leon; he was a jovial man with brown hair swept to the side, who preferred to joke about things if he could.

The team was perfectly balanced, an intentional decision in order to get every recruit used to working with other specializations. The team leader was John; while Shepard wasn't sure he was the best choice, she was willing to do what he said. After all, he was in the same position she was. She focused on readying herself for the mission: a terrorist group known as Freedom's Ring had taken control of a missile base on a planet with civilian colonies, thus giving them easy targets to use as leverage. They had a lot of demands that the military had no plans to answer; instead, Shepard's team was their answer. They were to go in quietly, neutralize all terrorists in any way possible, stop any launches and secure the base.

Their shuttle went in low, setting down at a side entrance to the base. Their pilot wished them good luck and Shepard stepped off to see a beautiful night sky above rolling hills. "It's a million times better than E-3," Faith commented as she moved to stand beside her.

"And we're here to make sure it stays that way," Shepard responded, smiling at Faith before turning to the rest of the team.

"We're going in quiet," John said, resting his large rifle on his shoulder. "But there's no telling how long that'll last. I say we focus on speed above all, only stick to stealth as long as it lasts and then go all-out; these guys are on edge, they might fire those missiles at any time and I'd rather not take chances."

It wasn't the way Shepard would have done it, but she kept silent, deferring to their current leader. With no time to lose, the group headed inside immediately. Two guards were near their entrance and Roland activated his stealth cloak, moving behind one to take him out quietly with a knife while Shepard crushed the other before he could make a sound. The group moved forward with all speed at John's behest, but doing so meant that a few minutes in, they tripped an alarm. Suddenly, stealth was out the window – lights were flashing and sirens were blaring, and before long, gunfire filled the air. The group didn't slow but continued to push forward, heading for the missile control room.

John unloaded round after round from his heavy rifle, utilizing suppressing fire to pin down enemies. Kira and Garret charged right in to tear apart those that were pinned down, Leon and Faith both played support and guarded the flanks, and Roland took out any enemies that tried to switch positions. The further they went the more resistance they met, as every guard in the place knew exactly where they were so defenses were pulled from elsewhere. Kira wasn't impressed with the way John's plan was going, and she considered taking control and switching it up… and she would, if they wouldn't make it in time. For now she stuck with the group.

As a hostile stood and aimed his rifle, she lifted him into the air before launching herself onto the rail he'd been hiding behind, firing a round from her pistol through his head as he was disabled. Two more took aim and she let herself fall back, watching the fire from John's rifle rip them apart. A grenade came at her from a back corner and she caught it midair with her biotics, throwing it back where it came from. The explosion forced another man out of hiding and Roland's rifle pierced his head instantly, splattering his blood against the back wall. Shepard vaulted up over the railing and came down with a large-scale biotic shockwave that suspended several people, and Faith's warping detonated her effect, shattering most of the bones in the targets' bodies.

Meanwhile, two soldiers came from behind and attempted to open fire, but Leon fried the systems in their weapons, overheating them and rendering them useless. Their moment of confusion was all Garret needed as he performed a biotic charge, crushing one against the wall and blasting the other with his shotgun. A soldier in heavy armor stepped out of a doorway, raising a grenade launcher and opening fire on them. Faith threw up a barrier, shutting out the explosions until Shepard used her biotics to wrench the barrel of his gun towards the floor, causing his next shot to impact at his feet. That explosion was the last of the room's combat and the group hurried on without missing a beat.

They tore a path through all resistance regardless of what was being thrown at them. Shepard, for the moment, had no concerns or worries – everything was violence. Finally they arrived at their destination, and they didn't wait to break in – but the terrorist group's leader was ready for them.

The room was all sleek metal and screens, nearly brand new aside from a few scorch marks caused by the terrorists' attack. On a large screen ahead was a view of the colonies, and John was about to rush forward to stop the countdown when Leon stopped him with a hand. "Hold on – that console's linked to something."

"Indeed it is," said a bedraggled man with brown hair and a scruffy beard. He held a rifle and stood near a doorway. They all aimed their weapons, recognizing him from their Intel as the terrorists' leader, but he chuckled and dropped his rifle, gesturing to the screens. "See that video feed?" He gestured to the screens, indicating one beside the view of the colony – a view of a couple dozen people locked in a room. "That room is located somewhere in this facility – and inside is every survivor of our attack. While you have made it through our forces in mere minutes… you stop here."

"What's your game?" John asked, keeping an eye on the missile countdown.

"Simple – if you stop the missile launch, the explosives in that room detonate, killing quite a few innocent civilians and soldiers. The only way to avoid doing so is to allow me to leave – and I will contact you with the code that my officer has, which will allow you to stop the launch without causing the detonation."

John growled, reluctantly lowering his rifle. "Very well."

"_What_?" Shepard stepped forward, turning a glare on John. "You're letting him go?!"

"We don't have a choice."

"Precisely," the man chuckled, pressing a button to open the door. He didn't get more than a step through it, however, before Shepard's biotics yanked him back into the room to the ground at her feet. "This isn't the deal!"

"Shepard!" John was moving forward, but Kira was ignoring him.

"Keep him here," she said to Faith, who nodded and held the man on the ground with her own biotics.

"Innocent people are going to die!" John said, his rage growing.

Shepard fixed him with a cold stare. "And if we don't stop the launch, even more will die. He probably doesn't even have a code. And even if he does we can't trust him to send it to us if we let him go. And regardless of _all_ of that, if we let him go, he'll do something like this again."

"I'm not sacrificing those people to stop him!"

"That's the difference between us," Shepard said as she moved past him towards the console. "Their sacrifice will be remembered," she said as she looked over the computer before pausing as she heard the click behind her.

"Stand down, Shepard," John said in a hard voice, his rifle leveled at the back of her head. Everyone else was deadly silent as he spoke slowly, "I'm in command of this mission."

"Forty-three," Shepard said, watching the countdown on the screen. "Forty-two… Forty-one…"

"This is _my call_," John continued. "And if you don't follow my orders-"

"Too late," Shepard interrupted, looking at him over her shoulder with one amber eye as she pressed the button on the computer. Several of the team members' eyes went wide as the other video feed showed an explosion a moment before it went to static, but Shepard's expression didn't change at all.

John's expression was somewhere between shock and rage. "You killed them…"

"_You_ killed them," Shepard stated harshly, glancing to her left as she realized he was unstable at the moment; she continued after she saw what she was hoping for. "_You_ decided to rush in," she said as she turned to face him fully. "You made our entrance loud, you let them know we were coming, you gave them time to set this trap up… _You_ put those people in that room."

John leveled his rifle again. "On the ground," he stated in a hard tone. "You're going to have a lot to answer for."

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "I'm not going down for _your_ incompetence. Lower your weapon."

"I said get on the ground!"

"I said lower your weapon!"

The gunshot was sudden, but Faith's barrier flashed into view and deflected the shot from Shepard in the same instant, as she'd expected. An unseen wind rose in the room as Kira retaliated, flinging John against the opposite wall and pinning him there. His gun hissed and clicked, disabled by Leon's quick action, and Roland held a gun to John's head as Garret began removing his weapons. "And this is just our first mission," Leon said with a look at the rest of the group. "Not a good sign."

"The rest of you did well," Shepard said as she activated her comm. "Our mission was successful – launch disarmed. Yes sir; we captured the terrorists' leader. Casualties of facility personnel - assumed one-hundred percent. Performance?" Kira turned cold eyes on John. "Team Leader John Ryan turned on us. Yes sir. Yes sir. We'll head to the pick-up point." She looked to her team. "They'll debrief us on the way back." She moved to stand before John, who looked up at her in anger.

"You're as bad as they are…"

Kira shook her head, showing no sign of amusement. "It's soldiers like you that get others killed. I have no idea why they picked you as Team Leader – you have no capacity for hard decisions."

"You're a traitor!"

"Is that so?" Kira tilted her head, folding her arms. "Then why is the team on my side?"

John looked around, but he had no argument – not one person was ready to defend him.

Mass Effect

The barracks were dead silent, as was usual in the hours shortly after midnight. Curfew had come and gone, and no one was supposed to be awake – but Shepard was. She sat on the bathroom floor, leaning her head back against the cool tile in the darkness. There was the occasional drip of water – a leaky pipe somewhere in the walls – but aside from that, all was silent. There was a subtle echo whenever she shifted, but she knew she wouldn't wake anyone in the other room. She just needed to be… away.

Claustrophobia of a sort closed in on her. She didn't panic of course, but there was an underlying anxiety caused by her knowledge that she couldn't just get out or escape the place, not easily. Ever since the incident on Mindoir she'd been stuck in one place or another, and it caused a lot of stress. She felt trapped, even though it was her choice to be where she was now. It wasn't a problem itself, but it compounded other problems, making them worse. With all the outlets she was given through military missions and training, her violent nature was sated and controllable – but that wasn't her only problem.

She was lucky, though. John was gone – not imprisoned, but dishonorably discharged. She didn't have anything against him personally, but she didn't think he had what it took to be in the military, especially not as a leader. Instead, the team had been given over to Shepard herself; due to her performance in both training and on the mission a week earlier, she had been made Team Leader. None of the others seemed to have anything against the decision; in fact, they were all pretty supportive, especially Faith, who was just proud. All of them knew she would be a good leader.

But Shepard worried. John's words bothered her – not because she thought she had made a wrong decision, but because she didn't know if she would always remember where the line was. She was willing to sacrifice a few dozen people to save tens of thousands, but how far would she go beyond that? How many terrible acts would she end up committing for the 'right' reasons? There was that saying about a road to Hell, and she was pretty sure she was on that road. She knew she was willing to do whatever it took to make things right, but she was afraid – afraid that, in the process, she'd do so much that she'd end up making things wrong.

The people she had sacrificed on the mission – it had been easy, in the moment. Cold logic had dictated her actions, making it perfectly clear what the correct decision was. But late at night everything else dimmed and thoughts and fears rose up unhindered, and she couldn't silence them with logic. Shepard opened her eyes and stared at the dimly-lit tile floor, feeling a cold chill go through her. It could be her, at some point in the future, deciding that some remote colony didn't need the resources for such a heavy defense – a colony that would then be invaded by monstrous aliens seeking slaves. She could be the cause behind another Mindoir, or something even worse. It didn't seem so far-fetched…

"Kira?" She lifted her head, watching Faith sit down next to her. "Nightmares?"

Kira smiled faintly, looking back down. "The real-life version. Like nightmares, but more truthful."

"Tell me."

Kira sighed, her eyes unfocused as her fingers picked at the grout between two tiles. "I feel like I'm balancing on the edge of an abyss," she started softly. "And to my other side is a steep hill, and climbing that hill would be _right_, and strong, and better… but so, _so_ hard." She pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs, staring off at nothing. "But falling into the abyss would be _so easy_…"

Faith ran her fingers through Kira's hair, gently resting her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. "That abyss was created by tragedy," she replied quietly, "and the hill by pain." Her fingers toyed with Kira's hair as she got more comfortable, leaning against her. "Over time you'll heal, and that path you're on will widen. That pit will fill up and the hill will level out, and you'll be able to go in whatever direction you want. It just seems hard right now, but things will get easier."

"Everything you say always makes so much sense," Shepard said as she slipped her arm around Faith's waist. "Without you, I don't think anything would ever make sense to me…"

Faith smiled and closed her eyes, focusing on the sensation of Kira's fingers tracing patterns on her back. "You just need another perspective, that's all… You're so hard on yourself. I just have to remind you what I see."

"I don't think anyone sees me the way you do."

Faith chuckled softly. "Maybe not. But people here think a lot of you. And they're impressed with how you handled that hard decision."

"I'm worried about how I'll handle future hard decisions…"

"I'll be your moral compass, Kira – I'll tell you when you're about to go too far. You don't have to worry."

Kira smiled – the only scale she ever needed to measure herself against was Faith's, and so long as she kept on the right side of that… things would be alright.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for the long gap between chapters; the holidays have been a bit hectic and I haven't had any downtime. But hey, here I am getting a chapter up a day after my 25th birthday, so I'm off to a good start this year!_

_Review Replies:  
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_**bluemarlin:** No worries about that, I'll be continuing this story.  
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_**JadeDragonMTR: **Thanks! All the action so far has been a bit fragmented, but later scenes will be longer and more cohesive. As for Miranda, I've got big plans for her.  
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_**SPACER8000:** I think Shepard is just glad to be done with those people, but they'll probably be taught a lesson when they see she's the first human Spectre. As for Miranda's pre-ME2 life, I'm going to be including a lot more of that starting next chapter, as our timeskipping slows down.  
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_**Cauldron666:** No kidding. I hate that demon; with any luck, Buffy will slay it before it gets to me. XD  
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_**SleepyWerewolf:** I'll probably check out some ME stories soon, though I don't want to end up stealing from good ones. XD Man, I've put off sleep to read sooo many times, so it feels great whenever I hear that someone else did for something I wrote! Thanks!  
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_**SerketLily:** This will continue. I refuse to abandon!  
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_**Mysterious 'Guest':** Thanks! I'm a big "main character" guy, so Shepard will be the focus - so it's a good thing you like her. XD  
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_**cellester:** Thank you! Yeah, I love biotics (of course, I'm a big Star Wars nerd, so there you go), and it annoys me that Shepard never does cool biotics stuff in cutscenes, so I'll be fixing that here. XD  
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_Wow, look how many more reviews I have - thanks to everyone who's reading, and a special thanks to all reviewers! Don't hesitate to tell me anything you would like to see happen, or what you're hoping for more of, or what you do or don't like. From this point on chapters will be longer and less fragmented, meaning we get into a lot more detail and actual story. Hope you enjoy what's coming!  
_


	4. Chapter 4: Alliance

_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Kai Leng would have died during the first confrontation with Shepard so no one would have to see him again._

**Chapter 4: Alliance**

_May 7__th__, 2174_

Amber eyes opened. She was cuffed to a chair in a dark room, with a bright light shining directly in her face. _How cliché, _she thought as she blinked to clear her vision.

"Gunnery Chief Shepard," a man said, drawing her attention as her eyes adjusted. He had dark hair and well-kept facial hair, and a pad that he set down on a desk between him and Shepard. He let out a low whistle. "You're moving up the ranks pretty quickly, aren't you? GC at the age of twenty… How do you do it?"

"I take out scum like you," Shepard responded, testing out one of the cuffs a little.

"Of course," the man said with a chuckle. "And lately, you've been going after our organization, haven't you?"

"You're working with the batarians." Shepard's eyes seemed to shine in the light. "You're helping them to set up another attack, and that's why I'm here."

He raised an eyebrow. "To get yourself captured?"

"No," she said as she glanced over his shoulder, "to get everything off your computers."

He looked behind him as the screen mounted on the wall began flashing, showing an intrusion. "Shit!" He held a hand to his ear. "Get security together, there's a-" He was cut off as he was suddenly and violently yanked over the desk, his head hanging off the side that Shepard was on.

She smiled down at him as her biotics held him in place. "Thanks for bringing me to your office. I had no idea you'd be _this_ helpful." She threw a knee up into the back of his head, knocking him unconscious. She then used her biotics to drag his body into her lap and take his keys off his belt. After unlocking the cuffs she threw his body off of her and stood up, rubbing her wrists as she stepped around his desk and pressed a hand to the wall panel, causing the door to slide open.

Faith stepped through the doorway, smiling and kissing her. "I hope they weren't too rough on you."

"He didn't even get to start," Kira assured her as she stepped aside. "How long will it take?"

Faith moved past her and set her small laptop on the desk, plugging it into the man's computer and beginning to access it. "Oh, not long – a couple minutes. Which I'm sure we have."

"I take it that Roland's in position, then?" Faith smiled, bringing up the comm chatter on the man's computer, which was filled with confused men shouting about being trapped or down. Kira smirked. "Leon's doing his thing, too."

Faith nodded. "He and Garret are in the security hub. They're causing all kinds of chaos. Honestly, I don't think anyone here has a clue what's going on."

"Then everything's following the plan."

"It was risky, but it worked."

"Where's Rade?" Kira asked, before shutting her eyes and lifting a hand as an explosion in the hall nearly blinded her. "Nevermind."

Janus Rade – the team's soldier and heavy weapons expert for the past year – walked out of the smoke, brushing ash from her blonde hair. "I _told_ him to get out of the way, I swear." Considering Rade's… fondness… for explosives, Shepard didn't really believe her, and her look showed it as the blonde held up her hands. "Okay, maybe I wasn't as convincing as I could have been."

"I'm sure you tried your best," Shepard said sarcastically, taking the earpiece that Faith handed her and inserting it. "Everyone doing alright?"

"If you mean all of _us_, yes," Garret responded over the comm. "If you're asking about _them_, then uh… not really."

"Good to hear. Roland, are you holding position well?"

"They're sitting ducks, ma'am. These splinter groups have no discipline."

"To be fair," Leon interjected, "neither do we. Personality-wise, anyway."

"I'm not aiming for their _personalities_."

"Point taken."

"Done," Faith announced, unplugging the cable and shutting her laptop. "Lot of data here."

"Too much to transfer remotely?" Kira asked.

"Unless you want to stay here for an hour, yes."

"Good call on bringing the laptop, then. We'll bring the data to the Alliance the traditional way: by hand."

Rade turned and drew the rifle from her back. "In that case, we need to punch our way out of here, then."

"We've got the exit cleared as planned," Garret responded. "Making our way there now."

"I shut most of them in their barracks," Leon added. "By the time they get reinforcements we should be gone."

"Good," Shepard replied, following Rade with Faith right behind her. "Roland?"

"Moving position, ma'am. It may take me a bit – they've got a mech."

"Oooh," Rade looked back at Shepard with wide eyes.

Shepard sighed. "We're on our way. Garret, Leon – get to the exit and hold it, we need to get to extraction as fast as we can."

"Understood."

The three made their way to Roland's position – he was holding the main hall of the building, having been preventing the main force from getting to any of the others. Now he himself was pinned down on a balcony as a soldier piloting a heavy mech was unloading a lot of ammunition in his direction. Exiting on to the same balcony, the three knelt down behind Roland's cover with him. "Five hostiles with him," he said, glancing over their cover. "Two to the left – one with a sniper and one assault – and three on the right, two assault, one heavy."

Shepard nodded. "Alright – Faith, lock that mech's weapons for a moment, then take out the two on the left with biotics. Rade, you're going over with me and circling to the right – draw the attention of the three soldiers there. Roland, take out the heavy at the first opportunity, then get ready for your shot on the mech pilot. I'm on the mech. Everyone understand?" Receiving three nods, Shepard suddenly vaulted over the railing, with Rade right behind her. The mech targeted them, but its guns whirled without firing, beginning to smoke as Faith overheated them.

Though she had always been a loner, Shepard trusted her team, and so she took off running directly at the mech in full view of all hostiles. To her right, the heavy stepped forward with a launcher only for a heavy round to shatter his helmet and put him down. Rade split off from Shepard, moving to the right and opening fire on the two assault soldiers there, gunning one down and forcing the other into cover. To her left, the sniper who was lining up a bead on Shepard was interrupted by a sudden pulling sensation; a Singularity appeared between him and the soldier nearby, lifting them into the air and spinning them, disorienting them too much for them to do anything.

Shepard leapt into the mech with a yell, slamming it with such biotic force that it stumbled backwards. She landed in front of it, catching Faith's warping ability detonating her own singularity and sending the two soldiers to her left flying in different directions, obviously down. To her right she caught Rade's grenade landing at the foot of the remaining soldier, giving him only a moment before he was killed by the explosion. And in front of her, she saw the mech pilot's eyes showing a hint of fear. He raised the mech's guns, but Shepard was already raising her hands – and the mech was lifting into the air.

Pain shot through Kira's body and every muscle strained, including her mind; an intense headache rushed into existence. But none of it stopped her as she lifted the mech above her and both hands visibly glowed. With a rising yell Shepard began to spread her hands apart and a crack split down the center of the mech's viewport. The pilot was hitting every button in view, but none of them could stop what was happening. Sparks flew, metal groaned, and glass shattered as the front of the mech began to tear in half. The intense stress on it was finally too much – the center of the blast shield cracked apart, and the very moment that an opening presented itself, a heavy rifle round blasted in through the hole, shredding the pilot's head.

Shepard released a growl and dropped the mech, an impact that caused the room to shake. Her breathing was heavy as she turned to find her team staring at her. "Exit," she ordered, taking a step in that direction. Faith and Rade were at her side in no time, helping her go faster as Roland ran point for them. They met up with Garret and Leon at the exit, and all six were at the shuttle as it arrived. As it took off and made its way out of orbit, Rade gave Shepard an impressed look. "Remind me not to piss you off, boss."

Faith grinned, sitting beside Shepard and taking her hand. "Your powers are getting kind of crazy, love."

"I'm not the only one," Shepard said with a smile. "You acted really quickly in both hacking _and_ combat – and I noticed that singularity was even bigger than normal."

Faith beamed. "I was hoping you'd notice! I've been working on taking out more people at once."

Garret chuckled. "Considering how often we're outnumbered, _I'm_ thankful for that."

"Combine that with your charging and we can take out a whole roomful at once," Leon suggested.

"Everyone did well today," Shepard said. "Roland held off a virtual army, Rade is better to have than a tank, Garret cleared paths in seconds, and you, Leon – is there anything tech-related that you _can't_ control?"

"I'm sure there's _something_. No, nevermind – there's not."

Shepard chuckled. "Good. At the rate we're improving, we'll be the Alliance's A-team within a few years."

Leon raised his hand. "I call Mr. T!"

"Not what I meant…"

Faith smiled at her. "Should've seen it coming. You're the only one here that takes everything seriously."

Kira ran a hand through her hair. "As long as we keep performing this well, that's alright with me."

Mass Effect

Shepard yawned as she dropped into the chair, leaning her arms on her knees and grinning through her crimson hair at the officer that sat across the desk from her. He seemed unimpressed, and his expression was both stern… and reluctant. "Your methods," he began, "are questionable at _best_."

Kira cocked her head. "Buuuut…?"

He sighed, lifting a hand to rub his forehead. "_But_, your results speak for themselves. Nothing will change."

"Uh-huh." Shepard smirked, standing up.

"Don't make me regret my decisions, Shepard."

"No worries." She paused at the door, glancing back over her shoulder. "Regret is _my_ business; I don't share it." She opened the door and stepped out into the hall, and Faith pushed off the wall, smiling.

"That was quick."

"I think he's given up yelling."

"Realized it's no use, huh?"

"Yeah, I don't really change."

"For him, anyway." Faith walked in front of her, turning to face her with a smile. "Lunch?"

The mess hall was crowded, because it was _always_ crowded. Being on a major ground base wasn't something Shepard really _enjoyed_; it was tolerated. She couldn't wait until her team was sent out again, or stationed on another ship somewhere, or hell, even groundside on some colony. She liked being around people she knew and trusted, not strangers – even if they _were_ all military. Still, she tended to go where Faith wanted to, even if it was the most crowded spot on the base.

Faith was the reason Shepard trusted _anyone_; they'd been together for around four years now, and in that time she'd shored up a lot of the damage Shepard's heart and mind had taken. Her help and military life had enabled her to get a hold of her inner violence, and she only rarely broke down these days. Kira was growing stronger, and she was able to trust – and even like – her team, and Faith was the only reason. Rare was it that anyone saw them apart, but they weren't given any grief about anything thanks to their reputation.

After following Faith through the food line, Shepard followed her to a table and sat, shutting out all the conversation around her. She noted that they'd sat with their team, and when she picked out her name she responded with a simple greeting, but she didn't bother joining the discussion or looking up from her food. She just got like that sometimes, closing off from everything – it was another reason she preferred spending time with people she knew, as they had learned about this behavior and didn't bother her whenever she did it. Instead they continued on normally, leaving her out – except for Faith's hand on her knee, but Shepard didn't mind that detail.

For her part, Faith didn't mind or worry when Kira "shut off", as she put it. She'd learned years ago that it had nothing to do with anything that was going on or anything being wrong; it was just something Shepard needed to do every so often. Faith doubted she'd ever be completely social, but it was something she liked. As usual, she kept an eye on Shepard (just in case she was needed), but mainly just talked with the others normally. "None of the officers really know how to react to us these days," she said with a shrug, responding to something Garret had said.

"Right? But I've been thinking…" He leaned forward conspiratorially, forcing the others to do so as well in order to hear his lowered voice. "We're different… So when do we get a unique name? I've got ideas."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Do you really think that's necessary?"

"It is if we wanna be cool. What do you think about 'The Wild Cards'?"

"Do we each get named after a card?" Leon asked. "Because if so, I call Joker. And midnight toker."

"That's not a – fine. But I'm the Ace."

Rade laughed as she joined the table with Roland. "You really think you're our squad's Ace?"

"Not likely," Roland muttered gruffly.

Garret looked hurt. "Fine – who _is_ our Ace, then?"

Faith raised an eyebrow. "You really have to ask?"

Garret glanced at Shepard, noticing she probably wasn't even listening to the conversation. "Alright, Ace is taken then. So what are the rest of us?"

"You can be Jack," Leon offered.

"If we're doing this, I'm Six," Roland said without pausing his eating.

"Why?"

"Reasons."

"Right… Reasons," Garret said, letting it go. "Rade?"

She thought for a moment before smiling. "Nine. It's my brother's jersey number back on Earth."

"Makes sense."

"Faith's the Queen," Shepard stated without looking up or pausing her eating, drawing everyone's attention to her – which it wasn't clear if she noticed.

Faith smiled, kissing her shoulder before nodding at the others. "Works for me. Any objections?"

"No, no," Garret agreed with a glance between her and Shepard. "No arguments here."

Rade snickered. "Bet you'd be scared of a _rabbit_."

"Only if it can rip a mech in half with its mind."

"The man's got a point."

Mass Effect

Miranda slammed the door shut and locked it before slumping against it, slowly sliding down to sit on the floor. She kept a hand pressed to her arm to stem the flow of blood and rested her head against the door, closing her eyes as she listened to footsteps outside rushing past. She'd broken the line of sight just in time – she wasn't sure how much longer she could have kept running. Releasing her arm she reached up to the door handle and used it to pull herself up, stumbling to the bathroom and ripping a towel off the rack. She didn't know whose apartment she was in, but that sort of thing rarely mattered at times like this.

She left the towel on the sink and moved into the kitchen, grabbing a knife, a bottle of the first alcoholic drink she found in the cabinet, a handful of napkins, and liquid soap. She went back into the bathroom and turned on the light and the faucet, using the knife to make a cut in her sleeve before tearing it off. She splashed water from the sink over her arm, cleaning the area. She then stuffed part of the towel in her mouth and held it in her teeth, sliding the point of the knife into her wound. She hissed into the towel, clenching her jaw tightly as she slowly worked out the metal round buried in her arm. It dropped into the sink, joining the blood there.

Miranda allowed herself a moment to collect herself to prevent blacking out, then poured the whiskey into and over the wound, thankful that the towel muffled her scream. Once that was done she used the knife to cut a strip from the towel, then wadded up the napkins, wet the top layer with whiskey, and pressed the wad of napkins tightly to the wound. She then tied the strip of the towel around her arm, pulling it tight by putting one end in her teeth. After she was finally done she looked in the mirror, taking in her haggard appearance.

Normally, she was a consummate professional – but no one had foreseen her father's men finding her now, of all times, while she was in the middle of a Cerberus mission. She was twenty-four now, and had hoped the passing years meant her father had given up completely – but the thing with her sister seemed to have started it all over again. Everything had gone wrong this week, and now she was just trying to survive until she could contact The Illusive Man. She washed all of her blood down the drain and off the knife, then threw the part of the towel she'd bit down on under the faucet and left it running.

Her time was running out now – she left the bathroom and went into the bedroom, searching through the closet and grabbing a black trenchcoat to hide her outfit and injury. After putting it on she went back to the kitchen / living room area and crabbed a large carving knife, stabbing it into the largest bare wall. After a minute she'd finished carving: "TIM – Raven, Wounded Wing, Empty Nest." She then dropped the knife and moved to the center of the room.

"Sorry," she whispered to the apartment's missing owner, closing her eyes and summoning her biotic power. Everything in the room shattered, flew around, scattered around the room and smashed against the walls, and even the windows were blown out. She desperately hoped that whoever owned the apartment was only out for the night. She opened the door and jammed it open, then took off.

Mass Effect

Faith stretched lazily, groaning as her joints popped. She sat up in bed, blinking in the early-morning sunlight and smiling – it wasn't often that they were put in hotels, and she knew how to enjoy it. She looked over at the person she was sharing the bed with, who was of course already awake, sitting on her half of the bed absent-mindedly eating eggs as she watched the screen on the opposite wall. "Good morning," she said with a smile, leaning across Kira and kissing her on the cheek as she took a plate from the tray beside the bed. "What are you watching?"

"Local news," Kira answered, taking her eyes off the screen long enough to give her a faint smile.

"Anything interesting?" Faith asked as she bit down on a bagel. "Not bad for room service…"

"If weird is interesting," Shepard said with a shrug. "Some sort of cult activity, they think."

Faith raised an eyebrow. "What, like sacrifices and chanting monks?"

"Nothing that crazy. Just a weird break-in; the victim wasn't home and is in protective custody since they were likely the target."

"What's so cult-y about a break-in?"

Kira rewound the broadcast to a specific part. "The strange message on the wall."

Faith leaned forward as Kira paused it. "Wow, carved in – talk about dramatic." She squinted at the screen. "Wounded wing…? Empty nest…? What kind of cult is bird-related?"

Shepard shrugged. "Never said I knew what it meant."

"This kind of thing happened all the time on Earth," Faith said as she leaned back. "There are crazy people _everywhere_. I bet it doesn't mean anything at all."

Mass Effect

Faith sighed, leaning against a wall and looking up at the night sky from between the buildings. The alley she was in was slightly cleaner than average, so that was a plus – but she was as bored as could be. Everyone had split up, searching for some guy. She hadn't really listened too closely – she knew what he looked like and knew he was bad news, and that was enough. Mostly things consisted of walking around in boredom and asking people if they'd seen him. It was supposed to be a training exercise that improved certain non-combat skills; instead, it was nothing.

She missed Kira's company. She wondered what her girlfriend was doing at the moment; if she was having any more luck, or if Kira was as bored as she was. But Kira was far more serious, and was probably taking her duties seriously at the moment; she rarely let that drop unless she was being cocky or, sometimes, when they were alone. Faith snickered, wondering what the rest of their team would think if they knew how their leader could be behind closed doors. She was about to give in and contact Kira when she heard someone stumble into the alley. She pushed off the wall and pulled out her pistol. "Who's there?"

In front of her stood a woman around her age with dark hair, wrapped in a too-large trenchcoat and obviously injured. Faith lowered her gun and hurried to her, supporting her. "Are you okay?"

"After me…" the woman said, looking back over her shoulder.

Faith looked up and narrowed her eyes, watching a group of armed men enter the end of the alley. "Hide someplace safe."

"I can still fight!" The woman straightened up and Faith helped her lean against a building, looking her over.

"Alright, well, do you have a weapon?"

"Biotics."

Faith smiled. "Then let's do this." Without warning she raised her pistol and fired, sending a round straight into the head of the first guy. The other four immediately spread out as much as they could and returned fire, but they had little room to maneuver in the alley and no cover. Faith and the woman, however, were behind a thick dumpster, safe whenever they ducked behind it. "I'm Faith, by the way," Faith said with a smile, leaning out to use biotics to lift one of the men into the air.

The woman stood and used her own biotics to slam the man back down into the street. She then ducked back behind cover and looked at the other girl for a short time; she was obviously Alliance military, but she didn't seem like she'd be a threat to the mission. "Miranda," she responded.

"Really? I had a friend with that name back on Earth. But… let's hope this doesn't end the way that did." She slid out into the open, overheating all of the enemies' weapons. She then created a singularity that drew all three into it and suspended them together in the air, allowing her to unload until her own pistol overheated from the stress. Miranda then stepped out and performed a biotic push that threw all three out of the alley; it wasn't likely that any of them would be coming back.

Miranda then leaned against the wall again, checking her injuries for renewed bleeding as she caught her breath. Satisfied that she wasn't currently dying, she looked back at Faith. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"I'm Alliance," Faith said with a wink. "It's what I'm _supposed_ to do."

Miranda considered the statement. "Do you really think that's where you can benefit humanity the most?"

Faith shrugged. "It's the big one, right? I mean, I'm not into politics."

"But there are other organizations. Other options."

"Yes, but my girlfriend picked this one."

"Ah…" Miranda smirked. "Sounds like you have your priorities figured out."

Faith smiled. "I know what's important. I enjoy this work, I find it fun, and most importantly, it allows me to work with Kira."

_Alliance unit, Faith and Kira… _"Shepard?" Miranda asked, drawing a look of surprise from Faith.

"You've heard of her?"

"I've… heard of your unit," Miranda responded, deciding _not_ to tell her that Cerberus kept tabs on all Alliance Military personnel that were candidates for recruitment. Both Faith Victus and Kira Shepard were on that list of candidates… "What if I said I had a job opportunity for _both_ of you?"

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Really? Well, I suppose if we're both invited… What is it?"

"It's the greatest opportunity for advancing humanity's place in the galaxy, and protecting humans and human interests."

"Human-focused?" Faith gave her a cautious look. "Sounds a bit bigoted."

"Humans are behind in the galactic game," Miranda countered. "We aren't anti-alien, we're pro-human; there's a difference. We just want to help humanity achieve its potential. Surely you've noticed how the other races ignore humanity's needs? Not allowing a place on the Council, no human Spectres, limiting our military, leaving our outer colonies to fend for themselves and not helping when they're attacked? Some of the races even _attack us specifically_."

Faith looked at the ground, thinking about what had happened to Kira's family. "You make sense…"

"It's not just that, either – this organization is secret, but exciting. And the amount of freedom you get is incredible; very few times do you get direct orders."

Faith smiled a little. "She'd like that part, for sure… Maybe I'll bring it up."

"I'll get in touch with you at some point," Miranda assured her. "Right now I need to get out of here before more of those guys show up."

"Oh, right," Faith said as she snapped out of her thoughts. "Do you need help?"

"You've helped me enough." Miranda pushed off the wall, continuing down the alleyway and glancing back over her shoulder. "Think about what I said."

Faith watched her until she disappeared around the corner, and then sighed, contacting Shepard to report what had just happened and the men she'd killed. _Humanity's interests…_

Mass Effect

Miranda grunted as she climbed into the transport, falling into her seat with a sigh – finally, she'd be able to get some rest.

"You're pretty creative," her pilot said as the shuttle took off. "Still, TIM isn't exactly elated about you sending a message over the news."

"It'll be fine," she assured the man as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "People only see what they want to see."

"I guess that's how Cerberus works."

"Working from behind the scenes to do what must be done," Miranda said, parroting something TIM had said to her once. "It doesn't matter; he was going to be angry either way."

"Since you're the only one I'm picking up, I could guess that your mission didn't go as well as hoped; unless it was solo."

"It wasn't solo," Miranda said, staring out the window. "The mission was a failure. Everything that could have gone wrong did."

"What happened?"

"You know better than to ask about others' missions," Miranda reprimanded, getting a chuckle and a 'backing off' gesture from the pilot. "He will debrief me, and he's the only one that need know."

"Man, you're Cerberus to the bone, aren't you?"

Miranda didn't bother replying, instead going back to looking out the window. _Cerberus to the bone_. She sighed. Part of her did wish she was in the Alliance with people like Faith; their work was full of passion, emotion and investment. Cerberus felt so cold most of the time, so clinical. It was all about statistics and duty. Faith was a soldier – Miranda was a tool. Still, TIM gave her a great amount of freedom, and he rarely gave her orders – he usually told her what outcome he wanted and she made it happen. She couldn't get that kind of freedom within the Alliance military.

They also couldn't protect her from her father, hide her from his grasp – or keep her sister hidden. No, she'd made the right choice – the only problem was that, sometimes, she wasn't so sure that it _was_ a choice.

Mass Effect

Faith sat in the hotel room watching Shepard out of the corner of her eyes. Their team had managed to get their target, though Faith had never seen him – she still had the most action. However, her thoughts were currently on the moments following said action, and now seemed like the perfect time to bring it up. "Kira? Have you ever thought about… leaving the Alliance military?"

Shepard paused in her packing, straightening up and frowning at Faith. "You want to leave?"

"Well…" Faith sat up on the bed. "I don't know. That girl, Miranda, said she worked for some secret organization. Apparently they're really pro-human and they do a lot of exciting secret missions, with a lot of freedom."

Kira folded her arms and leaned a shoulder against the wall. "Does that sound like something you want to do?"

Faith sighed. "I don't know. I guess I like having it as an option. The Alliance is… it's fun, you know? And I like our team. But this is something I like to think about."

"If it's what you want to do, I'll do it," Kira said, drawing a smile from Faith. "I just think the Alliance needs us. And people need us – people like you and I were."

"You're right." Faith got off the bed and walked over, sliding her hands over Kira's shoulders and smiling as she felt the arms encircling her waist. "I like that you'd be willing to come with me, though."

Kira kissed her softly. "Of course I would. You're my top priority."

"That's what I said…" Faith caught her lips again, pulling her into another kiss that grew deeper the longer it lasted. After a full minute she slowly pulled back, looking at Shepard with half-lidded eyes. "Mmm… How long until we have to go?"

Kira smirked. "One hour."

"We can pack in two minutes, right?" Faith said, smiling as she pulled Shepard towards the bed.

"If not, they can wait."

* * *

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reading this! First of all, I'd like to ask that if you like my writing and don't want to wait entire weeks between getting more, I have two completed original stories (140k words each!), one of which is also femslash, on Fiction Press; you can find them at the link on my profile here._

_Now, on to the reviews - super special extra ultra uber thanks to reviewers, your medals are in the mail!*  
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_*There may not be any medals.  
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_**Panthour**: Goody-goody is out! Renegade4Life, man! Glad you like Faith - I find OC's are often hit-or-miss, but I thought Shepard needed a companion throughout these parts of the story, too; Shepard is about the people around her just as much as herself. Where will Miranda fit in? Oh, you'll see... And yeah, third-person is a million times better than first, but I write in Third-Person Omniscient, which is the best of both worlds.  
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_**SerketLily**: Glad to write another chapter. Pretty sure I'm having more fun writing this than anyone is reading it. xD  
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_**SleepyWerewolf**: Reading fanfiction at midnight explains why you're sleepy. XD  
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_**Madd Robot**: Ha! Akira! Man, that comparison makes this seem even more awesome. Thanks for the compliments - hope you keep enjoying it.  
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_**Ciborn and Ciborn again**: You get so many points for that exclamation, you don't even know. Thanks! As for your other questions, allow me to answer them below, for both you and others._

_**ANYONE INTERESTED IN HOW THIS STORY WILL GO COMPARED WITH CANON, READ THIS, UNLESS IT'S COMPLETED BY THE TIME YOU'RE READING, IN WHICH CASE YOU'LL KNOW ALL OF THIS JUST BY READING THE STORY**: Sorry for that, I tend to ramble. Yes, this is all tied into canon, although I will be deviating from canon quite a bit later to include all sorts of storylines and incidents that_ could _have happened_ _if the games were hundreds of hours long. I'll be branching off in different directions starting in ME1, and I already have a big plotline planned to take place during ME3; if I just stuck with canon, I'd just be telling everybody what they already saw when they played it themselves, and that seems a little pointless. So no, despite the fact that I am one of the three people that actually liked the canon ending(s), you don't already know how this story will end - I will not simply be telling you which color ending Kira Shepard picked. As for what the ending will be, you'll have to read it yourself - but I promise I will do my best and spare no effort to make sure that the ending I go with is satisfying, fits the tone of the story, and is well-explained.__  
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_Alrighty, I think that's it. Thanks again to all those who read, and a special thanks to those who review. If you've got any comments, questions, advice, criticisms, worries, complaints, or ideas that you'd like to see, please leave a review!  
_


	5. Chapter 5: Time Changes Everything

_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Kai Leng would have died during the first confrontation with Shepard so no one would have to see him again._

**Chapter 5: Time Changes Everything**

_October 28, 2174_

The mission had gone well for most of it. Shepard's team was part of an important ground strike on a base, along with another squad. She led her team as she always did, well and with ferocity. They knew their jobs and they got them done. Shepard walked in through a door Leon got open as if there wasn't a care in the world, beginning to outline what everyone's part was… until the alarms went off.

They all looked around and Shepard glanced at Leon. "Find out what's going on."

It didn't take him long to get into the system, and after that his face paled. He was reluctant to speak, but Shepard's gaze was too hard to ignore. "It seems our allied squad tripped… well, _all_ of the alarms. Apparently they caused an explosion."

"They _what_?!" Everyone's eyes went to Shepard as an expression of anger overtook her features. "This is supposed to be _quiet_. We were _told_ that if this guy knows we're coming he'll take off! What the hell are they thinking?!"

Faith sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I guess they aren't." She glanced at her own Omni-tool. "It looks like they're fighting. All tact is lost."

Garret looked to their leader. "Well, what do we do? They're gonna have all the security of this place coming-"

"Then they can deal with it." Shepard pointed at Faith. "Get us a map of this place and pick out the fastest route to his exit point." She looked to Leon. "I want every door in our way open before we get to it. Don't make me slow down." She then looked to the others. "We're taking out everyone in our path the moment we see them. Try not to let them get a warning or alarm off."

Rade shouldered her assault rifle. "Guess we're goin' in hard now."

"Hard, fast and direct." Shepard turned and started walking, with Faith directing her. "They can keep all the security distracted."

"If they die," Roland muttered, "It's their own fault anyway. Told them it was quiet. We had it all planned out."

No one had any argument. The other squad began contacting Shepard for assistance but she showed no change in attitude. "Negative," she responded. "Continuing to mission objective."

"We need help, Shepard!"

"Then you should have followed the damn plan." Shepard cut contact, deciding they were better off having nothing to do with that squad. Their path was more clear now, and they would get the objective done despite having to deal with idiots, she was certain.

The team moved at a constant pace, passing through doors just as Leon opened them. When they encountered resistance it was put down in seconds. Roland put a round through a head, Leon hacked weapons or shut down alarm systems, Rade blasted someone off their feet, Garret slammed someone into a wall, Faith suspended a few helplessly, and Shepard just tore them apart. They went through room after room until they reached the landing pad just in time to see a shuttle taking off.

Shepard had no intention of letting that go; she stood on the platform looking up as the shuttle rose overhead. "Rade."

"Got it, boss," the blonde said with a grin, raising her rifle and firing a grenade from its secondary barrel. The projectile's explosion took out one of the engines, forcing the shuttle into a spin – the shuttle's pilot had to shut off the thrusters and rely strictly on the Mass Effect Drive to steady the craft. As soon as the craft was steadied and before the pilot could compensate, Roland's shot penetrated the cockpit and the pilot's skull.

Garret stepped up. "Faith?"

"Go for it!"

He took a running start and performed a biotic charge, feeling his momentum being amplified and directed by Faith's biotics lifting him. He landed on the top of the shuttle and watched as Leon accessed its systems and opened the door, allowing him to slide inside. The scientist – their target – inside the shuttle had a look of surprise and terror, and Garret just grabbed him with a grin and fell back out of the shuttle. Faith's singularity slowed their descent to the ground and the scientist looked around wildly. "Release me or you'll all die!"

Leon ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen, dude."

The scientist stood only to see that his 'secret weapon' – the four large turrets hidden all around the landing platform – were all aiming at the sky, groaning and smoking as they struggled to target the team. His eyes then fell on the glowing Shepard, who gave a final twist of her hand that rent the metal supports of every turret and sent the guns crashing to the ground harmlessly, sparks flying from the shorn metal. Shepard's expression was hard enough that he gave no further struggle as they took him back inside. She shoved him towards the computer. "Call off all the security." She then turned to her team as the scientist followed her orders. "Well done. I knew I could count on all of you."

It was a few minutes after they'd called for extraction that three of the other team came in, looking worn and weary. Their squad leader stormed up to Shepard in a rage. "What the hell was that back there?! We needed help!"

The other two members of his team were the only ones that noticed when Shepard's team all took a step back as she turned to face him. "We had an objective," she said flatly. "We also had a _plan_. A plan that _you_ decided to ignore. Had you followed it, you wouldn't have been in trouble."

"Things went bad – I didn't think that would happen!"

Shepard just gave him a cold look. "It's not my fault you're incompetent. Your team should get a new commander like mine did."

The man was practically seething now. "Three of my team _died_ back there."

_Now_ Shepard was starting to look angry. "And _you_ killed them. This is why not everyone is fit to be a leader – your decisions _matter_. You hold others' lives in _your_ hands. When _you_ make a mistake, _they_ pay for it. And you just killed two soldiers because you messed up. Deal with it."

Everyone's eyes then went wide, as that was when the other squad leader punched her. The ensuing biotic pulse sent everyone stumbling back, but it sent the man flying. He had barely even hit the wall when Shepard caught up, her hands wrapping around his throat and pinning him to the wall. He began to struggle, unable to breathe and trying to get her to let go, but in her eyes he saw a cold-burning hatred that told him she didn't plan on letting go at all. The more he struggled for air, the more her grip tightened. He had made the wrong move at the wrong time. The man's two remaining team members were there as soon as it was clear that she was going to kill him, but they couldn't get her off of him – her biotics shoved them away, preventing them from helping, and all the while she never blinked, never changed her expression of anger, never looked away from the man's eyes…

Until Faith appeared beside her and grabbed her arm. "Kira! Stop!" Shepard released the man immediately. He dropped to the floor coughing and choking, raggedly gasping for air as his vision slowly returned. Shepard continued looking down at him for a few more seconds before her eyes turned to Faith. "That's enough," Faith said quietly, receiving a nod in response. She then looked down at the man who was rubbing his obviously bruised throat. "Please have enough sense not to say anything else. This is over." She pulled Shepard away, back to their own team to await their pick-up.

The rest of the team didn't say anything about it and continued talking normally, but Shepard was quiet after that. There were no more problems, but it was obvious that the other squad leader wasn't going to let things go.

Mass Effect

Armand sighed, looking over the screens and papers spread out around his desk. Being a psychologist and psych evaluator for the Alliance military was tiring on the _best_ of days, but his next evaluation was looking to be the worst – this "Shepard" had the worst history of incidents he'd seen from someone that hadn't been discharged. He figured he knew how this evaluation was going to go, but it was his job, after all, so with another sigh he tapped the button to contact his secretary. "Send Shepard in now, please."

To his surprise, when the door opened a man in a very nice uniform walked in. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, glancing at one of his screens. "I'm scheduled to evaluate Kira Shepard right now." He gave the man a smile. "I'm pretty sure you're not her."

The man was obviously older than him by a good amount of years, with greying hair and a strong appearance. The man adjusted the cuff of his uniform, chuckling as he looked at the younger man. "You've got a good sense of humor; let's hope your other senses are as honed. You won't be meeting with Shepard."

The psychologist frowned. "I'm sorry? But I was scheduled-"

"Oh, your scheduling isn't wrong," the older man assured him. "You met with her today, just as planned. You evaluated her, and passed her."

"Passed?!" Armand shook his head. "Sir, with all due respect, I've got more incidents involving her than anyone else. Her violent tendencies are erratic at best and unstable at worst! She's a danger to everyone around her and in my opinion there's no way-"

"I am not _interested_ in your opinion, Armand," the man stated firmly, turning to the window and adjusting the cuff of his uniform sleeve as he appraised himself in the mirror, making sure nothing was out of place. "These are your orders, and they come from far higher than you have any ability to argue with. You met Shepard, you evaluated her, you passed her. Are we clear?"

Armand sat back, weighing his options before nodding. "Yes, sir. We're clear." He then sat forward, leaning his elbows on his desk – he wasn't a coward, and he was curious. "Can I ask _why_? Is she related to a higher-up, or…?"

The man smiled. "This isn't nepotism. Shepard _has_ no relations, as you should see in your file – everyone related to her to any extent is dead. Let's just say that we gave her our _own_ evaluation and she passed."

"You mean she's useful."

He chuckled. "Call it whatever you want. Have a good day, Armand."

The psychologist watched the older man walk out. He didn't feel right about following these orders, but he had no choice – and it wasn't as if he could change it anyway. Besides, these were the people that made the decisions – it was _their _military, he just gave his opinion. He'd done so and made it clear how he felt, so what happened next was up to them. He knew that going along with it was his only option when he watched as the incidents Shepard had been involved in disappeared one by one from his computer's records until her record was clean. He didn't know who was changing his records, but he _did_ know that he didn't _want_ to know. He let out a deep breath and gave her a "Pass" on her evaluation before deciding to take off early and get himself a stiff drink; it was best to just forget about this kind of thing.

Mass Effect

Faith woke up in the middle of the night; it was just as well, as her sleep wasn't very restful. As she always did first thing after waking up, she looked over at Kira's bed – this time, it was empty. This happened enough that it wasn't uncommon, and she got up and dressed enough to go find her. A lot of times Kira's mind just couldn't handle things anymore and she either freaked out or broke down, finding someplace alone – often the bathroom – in order to struggle with herself. Faith always found her and did what she could to help, which to her eternal gratitude seemed to be a lot. She couldn't _fix_ her girlfriend – she'd tried for years and Shepard wasn't exactly 'better' – but she could help her, make it easier, and fix individual episodes.

Seeing the girl she loved struggle with depression, rage, and even suicidal issues wasn't easy, but she never even considered that it wasn't worth it. And she made sure Kira knew that. Checking the bathroom she found it empty, as well as several other likely spots, but finally she found her in a training room, beating the hell out of some unfortunate punching bags. Faith stood back a bit and just watched her for a little while, sure that Shepard had realized her presence already.

Shepard was sweating a lot despite only being dressed in a sleeveless white shirt and dark shorts. Her crimson hair stuck to her skin as she repeatedly slammed her fists into the punching back, pouring her anger into the blows in an attempt to push it out of herself and purge her mind of rage. It wasn't working as well as she'd hoped, though; her anger just amplified itself.

Faith watched until Kira finally stopped, breathing heavily and resting her forehead against the punching bag. "You should leave," Kira said quietly, closing her eyes.

Faith just smiled. "But I like watching you work out, straining and getting all sweaty – it's sexy."

Kira opened her eyes and pushed the bag away, looking off to the side. "I mean you should leave _me_. I'm not getting any better; I'm just dangerous."

Faith pushed off the wall and walked up behind Shepard, wrapping her arms around her and sliding her hands up and over her stomach as she laid her chin on Kira's shoulder. "I'm never leaving. I don't care what you say – I don't care what's easy or hard. Darkness isn't all you are – you're also kind, and strong, and impressive, and determined, and funny, and sexy. You have to stop telling me to leave. Seriously, it doesn't work. I don't want to _leave_, I want to _marry_ you."

Shepard turned around to face her, studying her eyes. "You want to… marry me?"

Faith smiled and blushed. "Well we've only been dating for like _three years_ and I'm not tired of you yet, so I-" She was cut off as Kira kissed her, not that she minded.

Kira pulled back and looked in her eyes again. "You're sure? I mean… completely sure? Me?"

Faith laughed. "Yes, I'm sure!"

Shepard grinned. "Then let's do it."

"You mean it?" Faith beamed, but quickly gave her a wary frown. "Wait, does this mean I have to have _sex_ with you?"

Kira rolled her eyes and pushed her up against the wall. "Let me remind you what we've been doing for those three years."

Faith grinned as Shepard pinned her and started kissing her neck. "Oh, right…"

Mass Effect

_September 5, 2174_

Inter-Relay Text Chat Logs

LawBringer: Seems secure.

FaithfulAngel: Yeah, I get why you're worried someone will spy on our chat about my love life. THE HORROR!

LawBringer: It's just a habit, okay? You're the one who wanted to chat instead of mail anyway. Now what is this about?

FaithfulAngel: Oh, right – I'm getting married!

LawBringer: You're _what_?! Congratulations, when did this happen?

FaithfulAngel: Last night!

LawBringer: It's hard to imagine what she did based on what I know about her.

FaithfulAngel: Oh, haha, no, we don't do anything normally. It was just a 'we should do that' sort of thing. Frankly we're already about as married as you can get.

LawBringer: Did you celebrate at all? One of my co-workers had some sort of party.

FaithfulAngel: You didn't go?

LawBringer: I don't like many co-workers.

FaithfulAngel: Why am I not surprised? Anyway, no, there's no way Kira would enjoy anything close to a party. Although we did have our own party last night~

LawBringer: I really don't need to hear about that one.

FaithfulAngel: Aww, come on, Miranda – it was really hot!

LawBringer: I'm sure it was.

FaithfulAngel: First she pushed me against the wall

LawBringer: FAITH!

FaithfulAngel: Then she did this thing with her hands that makes me

LawBringer: [USER DISCONNECTED]

FaithfulAngel: Ahahahaha, too easy!

End of recorded log

Mass Effect

_July 3, 2175_

Faith backed up into a corner, looking at the armored soldiers that had her surrounded. She gave them a bright smile. "You guys look kind of cool, you know that?"

"You seem pretty calm for someone who's about to be thrown into a back room on a remote world and tortured," one of them said menacingly through his helmet.

"Oh, I don't think I wanna do that," Faith said with a shake of her head. "I should probably tell you guys that I'm just the distraction. What you should _really_ do is…" The door was suddenly ripped open and Shepard burst in like a tornado, sending the soldiers flying in all directions as Faith giggled and finished, "…meet my wife."

Before the soldiers could even get off the floor Shepard and Faith had picked up their weapons and held them at gunpoint. Shepard smiled at Faith. "This is the last group of them. Good job."

"So we're done here?" Faith beamed at Shepard's nod. "That means we're done on this planet!"

"Which means we get time off for your birthday next week," Shepard said, watching their own soldiers come in and start moving the captured ones out. "Anywhere specific you want to go?"

Faith grinned. "How about somewhere far away from action like this? Like the Citadel, or Illium!"

Shepard thought about it for a moment. "We've got enough money saved up since we never spend it. Either one is viable."

"'Viable'. You're so romantic with your words!"

Kira smirked. "It's _your_ birthday. You only turn twenty-one once; where's it gonna be?"

"Well I did always want to see the Citadel… And there's so much to do there, it'd be perfect!"

"Citadel it is, then."

Five days later they were on a ship approaching the Citadel. Taking time off was something Shepard didn't often do, which was one of the reasons Faith was so excited. While Faith was pressed up against the window watching their approach and the looming station, Shepard was instead watching her. She smiled every time Faith grinned at her, chuckling at her 'oohs' and 'ahhs'. She'd never been to the Citadel either, but she just didn't have the childlike awe that her wife did, so she found it a lot more entertaining to watch her – Faith's joy was her reward.

As their ship docked, Faith grabbed Kira's wrist and pulled her towards the exit, wasting no time. They made it through customs with no trouble, having left all their weapons behind – not that they would _need_ them if they encountered trouble. They'd arrived at one of the Wards, and inside was a tapestry of light and sound. Faith stood with Kira's hand in hers as she looked around, turning in a circle. "There's so much! What do we do first?"

"This trip is about you," Kira replied. "Whatever you want."

Faith looked at her. "What about you?"

Kira smiled. "All I want is to see you happy. Pick whatever does that."

Faith returned the smile and leaned up to kiss her. "But you're already here."

Kira chuckled. "Then pick something on top of that."

"Okay!" Faith turned around and grinned. "How much money do we have?"

"Quite a bit. Several years' paid on two salaries."

"Shopping it is!"

Shepard laughed as she was pulled along through the crowd of people to the first shop. As they entered, a recorded voice stated the name of a turian commander she recognized along with the statement, "and this is my favorite store on the Citadel!" Shepard scoffed at it. "What a sell-out. Who would do that sort of ad?"

"Someone unscrupulous, I'm sure."

"Didn't you say you were going to merchandise me?"

"…Yeah, but that'll be _classy_."

"You mentioned plushies."

"_Classy_ plushies."

"I don't think you know what 'classy' means."

"Doesn't it mean 'something with a great ass'?"

"My plushies are going to have a great ass?"

"Well they have to be realistic!"

"I'm just going to take that as a compliment and let it go."

"That would be wise."

They came out of the first shop with Faith holding up a small bag full of water, watching a bright blue fish swim around inside. "That thing will never survive," Kira stated.

"Shh!" Faith shot a glare at her. "Quiet, Kira, you'll scare Pemberforth J. Esquire!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The Third."

"I can't believe that of the two of us, _you're_ the sane one."

"Not sane, just saner than you."

"Alright, well your fish is apparently licensed to practice law."

"Is that what 'esquire' means? I just thought it sounded fancy."

"It can go either way."

"Good. Well, he's a fancy fish."

"Of _course_ he is."

Faith stuck her tongue out at Kira. "Pemberforth and I do not care for your sarcasm."

"Am I second to a fish now? Is that what's happening?"

"Not just _any_ fish. A _fancy_ fish. Anyway, _I_ think that since we're getting our own place, we need to make it homier."

"Alright, well in that case I welcome Pemberforth."

Faith grinned. "The mere fact that you'll say that name proves you love me."

"And don't forget it."

Mass Effect

_February 7, 2176_

_Elysium_

It was a quiet morning, and Kira and Faith had a slow day. Elysium – despite the planet's colony being only sixteen years old – was a very populous and high-traffic planet, with sprawling development and a population in the millions; this meant that their team had a lot of options for things to do, and were all out doing them along with all the other marines on leave. That left Kira and Faith to entertain themselves, which of course they had no trouble doing. After spending several hours in a private room, they finally made it outside, deciding to head to the city.

There was no early warning – as soon as the fighting began in orbit, transports were already entering the atmosphere. Everything went to chaos in minutes, and every member of the military on or near the planet got the same call – batarians. A huge force was entering from the Skyllian Verge, smashing into Alliance resistance and flooding onto the planet, targeting civilian centers. For Faith and Kira, they heard the warnings before they saw the evidence – they'd been inside a shop when they heard, and heading out onto the street they saw three shuttles coming down, unloading their soldiers – who began firing on every citizen in sight. One tossed a grenade into a store, laughing at the explosion and the screams.

Shepard's eyes filled with rage as she saw the fighting start. "Batarians." Faith heard the word she let out in a growl, but was unable to react before Kira was already off and running. Faith didn't even bother yelling after her – she just followed. Words weren't going to get through to her wife right now, so she let her own anger take over – what the batarians were doing was wrong on _every_ level.

The first batarian that saw Shepard coming opened fire, but she used her biotics to rip up a piece of rubble and block it. She wasn't wearing armor, had no shields, and only carried a pistol – but she wasn't about to stop or even slow down. She wasn't going to let those monsters keep killing. As she approached the shuttles she felt a familiar feeling – Faith had raised a barrier around her. Trusting in her wife, Shepard launched the piece of rubble ahead of her, feeling a sense of satisfaction as it smashed into a batarian, killing him on the spot. This drew the attention of others, who turned their rifles on her, but Shepard wasn't worried.

To her left, a group of batarians were suddenly thrown together and lifted into the air as Faith's Singularity formed between them; to her right, another group checked their weapons as they refused to fire, overheated by Faith's skill. That left the group ahead of her, and they didn't last long. Shepard leapt and came down in the middle of them with a biotic shockwave that threw them all into the air. She caught one in midair and yanked him back to the ground, stomping on his throat as she caught his rifle. She threw a warp into Faith's Singularity, detonating it and shattering the bones of the batarians it held. In the same movement she spun and let out a shockwave towards the group whose guns had just cooled down, scattering them. She then let out a burst of fire to kill the ones on the ground around her before tossing the rifle to her right and catching another.

Faith caught the rifle just as she arrived, skidding to a stop with her back against Kira's. The two of them let loose, firing in every direction and using biotics to defend themselves or distract or stun groups. More shuttles were arriving, but some of them were letting out Alliance troops, and more were coming in ground vehicles. The Alliance was pulling together in record time, organizing a defense utilizing every available resource; overhead the _Agincourt_ had just arrived, and they could see the explosions as it eradicated batarian ships one by one. Shepard had never been more grateful for the reliability of the Alliance Navy, but they didn't have much time to think it over.

Garret and Rade ran over to them, having arrived in one of the ground vehicles. "Shepard, Faith!" Garret slid to a stop near them. "Man I'm glad to see you two are alive."

"Can you believe this?" Rade shook her head. "These bastards are attacking _us_! _Our_ planet! Tell me we're going to kill them."

"We're going to kill them," Shepard said coldly as she and Faith tossed aside their rifles and took the Alliance weapons a soldier handed them.

"Where are Leon and Roland?" Faith asked, looking around.

"About twenty miles east," Garret answered. "They're helping with the defense there."

"Good." Shepard looked at them. "I'm going after their staging area. Moore, Rade – you two stay here and get this defense going," she ordered, listening to the comm chatter talking about the ground the batarians had already taken.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Sir!"

Kira looked to her right. "Faith-"

"I'm going with you," Faith said, giving her a determined look that said she'd take no argument.

Shepard smiled a little. "Understood. Let's get going." She looked back at the other two. "Be careful."

"Give that warning to the batarians," Rade said as she hefted a massive launcher and shouldered it.

Garret gave her an odd look before turning back to Shepard and Faith. "Don't get yourselves killed now."

"That's not my plan," Shepard assured him as she and Faith took an aircar and took off.

Minutes later they were back on foot, approaching a large building the batarians had taken over. "We're ignoring orders," Faith said quietly as she listened to Alliance transmissions.

"And?"

"Just thought it was funny."

"Elysium will not be Mindoir," Shepard said with conviction, marching right for the building's main entrance.

"Please just… don't let the revenge thing kill you," Faith pleaded. "I know what you're thinking of doing, but I've got an idea – if you're willing to listen."

Kira stopped and looked back at Faith, hesitating for a moment. She looked back at the building, clenching her fist tightly. She was being selfish… she knew that. She heard the fear in Faith's voice, and decided that there were things more important to her than revenge. She let out a sigh, forcing herself to relax as she turned to Faith. "Alright, let's go with your idea."

Faith gave a relieved smile and hugged her. "Thank you."

Kira didn't even look back at the batarian compound as she returned the embrace. "I'm not going to die," she assured her wife, "so long as you don't."

Mass Effect

Miranda felt a level of anger that was rare when it wasn't directed at her father. She watched the screen with a barely-contained rage, though on the outside she appeared far calmer. "They've never been this brazen before. A raid here or there, small attacks on remote colonies – but nothing _this_ big, look at how many there are! To make this kind of directed strike against humanity is _unforgivable_."

"The batarians have made a mistake," The Illusive Man assured her, watching his own screens in some unknown location. "Humanity is stronger than they know – they won't get away with this."

"They won't." Miranda turned back to her screen as TIM cut communications, likely to begin working on plans to respond to this. In the meantime, she felt different emotions as a camera showed footage of Alliance soldiers fighting in the streets; she recognized two of them. Kira Shepard and Faith Victus stood out easily – they had no armor and were in civilian clothes, but weren't easily mistaken for civilians. The camera cut away soon after, but Miranda's thoughts remained on them. "They're going to pay for this," she said out loud, mentally promising to put in for whatever mission The Illusive Man had planned for the batarians.

Mass Effect

The building that had been transformed into a batarian compound was a rush of activity; there were several places around the planet that they'd set up in, and each one was set up as a staging area for the districts around it. Batarians unloaded ammunition and equipment while others planned out where to direct their attacks. All of this was interrupted when the aircar came smashing through the front windows and exploded in the center of it all.

In the back of the building, batarians began funneling out and towards the front, leaving only the officers calling for aid, sending out warnings and trying to get things back under control. This process, too, was interrupted when two twenty-one-year-old women stepped in through a back door. No guns were fired; biotics were used exclusively, crushing lungs and hearts or breaking necks. Every batarian left in the back of the building was murdered without getting a shot off. When the last one was dead, Shepard contacted the Alliance with the location of the building and the information on the occupants. The Alliance gave them three minutes, which they assured those in command was enough for them to get out.

Shepard and Faith watched from a safe distance as an Alliance ship bombarded the building, killing every batarian inside. Shepard reflected on how, several years ago, that would have meant everything to her, the simple joy of seeing them die – but as she stood there, she found herself simply feeling relieved. She was relieved that Faith was still standing next to her. Part of her had wanted to just lose herself in the violence, but that part was quieted by the fear of putting Faith in that kind of danger… And even her lack of caring about her own life was shrinking, due to the pain she knew her death would cause.

Kira didn't know what to think about these changes, but when Faith smiled and hugged her, she knew she didn't regret them.

* * *

_A/N: Once again I'd like to thank everyone reading this! If you haven't yet, please check out my original stories which can be found at the link in my profile - two are complete, and one is also femslash. If you dislike my update schedule, it's a great way to have more to read XD_

_Now for review replies!  
_

**_t3HPrO:_**_ Thanks! Also, I absolutely love the Empire from Star Wars (both of them), and Cerberus has no right to be that awesome anyway. But seriously, no, I'll be doing my best to give actual explanations for everything they do - I'm planning to go far more into Cerberus' actions, politics, inner workings and goals than the games did, so hopefully you'll be happy with what you see there. As for Miranda in Shepard's love life... Just wait and see!__  
_

_**DarthCruciare:** I'm glad you like it! Your story sounds interesting, but unfortunately male Shepard annoys me. xD Yeah, see, if any of my grammar, syntax or spelling are wrong, it annoys me far more than it will anyone reading it, so I have to try and do it well. I'm sure I still have mistakes, but you can only make so many editing passes. Glad you like Faith - I'm always worried about adding in OC's; they're so hit-or-miss!  
_

_**Madd Robot:** Glad you're enjoying the story. Don't expect my ending to be any lighter or happier though - you can probably already tell this story is going to be pretty dark, and the ending will probably fit that.  
_

_**bluemarlin:** Thanks for reading, hope you liked this chapter too.  
_

_**Ciborn:** Great! Being unexpected is the best. I would also like to thank you for reading Silence In Numbers - your reviews on that made my week! I do apologize for screwing you time-wise, but I think we've all been there. It's all about priorities, right? Reading fiction is way more important than studying. *Sage nod*  
_

_**SleepyWerewolf:** Yes, yes she does. I always like when a tough, violent and dark character has a soft spot for one person; I don't know why. It can be pretty funny though. xD _

_Once again, a very special super-thanks (that's worth five normal thanks) to my reviewers! Next chapter is going to be pretty damn important, so look forward to that!  
_


	6. Chapter 6: Ashes

_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, the whole "Collectors" arc would actually make sense._

**Chapter 6: Ashes**

_December 21, 2176_

Shepard woke up, but didn't move; she never moved right after waking these days. Instead she tuned her senses to the girl sleeping against her, focusing on her weight and the sound of her breathing. Sometimes she just liked to acknowledge Faith's existence – make herself realize again just how good her life had turned out after she'd thought she'd lost everything. Faith had changed _everything_ for her – turned her entire life around. She could have gone down a far darker road, but Faith had steered her away from that.

She chuckled as her wife muttered something about 'too much light'. "That's what suns do," she said quietly, watching Faith sleepily open her eyes. "Going with 'adorable' again today, I see."

Faith let out a sound as she stretched, smiling and adjusting her head on Kira's shoulder. "You're pretty good for my self-confidence," she replied, slowly waking up. "What time is it?"

"It doesn't matter," Kira answered. "We have a slow day."

"Well then, should we even get out of bed?"

"Only if we can think of a reason."

Faith looked around their apartment and then shrugged. "Nope."

Kira smiled. "Alright then."

"Not until later, anyway – have to feed Pemberforth, after all."

"I can't _believe_ that thing is still alive."

"He's a Shepard – we're notoriously hard to kill."

"Okay, I understood _you_ taking my name, that made sense – but him?"

"He's family!"

Kira rolled her eyes. "I'm not gonna argue. Anyway, I didn't get him a Christmas gift."

"He won't mind." Faith lifted herself up on an elbow. "But where's _mine_?"

"It's not Christmas yet. Four days."

"Kiiiriiiii! We could be back on duty then! Who knows what could happen! Gimme!"

Kira chuckled. "Alright, alright. I'll give you _one_."

"Yay!"

Kira sat up and slid out of their bed, grabbing one of the presents and returning. She sat back on the bed and handed Faith the small box. "This one was pretty expensive, but I think you'll like the thought behind it."

Faith grinned. "Expensive is good!" Kira rolled her eyes again as Faith tore the paper and opened the box, finding two silver rings inside – each one had a small strip of black on one part of the ring.

"One of them's for me," Kira explained. "It's pretty incredible technology – see the black strips? If you rub your finger back and forth on one of those, then the opposite ring suddenly warms up and vibrates a little – no matter how far apart they are." She shrugged. "Quantum entanglement – I don't understand it. Anyway… I know we aren't often apart, but whenever we are, these will let us be able to tell each other whenever we're thinking about each other. Whether during a visit to a store or a mission, we'll know."

Faith slipped on one of the rings, turning it on her finger before smiling at Kira. "That's… That's really…" She sniffed and wiped her eyes with a laugh. "Stupid allergies."

Kira chuckled, pulling her into a hug. "I'm guessing you like it."

"Uh-huh," Faith laughed again. "No one will believe big boss Shepard got this kind of gift."

Kira let out a laugh. "That's how I protect my tough reputation – no one will ever believe you."

"You and your evil plans." Faith sat up. "Now I know exactly which one to give you – but I'm not getting out of bed," she said as she extended a hand, using biotics to pull a small package to her.

Kira chuckled. "Now _that's _lazy."

Faith smiled and handed her the thin present. "Okay, this… I'll be honest, I still don't know if it's a good or bad idea, but it's worth trying." She looked nervous as Kira began to open it. "It took more work than money, really – and I had help finding it."

Kira paused once the present was unwrapped, letting the wrapping fall. She leaned back against the wall, staring at the picture in her hands – the picture of a seven-year-old Kira Shepard smiling with her parents. Faith was watching her closely, trying to figure out what type of emotion this would cause – but Kira was still trying to figure that out for herself. "I thought…" She cleared her throat and started over, "Our house was demolished – there were no pictures left. I thought nothing survived."

"Like I said, it took some work," Faith said quietly. "Miranda helped me, using whatever resources she has access to, putting me in contact with people. I've been looking for something for a long time – your parents didn't exactly live on the grid. But I finally found this – apparently, they'd given a copy of this picture to a friend at one point, _years_ ago, around when it was taken. It was just a matter of learning that and then finding the person." She laid a hand on Kira's leg. "I was worried about it, but… I don't think you should forget _everything_ because of what happened. From that picture and what you've told me, you were pretty happy and… I think you should be able to remember that, Kiri."

Kira closed her eyes, swallowing hard. "We didn't take many pictures… Dad was one of those weird paranoid people, he liked being outside of everything, just living his own life. That was why we were on Mindoir, a small, quiet colony where not much happened. I grew up without many friends – not many people your age in a place that small; I didn't hate them for it, though, I just learned to do things on my own… Got used to being solitary and alone. My parents… They weren't the greatest ever, but they weren't… They didn't…" She sighed, looking at the picture. "I thought I'd never see their faces again outside of nightmares." She looked at Faith, leaning forward and hugging her tightly. "Thank you."

Faith blinked a few times, returning the embrace and letting out a relieved breath. "I was worried I'd just make you angry…"

"No," Kira shook her head, pulling back and looking her in the eyes. "Not you. I don't get angry at you – you saved me. You're my life." She smiled. "Even if I _didn't_ want to see them I'd still be happy at the effort you put in for _me_."

Faith smiled. "I'm just glad I was right… You have no idea how happy I was when I finally found that _something_ existed. I have pictures of _my_ father… You deserve a piece of your past that isn't pain."

Kira looked down at the picture. "Maybe now I can finally let go of that, since it's no longer the only thing I have of them."

Faith looked at her. "I hope so."

Kira smiled, grabbing the pouch she always carried and putting the picture inside right next to the three pictures of Faith (and one that their team had taken). "Fits pretty well…"

"Oh, I know," Faith said as she pointed to her own pouch, "I made a copy to keep for myself!"

Kira chuckled, looking at her. "Don't you have _enough_ pictures of me?"

"_Never_. Besides, you were adorable."

"Please don't start showing that around."

"It's a crime to rob people of that… But I'll let you keep your reputation."

Mass Effect

_April 22, 2177_

"_We lost all contact with the colony. We have no theories at this point in time; everything was cut off at once, no hails or distress calls. Be prepared for any kind of resistance, this could be another batarian raid."_

No matter how many times Kira read the summary line of the report, she only saw the last two words. Once upon a time (not that long ago) they would have brought only uncontrollable rage, but now those words carried with them more sadness than anything. The idea that another colony could have been through what hers had angered her more than her own memories now, and her goal was to change things for them if she could.

Beside her, Faith sat with a hand on hers, giving support – not only due to the possible nature of the mission, but because it was the first real, big mission that they were a part of. She knew Shepard was worrying about herself and what she might do, having to work with so many people she didn't know. Fortunately her entire team was there, a group of people that would support her no matter what. And there was another reason Kira was somewhat nervous – she was partly in charge of this mission. Second-in-command, technically, but to her eternal gratitude the officer above her – a man older than her – seemed competent and, as Faith put it, "like he's not an asshole".

Fortunately it didn't look like any of the soldiers were going to be a problem, and they all seemed willing to follow her orders. Still, she was glad to have her team there to back her up if anything happened. "This is a far cry from where I started," she remarked to Faith.

"What, the loner that all the teachers hated?" Faith grinned. "I've been meaning to rub it in their faces. We _really_ should."

Kira smirked. "Faith, love – I'm stronger than any of them, I'm happily married, and apparently the Alliance trusts and values me enough to put me in this position. I really don't care what any of those 'teachers' think."

"C'mon, Kiri – it's karma!"

"If karma exists, they're dead by now."

"Oooh, cold!" Faith giggled. "Okay, fine, no revenge."

The ride down to the planet was uneventful enough, but the planet's surface was a different level of uneventful; there were no noises, no people, nothing. It was as if every member of the colony had simply vanished into thin air, leaving no trace behind. The colony was a ghost town. "Creepy" was the most common descriptor amongst the soldiers, and the leaders called for them to set up camp as they decided what the next course of action was.

Faith sat down to wait for Kira, but didn't look bothered much by the circumstances. "Are you ever _not_ happy?" Rade asked as she sat across from her.

Faith smiled. "Well, you know, there are… certain things about being married to a biotic that tend to keep you in a good mood."

"What the hell does that… Oh. OH. TMI!"

"We're listening," Garret said as he dropped down next to them.

"Details?" Leon asked as he sat beside Garret and both leaned forward with interest.

Faith smirked. "You wish."

"You're right, we do."

"So you should grant us this wish!"

"Because we've been so good!"

"I'm not telling you about my sex life."

"They won't quit," Roland stated as he took a seat to complete the circle. "They have one-track minds."

"Hey," Garret began, "Lesbian sex should be _everyone's_ track."

"That's very mature," Faith said with a roll of her eyes. "Honestly, how old are you?"

"I'll have you know-"

"Discipline." Garret snapped his mouth shut at the word, looking up with the rest of them at Shepard's disapproving look. "Is that too much to ask? That my squad fit in with the rest of the unit? Or would you rather get even louder?"

"Sorry…"

"This is _serious_."

"So what's going on?" Faith asked, partly out of interest and partly to save Garret from Kira's continued ire.

Kira's eyes moved to Faith and lost their anger, though she still looked uneasy. "We don't know. There aren't any clues around, at least not any obvious ones. We're going to stay and investigate, maybe there's something in one of these homes that can clue us in." She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Honestly I was only expecting pirates…"

"Not a fan of mysteries on military missions," Garret stated.

"Neither am I. Already this mission isn't going as expected. I can only hope we find… something…" She frowned, looking over her shoulder. "This place can't just be empty…"

Though the unit searched for several hours, nothing substantial was found; it simply looked deserted, but that didn't explain the distress call. Eventually both commanders had decided their only option was to camp for the night and look at everything with a clear head in the morning.

Mass Effect

It was the early hours of the 'morning', an hour or two after midnight. The soldiers on watch were struggling not to nod off, as there was nothing to see. Most of the camp was asleep, aside from a few; the unit's commanders were still awake – Kira and the man above her sat quietly discussing their options. Faith, ever supportive and now equally interested, sat with her wife, giving her opinion when she had one. All three were uneasy, but there was nothing to react to.

On the edge of the camp, one of the soldiers shook himself awake. He'd thought he felt something, but passed it off as something he'd dreamt. But a few moments later he frowned; that small hole a dozen meters away – had that been there before? If it had, he hadn't noticed it. Deciding caution was the best course of action, he moved to investigate, standing over it and shining a light down into it. It was odd, whatever it was – some sort of tunnel? It seemed to get a lot larger inside, and he was wondering if he should get someone else… and then something moved.

Kira sighed, running a hand over her face. "If we do that we'll just be grasping at straws." She leaned forward. "I still think our best bet is-"

The scream was their only warning. All three jumped to their feet and turned towards the source of the sound, but nothing could be seen. The eruption behind them forced their attention again; two marines were killed as the thing emerged, and the camp came alive as everyone scrambled to their feet and ran from it. None of them had ever seen anything like it – a long worm-like creature with a gaping maw and wickedly sharp 'arm'-like appendages, at least a dozen meters wide and towering far above them. Its horrifying cry sent panic throughout the soldiers and the commanders immediately set to calling out orders to quell the chaos, but it was too late.

The creature came down and speared another marine with one talon and spat something across another three. The three marines coated with the substance began screaming and seemed to melt in seconds, both armor and skin sliding off as their skeletal structures weakened and crumbled. Gunfire rent the air, but the creature seemed too large to take much notice of small-arms fire. Their chances of survival were already looking grim when another of the creatures burst from the ground, catching several retreating marines as it did.

For once, Kira was at a complete loss – she looked to her superior, but his gaze was stuck on one of the beasts. "What are they…?" he muttered.

"It doesn't matter!" Kira looked at her terrified wife and grabbed her hand, starting to run. "Into the buildings!" she called out. "Get cover! Anyone with explosives, use them!" One of the creatures unleashed its acidic spit at her and she spun and covered Faith, throwing up a barrier and hoping it worked. The spray fell over them but didn't touch them and she threw it off before starting to run again. "Barrier, Faith!"

Faith, nodded, throwing away her fear and summoning a barrier, looking at Kira with determination. That feeling faded from both of them as they heard a scream and turned to see another marine coated in the acid, letting out the most disturbing sound of pure agony either had heard before she collapsed and went silent. "Oh god…" Faith had never felt more like throwing up, but Kira was yanking her towards a building, unwilling to stop for anything. The creature that had killed the marine turned to them, but Roland stepped in the way, raising his rifle.

"Don't stop for anything," he said with a soft chuckle, keeping the thing's attention as they kept running by firing round after round into its maw. "Figures it'd be something a bullet couldn't stop, he said to himself as his vision filled with acid.

Kira wasn't going to slow down. Her mind screamed at her, but there was nothing she could do and only one priority in this situation – protect Faith. Everything else came second. Leon appeared by their side as they ran, dodging acid and firing off rounds when he could. "These things aren't going to die," he said darkly. "Nothing even phases them."

"Then our only chance is to get to the evac point," Shepard said, coming to a sudden stop when one of the creatures burst out of the ground in front of them.

"You'd better go, then," Leon said as he shoved them to the side, opening fire on the beast and drawing its attention. "That's right," he said as the creature loomed over him, raising a tech shield to slow it down as it tried to get at him and watching out of the corner of his eye as Kira and Faith ran around it. He saw Faith look back at him, but there was nothing she could do – nothing any of them could do. "Come on, uh… worm-thing." He watched his tech shield flicker, beginning to fail. "You gotta be kidding me – those are really gonna be my last words?" He sighed as the shield disappeared and the maw closed down around him. "That's disappointing…"

Kira and Faith had almost made it into a building when one of the creatures burst through it, coming at them like a train. A biotic shove threw them out of its way, and as Kira spun to land on her feet and catch Faith, they saw that Garret had charged into them. He hung in their place, impaled by one of the creature's sharp talons. "Ugh…" He gripped the thing, focusing his biotics into a final punch that broke through the talon and let him fall to the ground. The creature began thrashing in pain, and Garret knew he was finished as he backed off, losing blood at an incredible rate. "Better hurry, boss… _Someone_ needs to tell people what a badass I was," he said with a chuckle before collapsing.

Kira's rage was past the breaking point, but Faith consumed her focus. Her wife was crying, and judging by the wetness on her cheeks she was as well, but there was no time – no time for _anything_. So she kept running.

"Shepard!" She turned to see Rade waving them over to a building entrance and pulled Faith over, sliding under the archway. "This is kind of bullshit, huh?"

"There's nothing we can do," Shepard responded, looking outside. The entire camp was in chaos – over half the marines were already dead, and the rest were going quickly. She couldn't spot her superior anywhere, not that leadership mattered anymore; orders were useless.

"We have to get out of here," Faith said as she looked over the camp in horror. "Everybody that we can get out…"

The building suddenly shuddered as one of the creatures – there were three now – slammed itself against the roof. "This building won't hold," Kira said.

"We can't make a run for it – it's right outside!"

"I'll give you some time," Rade said.

"No," Shepard stated firmly. "I refuse to let anyone else-"

"Got a better idea?" Rade asked; she didn't. "You've saved all of our lives dozens of times over, Shepard," she said with a grin. "Both of you. We're just repaying the favor. You two just get out of here, alright?"

Shepard hated this. She _hated_ it. But she hated more that there was no other option – either all of them died or one did, and she _had_ to get Faith out of this. "…Okay."

Faith looked as sad as any had seen her. "Rade…"

"I was never gonna die of old age anyway," the soldier assured her. "Better start running!" She sprinted outside and opened fire, drawing the attention of the beast. "Come on you ugly asshole, got a snack for ya!" As she let out round after round from her grenade launcher, Kira and Faith took off through the opening she'd made, moving from building to building. The creature lashed out at Rade and threw her off her feet, breaking a leg with the impact and sending her to the ground. Rade grunted and sat up as the creature came closer, opening its maw. Rade began activating every grenade on her belt one by one as its shadow fell over her. "Let's see if you're any softer on the inside, huh?" she said as the jaws closed around her.

Kira slid to a stop on the outskirts and cursed as she saw their vehicles had been destroyed. She turned back in time to see one of the creatures explode from the inside, tearing a hole in its side; it let out a groan and pulled back into its tunnel, but there were still two active ones left, and one was coming for them. Shepard looked between the open ground and the buildings, and decided their only option was cover. She began pulling Faith back towards one of the buildings, sprinting as fast as they could go as the ground shook beneath them. To one side one of them the creature burst back out of the ground and brought its maw down at them; Kira turned and threw out a powerful biotic blast, knocking it aside. She and Faith made it seconds later, but the screams were fading and they knew they would be the only ones left soon.

"Kira," Faith said, getting her attention. "I don't think we're getting out of this."

"No! I'm getting you out of here!"

"How?"

"I don't…" Kira began pacing, running her hands through her hair. "I don't know! There has to be a way, there _has_ to!" The building around them shuddered and she shook her head. "No… No no no, this won't happen." Blue energy enveloped her as she raised her voice in rage, "I WON'T LET THIS HAPPEN!" She raised her hands and sent her energy coursing through the ceiling, walls and supports, strengthening the building as the two creatures began attacking it.

Faith nodded, willing to fight for survival if Kira was – she would stand with her through anything. She followed her example, supporting the building against the creature's attacks. Unfortunately, once battering stopped working they began using their acid, melting away parts of the building. "Kira…" Faith dropped her arms and stepped in front of her wife. "Soon, there won't be anything to support."

Kira slowly lowered her arms in defeat, looking around at the crumbling building. "I know… I…"

"It's okay," Faith said with a smile, brushing a hand over her cheek. "Just kiss me."

Kira listened – there was nothing else she could do. Failure weighed heavily upon her, but she didn't let Faith go.

"Six years," Faith said softly, still smiling. "That's more than most get. They were pretty great, weren't they?"

Kira managed a smile. "Made everything worth it."

Faith looked down at her hand, running her finger over her ring so that Shepard felt the response from her own. "I never really got to use this much… But I guess we won't be apart again."

"Never again," Kira responded, raising her head and watching the cracks spreading through the ceiling. "I love you," she said softly.

Faith smiled and pulled her head back down, pressing her lips to her wife's. "I love you too."

There was a loud snapping sound followed by a rush of air, and the world fell down around them. Kira held Faith and covered her, and both kept a joined barrier up as long as they could until everything went black.

Mass Effect

Shepard opened her eyes. She hadn't expected to, but she had. _Faith_. She grunted, shifting the metal and stone atop her as she pressed her hands against the ground, struggling to push herself up. _Faith_. Everything hurt – her joints, her muscles, her head, her bones, her back. _Faith_. With a growl and a surge of biotics she managed to get herself on her hands and knees, starting to throw off the massive weight that had pinned her down. _Faith_. With a yell, Shepard burst free into the open air; it was still dark – she believed she'd only been out for a few minutes. As the cool air hit she felt liquid on her skin and realized she was bleeding from several places – her head, her side, her back. _Faith_. Nothing slowed her down as she began yanking the rubble in front of her away, tossing it to the side. Faith was under it somewhere, and she was the only thing that –

Shepard's reaction time was the only thing that saved her. Her barrier flashed into existence moments before the acid sprayed across her vision. As it slid away she strengthened her barrier just in time for the impact; the creature's maw slammed into her and pushed her back at a ridiculous speed, trying to bite through it to get to her. _Faith needs help - I don't have time for this! _She launched herself up onto the thing's back and rolled off, hitting the ground in a run. It turned and came after her again, and she leapt and spun in midair, throwing out a shockwave that knocked it off course and stunned it. Landing on her feet she skidded to a stop where she'd been digging before, using her biotics to lift rubble from the spot and fling it at the creature.

Her body burned like fire in protest of the heavy use, wanting nothing more than to collapse, but she wouldn't stop pushing herself. With everything she had, with the glow of blue biotic energy lighting the area, she threw everything within reach, clearing the area and keeping the creature away, forcing it back underground. She knew it would return in moments, but now was her chance; she dug with renewed fervor, frantic and desperate, until she found Faith's hand. With a burst of power she shouldn't still have she cleared the rest of the debris from Faith – but didn't lift her.

Faith opened her eyes tiredly as Kira fell to her knees beside her. "Didn't… expect to wake up," she said weakly.

Kira shut her eyes and hung her head, remaining silent for a few moments before opening watery eyes and meeting Faith's gaze. "Everything's okay now," she said in a broken voice. "I won."

"I knew you would," Faith said with a smile, moving a hand towards her; Kira caught it in hers before it found the jagged metal in the center of her stomach. "You never disappointed me, you know…?"

Kira nodded, fighting a losing battle to blink back tears. "I always tried to make you happy," she said in a whisper, not trusting her voice.

"You did…" Faith took a breath, finding it harder. "I think we've done enough," she said softly, giving a weak grin.

Kira nodded. "We can leave… Become adventurers, didn't you say?"

Faith smiled. "Yeah… No more fighting, just… exploring new places… Our life will be nothing but… Setting sail." She let out a soft breath. "Kiri…? I'm tired… Think you can wake me when our ride gets here…?"

"Yeah…" Kira laid a hand on her cheek. "Go to sleep. I'll be here."

Faith nodded, leaning into her hand. "Goodnight…"

Kira watched her slip away, along with everything that was left of herself. She gently set Faith's hand on her chest and pulled the metal free before lifting her body carefully. She began walking, but she didn't feel the steps she took; she barely felt anything as she walked, or as she sat and waited, or when the shuttles arrived. She felt nothing as she was put on a shuttle with Faith's body, but she felt something as she removed Faith's dog tags and kept them in her hand, and as her eyes remained on her face for the entirety of the flight.

Shepard didn't talk as she sat across from the grief counselor the next day; she didn't even bother looking at her. She didn't speak to anyone aside from short one- or two-word answers. As the counselor once again pressed her, she said the only two words she'd said the whole time – "Just leave." The woman sighed and finally left Shepard alone, which was all she wanted. She stood up and moved to the window, staring out into space at the planet of Akuze. She had hated Mindoir, but Akuze… she didn't know what to feel about Akuze. It was as if she'd lost any understanding of what emotions were; all she felt was chaos and instability.

In her hand she clutched the only thing that had come out of this mission – an invitation to the N7 Training Program. "Your prior successes, leadership ability, potential, and survival through the worst of disasters more than qualify you for our highest honors and training," it said. All Shepard felt was failure. As she turned her back on the planet she began crying, sliding down to sit against the wall. She pulled up her legs and sobbed into her arms, finally realizing just what it meant to lose _everything_.

* * *

_A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to get up, I've been incredibly busy. In addition, this chapter is really important - I'm still not completely happy with it, but hopefully you are. I just have this feeling it could be better, but no idea how to do so. It's also pretty short, as all chapters of this story have been (most of these chapters are around 5k words, and my usual chapters for stories are 6-7k), but I didn't want to add more to this chapter, it should stand alone. Let me know what you think._

_I would also like to remind you to check out my original stories over on Fiction Press, link in my profile here. They're better than this story, trust me! And one is also femslash if that's what you're looking for!  
_

_Anyway, time for review replies!  
_

_**surfergirl3537:** That review certainly makes this chapter pretty awkward. Trust me, it was even harder for me - but I think the story needed it. I love Faith and am going to miss her, but hopefully I can make it worthwhile.  
_

_**bluemarlin:** Glad you're liking it - as for Cerberus, since I'm planning to make them a lot deeper and more interesting in this story, expect to see their involvement in a lot of things. The batarian thing will either be next chapter or the one after.  
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_**cellester:** Thanks! Sorry I didn't update as soon as I wanted to; it really sucks I can't just spend all my time writing fanfiction. XD  
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_**Panthour:** I really liked this team; hopefully I can make the canon team as fun later on. Thank you for reading Crimson Regret, and for the comments! I'm perfectly fine with you telling me that anywhere you like XD Honestly, I don't know if this story will be as good because I think CR is the best I've ever written, but I'll certainly be trying.  
_

_**Madd Robot:** I agree with most of what you said about ME3, even though I liked the ending, except one thing - I think Shepard should die in every single ending. I don't think a happy ending should be possible at all, but then, that's just personal preference. Don't get me wrong, I love happy endings in certain things, I just don't think Mass Effect warrants one. It should always be Shepard's sacrifice saving the galaxy. Anyway, glad you're liking this story; hope you enjoyed this chapter, and it looks like you were right. XD PS - Harry Potter ending sucked like hell.  
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_**SleepyWerewolf**: Looks like your bad feeling was correct. Way to go, Han. XD  
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_**Ciborn**: Faith being in contact with Miranda will be important later, too. And yep, bad things were coming. This story will be full of lots of bad things because I am a horrible person. On that note, thanks for reading Crimson Regret! I'm glad you liked it. I never even considered curing Isabella as a serious option because that would be bullshit and invalidate the entire story. As for my characters, as you can see by this chapter, you **should** be scared - I am a harsh master. And on the ending of CR - I thought it was the ending that fit the story. Had the story been about death, then I would have ended it without the Epilogue, but it wasn't - it was about hope in spite of death. It still wasn't all sunshine and roses, though - Haruka **did** live for about twenty years or so without her.  
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_Okay, looks like that's it. I'd like to thank everyone for reading, and a special thanks as always to my reviewers! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and look forward to the next one!  
_


	7. Chapter 7: Rising Fall

_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, dialogue choices throughout the series would include things like "use biotics to fling them out the window". Oh, and two words: Biotic Blades. That is all. _

_P.S. – Pay attention to the dates in this one, otherwise you might be a bit confused. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 7: Rising Fall**

_September 14, 2170_

Kira sat at a desk in E-3's library, banging her forehead on the part not occupied by a computer screen. "I don't think that's how you use one of those." She lifted her head to glare at Faith, who just smiled in response. "Yeeees?"

"You're not helping."

"I wasn't trying to. What are you doing, training for the Concuss-A-Thon 2171?"

Kira switched her glare to the screen before her. "Just trying to get this assignment done. Why do they even _give_ us writing assignments?"

"Because they're sadists." Faith pulled out a chair and sat beside her. "I'll help – oh, the physics one. Yeah, that's a little tough, but not worth beating yourself up over."

"Honestly, I was just considering skipping it… I'm not used to this. I've never even _been_ to a school."

"That doesn't mean you can't do it!"

Kira smirked. "I'm just not one of those 'smart' people like you, Faith."

"The teachers may believe that bullshit, but _I_ don't. You're brilliant; you just haven't proven it to yourself yet."

Kira looked sideways at her. "…You really think that?"

"Of course I do." Faith smiled. "You're just putting this wall in front of yourself – you _think_ you can't do it, so you don't really try."

"I guess…"

Faith put a hand on hers. "Do you trust me?"

Kira glanced at their hands, then at her face. "…Yes."

"Then believe me."

"Alright. But no more judging my study habits – you don't know the success rate of headdesking."

Faith laughed. "It was cute, but I don't think you were getting anywhere," she said with a grin.

"Says you – it increased my IQ by nearly two hundred points."

"Did it now?"

"You came to join me, didn't you?"

"Ohh, I see – you have a very generous estimation of my intelligence."

Kira shrugged. "You're the smartest person _I've_ ever met."

"Is that why you're friends with me and no one else?" Faith tilted her head and smiled. "Do you like smart girls, Kira?"

Kira gave a small smile. "Maybe."

Mass Effect

_May 21, 2177_

Shepard's eyes opened five minutes before the alarm, as they always did. She sat up and got out of bed, heading to the bathroom for the morning rituals. Before looking in the mirror she grabbed the towel from beside it, wiping the tears from her face before starting on the other parts of her routine. In fifteen minutes she was outside with the others.

Rio de Janeiro was beautiful in a lot of ways, but Shepard ignored that for the most part; after she had arrived, as soon as her thoughts had gone to 'Faith would have liked it', she'd stopped thinking about it. She focused entirely on what she had to do. She wouldn't be getting more than three hours' sleep a night, if that, for however long this part of training lasted, but that suited her just fine – three hours wasn't enough time to start dreaming, and the grueling training sounded like she wouldn't have much time to think, which was exactly what she wanted.

Still… ignoring everything wasn't _all_ that she did; it was just the easiest thing. She wore two sets of dogtags – one around her neck (her own), and one around her wrist under her sleeve (not her own). She also kept her rings on (a wedding ring and a simple silvery one, though the latter would never perform its designed use again) when rings were allowed, and kept them in a compartment with her wallet and its pictures when they weren't. These reminders were double-edged, but she couldn't bring herself to leave behind any of them, not even for something like this.

They were given their orders and their supplies – meager food rations. Their teams were assigned; Shepard got three soldiers who seemed competent and dedicated. She didn't joke with them, and barely spoke outside of short commands, but they were willing to follow. ICT (Interplanetary Combatives Training) was harsh, and they knew it; Shepard had been told repeatedly how difficult and dangerous it was, and how honored and fortunate she was to have been recruited for it. However, the word "fortunate" never crossed Shepard's mind and she wasn't afraid of any sort of danger or challenge, so she didn't bother listening to those statements. All she wanted was to lose herself in it, and she got that.

Leading a small team through hostile territory was what Shepard was made for. She hit a few snags as she had to get used to being without her trusted team and not having Faith's influence, but there was no risk of failure for her. Her team was pushed hard and fast – they had little food, slept only two or three hours a night, and fought fiercely when it was required. Shepard rarely allowed breaks, but she still didn't get any complaints.

As she sat a short distance away from the others during one of the rare breaks, she examined the surrounding area closely, picking their next route – and she listened. Luck apparently _had_ favored her for one thing – her team was happy with their assigned leader. One mentioned he was glad they hadn't been put with someone that didn't take it seriously; another said that after the experience, he might even qualify for the training himself, which got a laugh. Despite the harsh pace, they were still in a fairly good mood – but that meant nothing to Shepard. All she cared about was succeeding; she couldn't fail. She _couldn't_. The idea of failing, of losing this chance, of disappointing Faith… She wouldn't allow it.

"Let's get moving," she said in the same voice she always used, one lacking emotion. It had earned her a bit of a reputation – some said she was like a machine, and she couldn't exactly argue. She didn't know if her facial expression had ever changed in the past month, or if she'd said more than three words at a time. She just didn't have the will anymore – all of it seemed pointless. It was like the color had drained out of everything, including herself, leaving a grey world composed entirely of facts and actions with no feeling or attachment to any of it. It was the little things that she noticed herself losing – saying "hi" to someone, or "nice to meet you"; shaking someone's hand, looking them in the eye when speaking, reading fiction or watching entertainment. Shepard no longer had the will to do any of the little things anymore, the things people did as part of a society or as an ordinary human – she was an outsider now, lacking interest in anything and continuing to move because it was the only option.

Well… It was one of two options. She'd considered the other option – even had a pistol readied – but at her core, Shepard was a survivor, and more importantly, she still felt Faith. As little will as she had to continue living, she still had that weakness for Faith that she'd always had, the one that made her listen and follow the girl's wishes – and she knew she wouldn't let her give up. So despite having no will, she continued. The only good emotions she ever felt now were in the past, whenever she thought about things that had been good (everything from the day they'd met to April 22), but every single one was tainted now as well, so she wasn't able to lose herself in memories and be happy, either.

All of Shepard's other emotions were dark, and getting darker. Despair was a constant, though she kept it in check and never showed it. Anger was her preferred course – hatred, rage, _they_ were far easier to handle than sorrow, so she found herself using those as her driving emotions. What was her other choice? She only felt two things, she had to pick one of them.

Her team made it back first; every objective complete, including optional ones. As the officer running the program congratulated her, she didn't crack a smile.

After her first shower in weeks, Shepard stepped out and noticed her omni-tool showing she'd received a private message. Since everyone she knew in the galaxy was dead, she couldn't guess who it was from – but upon checking it, she had to sit down. "Miranda…" She blinked a few times, realizing she'd never once spoken to Faith's friend herself. The woman was asking about Faith – a simple "How are you?" Since all of Faith's messages were forwarded to her now, she got it. Shepard had no idea how to respond, so she decided to go with stating the facts.

_Faith…_

She paused.

_Faith died-_

She deleted the line.

_Faith passed aw-_

She paused again, deleting it and sitting there staring at the screen. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't separate herself enough to make it clinical – so she gave up and put her own message on there. She sent the message and then set the tool aside, sniffing and standing to dry her hair – she couldn't stop moving.

Mass Effect

Miranda sat down, staring at the message.

_I lost Faith two months ago on Akuze. – Shepard_

Miranda quickly pulled up Cerberus' Alliance Military files and found the reports on Akuze, feeling her heart drop as she read over it. "God…" She didn't know quite how to feel; she'd only spoken to Faith every few months or so, and had only met her in person once, but she'd known her for years. She looked back at the message, wondering if she should reply and finally deciding to. This wasn't her area of expertise, though, so she had no idea what to say. Asking if she was okay would be stupid (the answer was pretty clear), as would most of the usual responses. But a stranger's concern wasn't what anyone needed in this situation, so Miranda decided to be more personal – after all, Faith had been a friend and Shepard had made her happy, so it was only right.

Mass Effect

Shepard had just lain down on her bed when her omni-tool made a sound indicating she'd received another message. _From Miranda_, she thought, knowing it had to be the reply. She picked up the tool.

_I'm sorry, and I really mean that. I'm going to miss Faith – she was one of the only real friends I've ever had, even though I don't know a great deal about her; all she ever talked about was you. If it helps, you made her incredibly happy, so much so that I was always a little jealous of her life; I can't recall ever being that happy. If you want to talk I'll be glad to do so, we never really got a chance to. – Miranda_

Shepard sighed, closing her eyes and thinking. Talking would just bring back painful emotions and memories – but Faith deserved that, and the _last_ thing Shepard wanted was to forget her. Before she let herself change her mind and take the easier path, she sent the message.

Mass Effect

_If you'd like. I'm not doing anything beyond staring at the ceiling. – Shepard_

Miranda smiled as she read the message – maybe she'd be able to get to know Faith better after all. She began routing through the appropriate systems, establishing a secure connection – she was surprised to learn Shepard's location, but it made sense. She was thankful that Shepard was using a personal omni-tool and not a military-owned computer; that made things easier.

RedHotDemon: Miranda?

LawBringer: It's me. You have an… interesting username.

RedHotDemon: Oh, yeah… Faith set this up when we were seventeen. She never let me change it.

Miranda chuckled.

LawBringer: That sounds like her.

RedHotDemon: She said she liked dating a 'bad girl' and wanted that represented. But she's… was weird like that. I was planning on changing it at some point, but…

LawBringer: I get it.

Miranda paused, thinking for a moment.

LawBringer: I can't say I know how you feel… I've never had a relationship like that. You two were together a long time, weren't you?

Shepard sighed, her eyes falling on the dogtags on her wrist as she typed.

RedHotDemon: It was six years, but… feels like so much longer.

She ran a hand through her hair, building up the courage to keep going – she might as well get it out somewhere.

RedHotDemon: To be honest… I still can't imagine life without her, even though I'm living it. This doesn't feel real yet. Every night I get… afraid to go to sleep. I dream about her every time, and wake up to realize she's gone again every morning. Every day it feels like I lost her only hours ago. The only way I can function is by forgetting, but every time I try I'm terrified I won't be able to remember again, and memory is the only thing I have left.

Miranda had no idea how to respond – what Shepard was describing was something beyond her experiences.

LawBringer: That sounds like a method of torture…

RedHotDemon: It feels like one. It's like… My only choices are either to remember and be miserable, or forget and be miserable. And all I feel is anger and pain…

LawBringer: That, I understand. I've been there. A lot of people will tell you to get over that, but I don't think those people ever experienced it. Ignoring it would be foolish.

RedHotDemon: You sound like Faith… After my parents, that's basically what she said. The good thing is that anger keeps me going… The bad is that I can't remember what fear feels like, but then that will probably just get me killed, and at this point I don't really care about that.

LawBringer: Do you feel like there's nothing left to live for but survival itself…?

RedHotDemon: …Yes.

LawBringer: So did I. I still do, sometimes. At one point I was running from everything I'd ever had, but I had nothing I was running _to_. It felt like a pointless struggle with nothing to gain.

RedHotDemon: Does that change…?

LawBringer: If you find something else to live for. You have a lot to offer, Shepard – you never know where your life could go. What would you want for Faith if it had been the other way around?

RedHotDemon: Well… Faith is different. She could make friends anywhere, and she made the galaxy brighter… and better… It's a waste. Me… I don't have that quality. Faith could do great even without me… I don't have that in me.

LawBringer: You're in ICT, aren't you?

RedHotDemon: How did you know that…? Okay, so… I'm a soldier. But that's all. Faith was a soldier, too, and she was so much more.

Finally, Miranda realized what was going on – her question had been eerily appropriate. She had asked what Shepard would want if it had been the other way around, but that was just it – that was what Shepard wanted – for Faith to be the one that had survived. Everything in her _hated_ that _she_ had survived while Faith had died, and everything Miranda knew about Shepard's past told her it wasn't the first time it had happened. Shepard was a survivor that felt doomed to watch everyone else die around her – a survivor that never wanted to be the survivor. She hated herself for that – hated that she could seemingly protect herself and no one else.

LawBringer: She was more than that, yes, but so are you. I talked to her, Shepard, I know what she saw in you – and I know that her biggest fear was that you would die. She wanted _you_ to survive.

RedHotDemon: I still don't know why. I'm trying to live up to that, though… It's the only reason I'm still alive.

LawBringer: You won't let her down.

RedHotDemon: I hope not… But I'm getting up in less than two hours, so I should get what sleep I can. Thanks for talking… It's good to actually talk to someone personally, especially someone else that knew her.

LawBringer: You have my information, if you want to talk again.

RedHotDemon: I will.

[USER DISCONNECTED]

Shepard and Miranda both sighed and laid back on their beds, staring at the ceiling. Neither got any sleep that night.

Mass Effect

_August 7__th__, 2177_

Shepard grunted in pain as the round grazed her arm. She landed and threw out a biotic shockwave that tore apart the mech before moving to better cover. Sweat coated her skin, soaking her shorts and making her sleeveless shirt cling to her body. It was almost familiar to her, apart from the blood running from several wounds. She let out a slow breath, leaning back against a crate and letting her crimson hair fall around her eyes where it stuck to her skin. Her skin shone in the low lighting, revealing the heavy tan she'd gained over the past few months and likely making her an easier target. That wasn't great as she wasn't wearing much of anything, even going barefoot, so evasion was her only option.

The Alliance had a lot of training facilities, and the ICT was sending her to many different kinds – and N1 training was _easy_ compared to every single one of them. As of now she was an N2, working on achieving the N3 rank. She wasn't planning on stopping until she beat everything they could throw at her, even if she hadn't known how challenging it would all be. She'd been at her current test for nineteen hours now, with no breaks for rest or food. She was in a massive, dark warehouse-like area with very little lighting and tons of crates, but also holding dozens of armed combat mechs. It was a fully live-fire scenario, so she'd been hit several times – she had a wristband that would allow her to call a stop to the training and get medical aid if necessary, but if she was honest she doubted she would hit it even if she was bleeding out. She'd be more likely to attempt to live until the training was over.

Still, she was in trouble – the number of mechs still up and moving was unknown to her, but there were far too many to simply _take_. On the other hand, fatigue was closing in, her muscles were burning, and she hadn't had anything to eat or drink in twenty hours. With all the sweat and exertion, she was likely dangerously dehydrated – simply put, she was running out of time, and she knew it. She didn't have enough time to formulate and follow a long-term plan; the longer she took, the worse she would perform, possibly risking a slip-up that could cost her her life.

"_Channel your emotions_." Shepard saw Miranda's worsts from their most recent conversation, filling her mind's eye. "_Focus that anger and pain into a blade and use it to cleave through anything in your way. You aren't a machine, Shepard – you may act 'cold', but you don't really do cold – you do hot. Burning. Rage. That's why you're alive. That's what makes you a survivor – not ice, but __**fire**__."_

Shepard's eyes shot open at the last second as the mech in front of her fired. The dark corner lit up with the muzzle flash, and the metal slug blasted out of the barrel only inches from her face – and stopped. Energy poured off of her like an overflowing cup as she reached up and grabbed the mech's hand and pistol in one of hers, crushing both. Sparks flew and metal groaned beneath her fingers as it bent and crumpled, and all Shepard saw was red – and flames.

The ensuing blast shredded the mech and embedded its remains in the wall behind it. Every mech in the place suddenly knew where she was, but she slowly looked over her shoulder at the one that rounded the corner to her right. Before it could fire she had flung the crumpled metal from her hand into its chest, throwing it off balance. In the next second she was in the air, her foot stomping the shard home through the mech's chassis with little resistance despite her being barefoot. She placed a second foot on the mech's head, kicking herself into a backflip as it folded into a heap. Shepard landed atop the crates she'd formerly been hiding behind, listening to the gunfire from the five mechs that had spotted her in her new, highly-visible position.

High-velocity metal whizzed past her as she slowly stood and turned, raising a hand. Her eyes burned as Faith filled her mind – her face, her voice, her teasing, her laughter – and every slug aimed at her stopped in the air, caught in her barrier. But Shepard wasn't emotionless – not anymore. With a yell of rage she threw her hand to the side and every slug sought its owner, embedding itself in the head of the mech that had fired it. More sparks flew, and miniature fires began starting as the mechs' circuits were fried. Shepard leapt from her position and landed in the center of the next round of mechs, sending them into the air with a biotic field that sprung up from her landing point.

Shepard straightened and punched a fist through one, spun and brought her heel down to shear through another, and grabbed a third and tore it apart with a scream as a shockwave erupt from her, sending pieces of the mechs in all directions. People in the observation rooms, located high on one wall, ducked behind consoles as some of the pieces pelted the heavy-duty glass. Shepard stood uncaring, focused no longer on anything outside of the massive room; though her eyes were filled with tears, rage visibly burned within them. She heard more mechs and tore a path through the metal shipping containers, ripping her way out of one like it was tissue paper to appear in front of the mechs.

They fired, but it was a pointless gesture now. The slugs were rejected even without the need for a conscious effort on her part, and she tore into the mechs like a wild animal, shearing them from shoulder to hip or bisecting them from head to legs. Her biotics forged into blades of force around her limbs, making every strike deadly and unstoppable. Shrapnel and flame flew at her from every direction, but she didn't give it any notice. She _did_ notice the feeling of tears on her cheeks, but she didn't care anymore – she didn't care about maintaining a tough image, or about any sort of _test_, or about duty or orders or function. All she knew was that Faith was dead, _and everything within reach was going to pay for that_.

Her power seemed to multiply with every passing minute. Mechs went from being sheared to being shattered to being shredded; at the end, every strike was a biotic explosion of force, denting or tearing through everything nearby, whether it be metal or stone. Most of the overhead lights – which were turned on as Shepard had abandoned stealth and the parameters of the test – had been shattered. Most of the shipping containers were dented or torn apart, as if some wild animal had rampaged through the area. Large portions of the wall, ceiling and floor were cracked or gouged. Sparking wires flashed everywhere, and the entire facility was lit by dozens – possibly hundreds – of small fires littering the area.

In the center of the facility stood Shepard; swathed in blue flames of energy, panting heavily, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Sweat, blood and oil coated her skin, causing it to glint in the light from the fires. Blood ran down every limb and her formerly white tank top was soaked in the same sweat, blood and oil that covered her skin, as well as sporting at least a dozen burn marks. None of this managed to get more than passing notice from anyone who could see her – their attention was focused on her eyes as she looked over her shoulder, the amber within burning brighter than the flames surrounding her. Her gaze focused on the observation room and the people within, who were slowly standing having taken shelter behind things in the room (the glass had long since shattered, despite being the same type used for ship viewports).

The goal of the test had been to survive for thirty-six hours, but there was nothing left to survive. She began walking, exiting the room into the outside area. Everyone there watched her speechlessly as she used biotics to pull her shoes into one hand and grabbed her coat with the other, holding it over her shoulder and kicking open the door to outside. "I finished the test," she said without a backwards glance, walking out and letting the door swing shut behind her. No one stopped her.

Mass Effect

Shepard walked into the bar, thankful for being at a facility on a planet. She had spent the past few hours on a shower and a nap – one had been a good idea; the other hadn't. Her crimson hair now hung around her face in its usual way, no longer soaked with sweat. She had worn simple civilian clothes – a white v-cut shirt, black pants, and a black longcoat with matching boots and gloves. Not that it mattered – despite this being a civilian area, everyone recognized a soldier when they saw one due to the high traffic of their type, especially in the bars.

She went to lean on the bar, motioning to the shelf. The bartender was experienced – he knew how to tell what kind of customer he was dealing with, so he didn't bother chatting, instead moving to grab the bottle and a glass. Shepard gave him a look and he shrugged, putting the glass back in its place and handing her the bottle. She paid and grabbed it without a word, pushing off the bar and moving to a place in the back. With the high volume of customers this bar got, it was a very nice place – and very large, which was perfect for Shepard as it would allow her to find a spot away from any other patrons, especially talkative ones. She avoided the bar full of patrons – and gave the crowded dance floor a wide berth – and picked a spot in one of the huge room's corners, a dark area with an L-shaped couch, two chairs and a table, all vacant.

Shepard took a seat at the bend of the couch, setting her feet on the table and resting her free arm along the back of the couch as she pulled the top from the bottle with her teeth and took a drink. She'd picked a strong one, and could feel the effects immediately, but she wasn't planning on doing anything soon. The next day was the first that she wouldn't have to get up in the early morning for in a long while – the military was still deciding how to handle her situation and what to think about her test performance. At the moment, though, she didn't care about any of that – her mind was still on Faith, and nothing she tried could get it off, so it was time to try an old friend. Of course, that itself came with memories, but as she took another drink, she allowed herself to fall into those; anything was better than the present…

Mass Effect

_October 3, 2170_

Faith lay on her stomach on her bed, focusing on some sort of homework. She looked up from her assignment as the door opened and Kira stepped in with a smile that told Faith she wasn't up to anything good. "Okay, now I _have_ to know," she said with a smile of her own.

Kira chuckled, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it, holding up a bottle and shaking it back and forth to show it was full. "Some of the teachers here _still_ haven't learned to change the codes on their cabinets."

Faith raised an eyebrow. "What'd you do, steal some sort of drink?"

"'Some sort of drink'," Kira repeated with another chuckle. "You're cute. You don't recognize hard liquor when you see it?"

"Well I never drank any before, how should I?"

"You're kidding." Faith shook her head and Kira laughed. "Who knew Earth kids could be so naïve and innocent?"

"When have you done all _your_ drinking?"

"I took it from my parents every so often, but I mainly started after I got here – before I met you." She spun the bottle in her hand end over end, tilting her head with an enticing smirk. "Wanna try? Thought you could use a break from the boredom."

Faith turned off the pad and slid it off her bed to the floor. "_God_ yes. I may be smart but that doesn't make some of this stuff any less boring." She laughed as Kira grabbed her wrist and pulled her up off the bed, handing her the bottle.

"First taste is yours then – we must shatter your curse of sobriety as quickly as possible."

Faith smirked. "It's really not that bad." She opened the bottle and gave it a sniff, grimacing before taking a taste – after which she coughed. "Eugh – _this_ is that bad."

Kira laughed. "It's not for _tasting_. That's just how you get it in." She grabbed the bottle and lifted it up, downing a gulp of the liquid and sighing. "Back of your tongue. Trust me – trying to savor _this_ shit will just put you off drinking forever."

Faith followed her example, taking a bigger drink. She shook her head afterwards, passing the bottle back. "I guess I'll get used to it – you're not gonna make me a drunk, are you?"

Kira smiled and shook her head. "Drinking's a once-in-a-while thing; any more than that and you get weak." She lifted the bottle, inspecting it against the light. "You have to be able to live without _everything_, and alcohol is included in that. Can't be a necessity – start relying on it for anything, and you're fucked." She took a large swig. "Mmph- however," she gave a grin, "once in a while, it's nice to have everything outside of the room fade away."

Faith took it back, thinking over Shepard's words as she took another sip, starting to get used to it. "What about me?"

"Huh?"

"You said 'you have to be able to live without everything' – does that include me?"

Kira was caught off-guard, but she studied Faith's face for a few (long) moments before giving a small smile. "Well, I mean – every rule has _exceptions_."

Faith smiled happily and took another drink. "You know, this is still terrible, but I think it's getting better."

"Yeah, that's because you stop caring so much what anything tastes like."

"So this would be good for eating bad-tasting healthy food, then."

"Yes, that is _exactly_ why everyone likes the stuff," Kira said with a roll of her eyes, causing Faith to giggle.

Half an hour later they both sat on the bed, listening to the music Kira had put on (to cover drunken voices) and finishing the last of the bottle. Kira sighed as she turned it upside-down. "And that's that. Prob'ly enough though, this stuff's pretty strong."

"I'll say," Faith said with a giggle, looking at the room upside-down with her head hanging off the edge of the bed. "I think the room's spinning."

"No, _you're_ spinning." Kira chuckled. "You're one o' those 'weird' drunks, I see. Still… You hold it well for your first drinks."

"You teach me so many things," Faith said as she lifted her head and grinned at her. "You're a baaaad influence, Kiri."

"That's me," Kira smiled as she tossed the bottle away. "Have fun, though?"

"Of course!" Faith pulled herself up and sat on her legs next to Kira's so she could look at her. "Not surprised, though – we always have fun together."

Kira smiled at her. "That's true. We're a good team."

Faith nodded. "Life was…" She tilted her head, looking for the right word. "_Dull_ before you showed up. Not… Not _boring_, not all the time anyway, but… _dull_. Kinda colorless. It's like you brightened everything."

"Well you put everything in focus," Kira said. "My life was all blurry and pointless before you."

Faith smiled. "We fix everything!" She giggled as she moved to sit against the wall with Kira, laying her head on her shoulder.

Kira chuckled. "Yeah… Hey, if I get all mushy and say 'thank you', you aren't gonna remember it tomorrow, are you?"

Faith laughed, tilting her head up and grinning at her. "Oh, I'm gonna remember. I'm gonna remember aaaalll the things."

Kira couldn't help but laugh as well. She couldn't tell if it was the alcohol, Faith's company, or a combination of the two, but she couldn't remember being as happy as she was in this moment, even _before_ the incident on Mindoir. Sure, she still struggled with things sometimes, but now – right now – she could see a _good_ future for herself for the first time. She noticed that Faith was watching her; she always knew when she was thinking about something. She didn't know what to say, though, so she just shrugged her shoulders. "Things are pretty good."

Faith smiled at the response – she didn't even have to speak questions allowed, sometimes Kira just knew. She lifted her head from Shepard's shoulder, but didn't move away. "Things _are_ good, aren't they?" Her voice was a little distant as her eyes focused on Kira's, her smile present but subconscious now – forgotten.

Kira was looking at her, and listening to her, but it wasn't a conscious thing, or a choice. The music had sort of faded from her notice – it was like some sort of background droning noise; she couldn't recognize the song. But at the moment, she couldn't have told anyone what color the room was, either, or even what color clothes she was wearing. The only thing she noticed was Faith, and what surprised her – what actually managed to distract her thoughts for only a moment – was how natural that felt; she realized she didn't care about anything around her _but_ Faith.

It didn't happen quickly, or suddenly, or in an instant – all that happened was that she moved forward and Faith didn't pull back. Kira pressed her lips to Faith's, and Faith responded instantly. There was no hesitation in either of them as Kira leaned forward and slid her hand to the back of Faith's neck, pulling her into it. Faith tilted her head as the kiss deepened, resting her hand on Shepard's leg. Both of them had their eyes closed as their positions slowly reversed until Faith was on her back and Shepard was above her, hands on either side. After what seemed like an eternity Kira slowly pulled back, opening her eyes just as Faith's opened and looked up at her.

Neither of them asked what they were doing, as the answer was obvious. For once there weren't any questions – everything was an answer. They looked at each other for another few moments before Kira leaned down and kissed her again, and Faith kissed back. As it grew heavier, both the alcohol and the music were forgotten – and everything outside of the room faded away.

Mass Effect

Shepard had her eyes on the bottle in her hand, but she wasn't looking at it. She couldn't hear the annoyingly bass-heavy music anymore, either, or the constant chattering and conversation filling the bar. Her mind was years in the past, living in a better time – but connected to the present by a thread of pain that still wouldn't disappear. Her bottle was only half-empty, which was about half as empty as she planned for it to be. She heard a voice but not its words, and looked up to see a few guys standing nearby.

One of them stepped back, raising his eyebrows. "Whoa – I thought you guys said she was like, crazy tough?"

"That's what I heard," another one said. "She's got a _hard_ reputation."

"Then why's she crying?"

_Fuck_. Shepard lifted a hand to her face, wiping the tears away with her glove – they were right.

"Holy shit, you're not kidding – I dunno, man, I guess even 'tough' women are all emotional," the second guy said.

Shepard's amber eyes lifted to the three, and the third guy laughed. "Uh-oh, I think you guys made her mad."

Shepard stood off the couch, swaying slightly to one side as the room spun – she'd picked the hardest thing at the bar that wasn't made for krogans, so she wasn't surprised.

"Whooaaa," one of the guys, the first one, laughed, swaying like she did. "Had a bit too much? Not too intimidating when you-"

The sound of the bottle shattering drew a lot of attention, along with a few cries of surprise from those who noticed it was being smashed across the side of the man's head. Shepard came out of the spin and landed lightly on her feet despite her condition, watching the man hit the ground. Blood was running from the side of his head, but all she did was drop what remained of the bottle in her hand on his back. Her eyes moved from him to his shocked friends. "Wrong time, wrong target."

"It was a joke! Fucking bitch!" One of the guy's friends – the third one - stepped forward and threw a punch, but Shepard wasn't in the mood to be messed with. She swayed out of his way and caught his wrist in her right hand, placing her left at the joint of his shoulder. She levered him past her and slammed him face-first into the table, shattering it. She felt his shoulder dislocate and heard his nose break. She knew the second guy was going to try something, but she really didn't care – she _hated_ the three simply for interrupting her thoughts. They'd shoved aside her memories of Faith for their own stupid enjoyment, and they weren't getting away with it.

She didn't bother lifting a hand towards the last man. At this point everyone in the bar was looking at the exchange, but she didn't care about that, either. She caught the man with biotics before his fist could make contact, lifting him off the ground. He struggled and shouted a half-hearted threat, but Shepard didn't even waste her time understanding what he said. His words were nothing but background noise as she stood stock still, nothing moving – not even her eyes, which were looking past him at nothing – as he began slamming repeatedly against the floor. Twice, three times – now there was blood – four times, five, six, seven. Then he flew past her shoulder, ruffling her jacket as he shot by and landed on the couch, flipping it over. She had no idea what condition he was in – she didn't care.

For the second time that day everyone in the room was staring at her in shock and fear; she briefly wondered if that was going to be a common thing as she stepped over the first man and walked towards the bar. The bartender looked nervous and likely wasn't about to argue. "Put all the damage on my bill," she said, still not showing emotion as she reached over the bar and grabbed another bottle of the same drink, "along with this. Add whatever tip you want." She let the bottle hang from her hand as she walked to the door and pushed it out of her way.

She decided that public places weren't really for her.

* * *

_A/N: Now **this** chapter I'm happy with! And finally, a longer chapter! Also, holy shit you guys, I am having **so much fun** writing this story, you don't even know. This chapter was mainly showing how Shepard is dealing with everything, and how it's affecting her. I would like to thank **Panthour** for suggesting flashbacks showing the friends / girlfriends transition of Faith and Shepard's relationship - I had a lot of fun writing that, and you can expect more later on! My plan is to show what Shepard's mind focuses on when she falls into memories, so we should see some good (and a few bad) highlights._

_Also, another big development, Shepard "meeting" Miranda - there won't be a real **friendship** between them until later, but for now they're in contact. Miranda is as closed-off as she always is (especially after Faith), and Shepard - well, Shepard isn't about to care about anyone again just yet. The only reason she's as open and honest with Miranda as she is here is because Miranda knew Faith, and is therefore the closest thing to Faith that Shepard has at this point._

_On to review replies!_

**_bluemarlin:_**_ Thanks! No worries - this story has **no chance** of being abandoned. It will continue._

**_surfergirl3537:_**_Everyone but Shepard knew it was coming; kinda sucks for her, I think. Also, yes - as you can see here (and will see more later), she is quite the bitch. The violent, unstable, disconcertingly powerful bitch. Kinda like Jack, but less whiny. Anyway, Shepard **sort of** met Miranda in this chapter, but for now they'll be more like pen pals or online chat friends than anything - a relationship at arm's length._

**_SPACER8000:_**_Awesome! It's a true achievement to cause an emotion in a reader, so that's always a huge compliment. I was a little worried that Faith hadn't been around long enough to elicit a strong response, so I'm glad to hear you cared about her._

**_panthour:_**_I'm so happy that you liked Faith so much - OC's are always risky to write. Don't worry, there's an alternate universe where that happens - but in **this** universe, Life is a fucking **bitch** to Shepard, so there are no easy outs. I think I responded to this already, but Shepard **will** have romance later - but much later, years down the line, because she certainly isn't ready or looking for anything now, and doesn't believe that will happen at all. For now, Shepard's life is split between past and present. Speaking of the past, thanks again for your awesome suggestion! As you can see, I put it in this chapter (twice), and there will be more later - I'm not sure how many such flashbacks I'll do, but there's still more to explore there and I think it helps expand Shepard's character, not to mention it helps us see where Shepard's mind is, why she's such a wreck, and why she's stuck in the past._

**_Ciborn:_**_Glad you liked it! Yeah, trust me, killing Faith was at least as hard for me to do as it was for any of you to read. That's probably why I'm not completely happy with that chapter - I'll always think Faith deserves more, because I love her. Anyway, comments about Crimson Regret are awesome wherever you want to say them! And I'm glad you liked the epilogue - see, I debated whether or not to write it after the final chapter, but once I started writing that epilogue - and especially after I finished it - I thought, "I don't know if adding this is a good or bad idea, but I **do** know that it's good enough that it deserves to be in there, and the characters deserve it". Sometimes, there are no happy endings - and sometimes you get one anyway._

_**cellester: **I will be doing Torfan - should be fun to write (and brutal). I'll also be doing something special with it. As for your other question, I think it got answered in this chapter - I decided not to show Faith's funeral, as individual soldiers don't usually get funerals unless the family requests one, and I really didn't think Shepard would - not with how badly she knows she'd handle it._

**_SleepyWerewolf:_**_Oh, buddy, you must not have read my writing if you're asking if things are going to get very dark now. Dark is my **thing**, man - there's gonna be darkness all over the place. But not permanent darkness, and not **always** dark, because everything is a balance. For now, there probably won't be much light or humor in the present timeline, but fortunately flashbacks are going to be offering some humor and relief every so often. I'm glad you liked Faith so much - I hope the flashbacks help with missing her (They're basically like therapy for me XD - I tend to get attached to characters)_

**_Gemini1179:_**_Kira is moving forward... um... Well, she's not, I guess. Not really. It's gonna be a hard, rocky, violent road for her. As for Miranda, well we got to see them come in contact in this chapter, didn't we? More will come later, for now, Miranda is more like a sort of lifeline to Faith - a bit of Faith that Shepard still has. As for the Cerberus being behind Akuze thing... yeah, that's gonna be a fun revelation, ain't it? Think I mentioned the Torfan thing already - expect that, and expect brutality... and some cool additions to that which the game didn't mention._

_That's all for now - as always, thanks for reading, super-thanks for reviewing, and look forward to future chapters! I have plans... so many plans... *Rubs hands together in a plotting manner*_


	8. Chapter 8: Bloodmoon

_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Shepard would be able to do all the cool stuff like "flying with biotics" that every other biotic gets to do but her (seriously, does Biotic Shepard disappoint anyone else when it comes to stuff outside of gameplay? What's up with that?)._

**Chapter 8: Bloodmoon**

_October 4, 2170_

Kira woke up first – she always did. To her amazement her head wasn't as bad as she would have thought, despite how much she knew she drank the night before. She opened her eyes, realizing she was still in Faith's bed – as was Faith. Part of her was afraid to wake her, worrying that the previous night had simply been the result of alcohol – but the rest of her knew that wasn't true. She lifted a hand and slid her fingers through the brunette's hair, watching as Faith smiled and slowly opened her eyes – and then immediately shut them. "Ow…"

Kira chuckled. "Welcome to your first hangover." She leaned up out of the bed and pressed the button to close the shutters, blocking out the late-morning sunlight.

"Much better," Faith said as she opened her eyes again, looking at Kira with a nervous smile. "Last night… I mean… Was it just-" She was cut off as Kira kissed her, sighing contentedly as she responded instantly.

Kira pulled back after a few moments, smiling slightly. "The alcohol just made it easier," she responded. "It stopped my worrying about how you'd react…"

Faith smiled and sat up, leaning down to kiss her again (for another few, longer moments). "All I remember," she said after pulling back (but not far), "is that I was thinking… Well, I _wasn't_ thinking. I couldn't really think – everything was in the moment."

Kira looked up at her as her fingers played through the ends of her brown hair. "So what now, now that we can think about things beyond this moment?"

Faith leaned down to kiss her again, but this time Kira's lips caught her more fiercely than she'd expected, and it ended up lasting far longer than she'd initially planned… although she didn't exactly _fight_ it. Minutes later she broke off, breathing heavily. "Well, for one thing, more of _that_," she said breathlessly, causing Kira to chuckle. She smiled at her. "All I know is, I want… this. More of this. Of you."

Kira ran her fingers down Faith's cheek, and then down her arm, never taking her eyes off of Faith's. "So we're… together?"

Faith laughed softly. "We've always been _together_, Kiri – now we're just… together in an _extra_ way." She smiled. "I mean, if you think about it, it really is the next logical step…"

Kira chuckled. "There you go, thinking about logic."

Faith smiled. "Well, logic and… other things. Look, when it comes down to it, you're _really_ hot, so…"

"Oh, so this is all about my body."

"Not _all_ about your body." Faith grinned. "But can't _some_ of it be about that…?"

Kira leaned up. "Better be," she said in a low voice before capturing Faith's lips again. This kiss was more heated than any previous, and Faith knew she had no chance – or desire – to escape it, especially when she felt Kira's hands sliding around her waist.

"Oh, here we go," Faith said dreamily as Kira pulled her down.

Mass Effect

_August 8, 2177_

Shepard opened her eyes and immediately shut them against the light streaming in. Her head – and her entire body – was killing her. She was atop her bed's messed-up sheets, still half-dressed. She found something to throw across the room, hitting the switch to close the shutters. Once her room was dark again she laid back and worked on opening her eyes once more, adjusting to the now-dim lighting. When her ceiling came into view she slowly sat up, grimacing at the pain that shot through her head. She felt something against her leg and picked up the object, recognizing it as the bottle she'd taken from the bar. She shook it a bit, realized there was still some liquid left, and brought it to her lips, draining what remained before tossing the bottle across the room.

She pulled herself up to sit against the wall and put her face in her hands, rubbing it to try to wake herself up while fighting down the nausea she felt. Her fingers wiped away tears, but that was barely something to notice at this point – simply a given. She let out a sigh and leaned her head back against the wall, looking over her mess of a room. _You're a real respectable soldier,_ she thought. _A real success_. "Shut up," she muttered to herself, slowly sliding out of the bed and stumbling to the bathroom sink. She turned on the faucet and brought the cool water to her face, which woke her up further. She made the mistake of looking at herself in the mirror and hated what she saw, but she didn't have any answers for that person in the mirror – she just turned away.

She got dressed and grabbed her black trenchcoat, pulling it on as she walked out the door. She didn't have a destination in mind; she just needed to be… somewhere. Out of there. As she was walking, her omni-tool made a noise – to her surprise, someone was calling. Her first thought was that it was local law enforcement or the military calling about one of the previous night's incidents, in which case of course she would just ignore it – but when she noticed who it was, she answered it immediately. "It's like you're psychic… or spying on me," she said as her voice cracked, finding a nice area in the nearby park that was completely devoid of people.

"Ooh, you don't sound good," Miranda's voice responded. "Rough night?"

"You could say that," Shepard said as she sat on a bench and ran a hand through her hair. "And you'd be right if you did."

"I've heard some interesting things about you," Miranda replied. "Apparently you chose to pass yesterday's test by _destroying the test_?"

Shepard smirked. "Those files are supposed to be top-secret."

"How am I supposed to root for you without knowing the score?" Miranda sounded incredibly amused as she continued, "They still have no idea how to grade it. They're all running around confused."

"Good," Shepard stated. "Gives me some time off."

"And what have you been doing with that time off?"

"Can't you figure that out with your mysterious 'ways'?"

"I'd rather hear it from you, but sure, let's do that…" There was a pause for a few moments. "Oh, my – Shepard, it seems you've been bad."

"Uh-huh."

"Three soldiers? You can't even have normal _bar fights_."

Shepard leaned back on the bench, crossing one leg over the other as she watched the trees move in the wind. "Are they looking for me?"

"They have plans to contact you later – there were enough witnesses that claimed the three others started it, but you _did_ kind of use excessive violence. This list of injuries is… really quite impressive."

Shepard squinted up at the sky. "Any deaths? I didn't check."

"One has a concussion and lacerations… Another had a dislocated shoulder, broken nose, and broken jaw along with several teeth…"

Shepard scoffed. "Must have put him in that table harder than I thought."

"The third has… well, a lot of problems. He's in critical condition and they're unsure of how it will… Okay, this is odd."

"What?"

"It was just changed…"

"What was?"

"The investigation," Miranda answered. "They were going to question you, and it… It really did look bad – according to this update, the one in critical condition died."

Shepard sighed, looking at the ground. _Damn it…_

"They planned to investigate you for that as it's a pretty big offense considering they only verbally attacked you before, but…"

"But what?"

"Well, it all changed!"

"You said that already."

"No, I mean _everything_ changed. It's now filed as an 'accident' with no investigation pending."

Shepard frowned. "What…?"

"They're not looking into it. Your name's not even mentioned in any of these reports anymore – it disappeared. Even the two surviving soldiers claim they don't know who was responsible. Shepard, I _saw_ their statements a few minutes ago, I saw these reports – they're all different now. Someone changed them."

"Someone's covering me…?" Shepard looked around, as if she was expecting to see someone watching her – which she was. "Why…?"

"I don't know. This is high-level work. If I had to guess, I'd say the Alliance was keeping you clean and clear."

"Why would someone high-up enough to do this care about a simple soldier?"

"Well, obviously they don't think you're a simple soldier. I'm guessing they have plans for you."

"I'm not gonna complain about them keeping me out of trouble, but I'd like to know what those plans are."

"I can do my best to find out."

"I'd appreciate that."

"I'll do it, then. But first… Let's go back to yesterday."

"What about it?"

"Well you said – and it looks – pretty rough."

Shepard sighed. "I'm… not doing too well. Embracing my emotions worked, but… maybe too well."

"That explains the violence. I guess you tried drinking to dull them again?"

"Yeah."

"It doesn't look like that worked."

"No, it did – I only killed _one_ of them, after all. Anyway, they were assholes – they had it coming."

"I'm not going to lecture you, Shepard; especially now that I'm watching this security footage…"

"Of what?"

"Both incidents. It looks like a camera survived in the facility – you must be getting sloppy if something wasn't demolished – and the bar has security cameras for obvious reasons."

"So what do you think?"

"What do I think? You're impressive, Shepard, we both know that. You're guaranteed to make it to and past N7 with no difficulties; I just hope that whatever you do after that is worthy of you."

"You really think I'm worth something, huh?"

"Of course you are! Humanity _needs_ people like you. I know you're meant for more than 'soldier' – so did Faith."

"She did talk about that a lot… I think my future is as a weapon, at least according to someone pretty damn high up."

"Maybe… But a weapon aimed at what?"

Shepard looked over her shoulder, feeling eyes on her from every direction. _Just what I needed – paranoia. _"I guess we'll find out."

Mass Effect

_December 24, 2177 – Four Months Later_

Shepard stumbled out of the bar and around the corner, heading into the alley beside it. A nearly-empty bottle hung from her fingers in a loose grip, her other hand tucked inside her dirty brown longcoat for warmth as she slowly made her way through the alley. She had to remove her free hand and place it on the wall to keep herself on her feet, even then nearly tripping over trash. She took a moment to lean against the wall, lifting her hand to run it through her dirty, matted black hair. She sniffed, pulling her coat tighter against the cold night air and lifting the bottle to her lips for another drink.

At an entrance to the alley, a sharply-dressed man in expensive clothing stepped into view, blocking her way. He smiled, slowly walking towards her. "Running hasn't been very good to you," he said to the huddled and bent figure in front of him.

Shepard squinted to make him out. "Who…?"

"Cleaning up a loose end," he said as he removed a sleek pistol, the weapon of a professional, and aimed it at her. "Just business," he said with an apologetic smile, pulling the trigger.

By the time the round left the chamber, Shepard was no longer there – her ruined brown coat hung in the air before him, empty. The slug embedded itself in the wall and the man had only a second to realize what had happened before he was slammed into the wall and held against it by an unseen force, suspended a meter off the ground. His pistol jumped out of his hand and into Shepard's outstretched one. Her sleek black trenchcoat hadn't even settled from her movement as she aimed the pistol at his face. "You're under arrest." She glanced at the bottle in her other hand, shrugging as she lifted it to her lips to down the rest of it, smirking at the speechless man. "Just business."

Minutes later Shepard watched the man being led into the military base as a male human officer came to stand beside her. "Well done, Shepard. To be honest, given your track record I wasn't sure what you brought us would be breathing."

Shepard stood with one hand in her hair, grimacing at the black locks she was holding in front of her eyes. "Hope it was worth it. This'll be a pain to get out." She sighed and dropped her hand to her hip. "It took him long enough. This 'mission' was mainly just boring."

The dark-skinned officer chuckled. "Most people wouldn't call impersonating a former spy to get their assassin's attention 'boring'. They make movies about that kind of thing."

"Yeah, well, it was boring," she responded as she removed the blue contacts from her eyes before turning her once-again-amber gaze on him. "ICT keeps inviting me back and I keep _coming_ back for better missions, but half of it is just training. I did harder shit than this before I ever qualified for N1."

"At least you got to drink on this one."

"That _is_ true."

"So what are you up to? They didn't tell me."

"Now that this week-long bore is over? N6," Shepard said with a small smile.

The officer whistled. "Damn, gotta be proud of that."

"I am." _And hopefully you are, too_, she thought as she reached a hand up to toy with one of the dog tags hanging around her neck. "And it was just in time, too."

The man raised an eyebrow. "In time for what? You in a rush?"

"There's an upcoming Alliance mission I want a part of. N6 will give me a better chance of getting myself in."

"I haven't heard about anything big."

"Yeah, well, just word-of-mouth, you know?" She said with a shrug. _And it helps if you happen to know someone with access to top-secret files_. "I have it on good authority. Anyway, I hope whatever information you get from that drunken wreck is worth the trouble."

"Eh, with our luck she doesn't have anything, but even then we can pretend she told us something to make her employers nervous. There's always a way to use any situation."

"Then you can get on with that," Shepard said as she turned away. "I'm going to go take a fucking shower."

The man laughed as she waved over her shoulder. "Merry Christmas."

"Yeah."

She took a taxi back to the hotel they'd put her in and hung up her coat once inside, wasting no time tossing her clothes in the corner and stepping in the shower. Everything felt better as the warm water washed over her. She stood there for a few minutes, just letting it fill with steam as she went quiet and forced her body to relax. She leaned a hand on the wall and turned her back to the water, resting her forehead against the cool tile and closing her eyes.

Mass Effect

_December 12, 2170_

Faith smiled as she heard the shower door open. "Occupiiiiied…" She closed her eyes and leaned back as she felt Kira step into the stream of water and slip her arms around her bare waist.

"My bad," Kira said softly, giving a crooked smile as she kissed Faith's neck. "I guess I didn't realize… I could leave…"

"Well…" Faith sighed softly at the next kiss, leaning to the side enough that she could look at Kira over her shoulder. "Now that you're _here_, I suppose there's nothing wrong with _sharing_…"

Kira smiled against her skin, lifting her eyes to lock with Faith's. "Saves water…"

Faith shuddered, her eyelids drooping as she felt Kira's fingers trailing lower. "And… heat… energy…"

"Right, heat energy," Kira said as amusement shone in her eyes.

Faith groaned and leaned her head back on Kira's shoulder. "We're gonna be… so late for class…"

Kira raised an eyebrow. "And…?"

"And nothing," Faith responded as she opened her eyes to look at her. "I never liked class much anyway…" She said distractedly as she slipped her hand up behind Kira's head and pulled her down into a kiss.

Sometime later they stumbled into class laughing about something, and the instructor glared at them, as she was in the middle of a lecture – and nearing the end of the class. "So good of you two to show up."

"Sorry," Kira said with a grin that didn't look the least bit apologetic.

Faith nodded. "We got caught up with… other things."

"You're over an hour late!"

"They were very _extensive _other things," Faith replied, not managing to hide a giggle.

The instructor just sighed – they were hopeless.

Mass Effect

Shepard snapped her eyes open, pushing off the wall. The shower had gone cold while she was out of it, so she turned the heat up and sighed as she reached for a nearby bottle. She began rinsing her hair, her eyes sad as she watched black run down her arms and body, swirling into the drain between her feet. It took several times before she had her original crimson hair back, after which she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, hearing her omni-tool at the same time. She reached over and hit it as she began to dry herself. "Good timing."

"I assume you're back in private, then," Miranda's voice responded.

"Yeah. It's less boring than my mission was."

"That sounds unpleasant. Is Alliance training not what it used to be?"

"Maybe. But I've got higher hopes for the future."

"Right – that's what I'm calling about. The Alliance is closing in on the batarian pirates – I'd say a month before they have their exact location. Did you get your new designation?"

"Not yet," Shepard said as she tossed her towel and started to get dressed. "Well, not officially – probably tomorrow, after reports are filed and everything."

"Good. In that case, I'd start trying to get in on this right after that. There's no way they'll turn you down. They might even be planning to get you already. Oh, and there's one more thing…"

"What's that?"

"We're going to be there."

Shepard blinked. "You? And that human-centric group?"

"_Cerberus_, Shepard – we have a name."

"Right, sorry. Cerberus is going to be there?"

"Well you shouldn't tell that to anyone else, but yes – we're half the reason the Alliance is as close as they are, and our leader has his own plans for revenge."

"Sounds great to _me_," Shepard said, looking at herself in the mirror and letting her eyes travel over some of her scars. "I hope whatever he has planned is as much as they deserve."

"You can count on it."

"So what about you _personally_?"

"Oh, I'll be there. We probably won't run into each other though."

"Right, you'll be doing top-secret stuff." Shepard grabbed her omni-tool and left the bathroom, dropping onto her bed. "This has been a long time coming, Miranda…"

"I know, Shepard. They're going to pay – I promise you that."

Shepard lifted her hand, watching as the air above her palm warped and twisted, coalescing into an orb of flickering power – which wasn't nearly as dangerous as her focused amber eyes. "There's no question of that."

"That's… not the only thing I'm calling about, though."

"What else…?"

"It's your first Christmas since…"

Shepard watched the power fade from her hand, then let her hand drop to her side and responded with a quiet, "Yeah."

"So you were already thinking about it, then."

"Of course I was." _How could I not? _"I've got…" As her voice caught she sighed, half out of frustration. She closed her eyes and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, as if she was getting a headache. She gave herself a few moments before continuing in a softer voice, "I've got her present… I got it back in February, at the same time as the rings."

"Shepard…"

"No, it's… Look, at least I can somewhat talk about it, unlike July."

She didn't have to be more specific – Miranda remembered July. She'd tried contacting Shepard on the eighth, but _no one_ had been able to find, let alone speak with her, from the seventh to the ninth. Even Cerberus had no idea where she'd been during those three days, and Miranda hadn't thought asking would be a good idea. She just hoped it wouldn't repeat _every_ year on Faith's birthday. "Maybe you should keep it… You know, wrapped."

"Just sitting there…?"

"Opening it or throwing it away will just make you feel worse. At least this way it's something… unfinished. It isn't final."

"That makes sense…" Shepard sighed. "Alright."

"And Merry Christmas."

Shepard looked to the side, noticing that it was past midnight. She smiled sadly. "Thanks."

"I'll give you a call sometime tomorrow – you seem tired, get some sleep."

"Yeah. Miranda?"

"Yes?"

"I don't… I wouldn't be able to get through all of this without you. I just… thought you should know that." Shepard let out a breath.

"…Of course, Shepard. I'm doing this for the both of you – I owe Faith, she saved my life, and she was a friend. And so are you."

Shepard looked down at her wedding ring, running her thumb over the cool metal. _You just keep looking out for me, don't you?_

Mass Effect

_January 23, 2178 - Torfan_

The shuttle shook as it entered the atmosphere, shuddering harder whenever it passed through anti-aircraft fire. Some of the soldiers looked nervous; Shepard was on edge in another way. At the moment she was paying attention to her omni-tool.

_I'm in orbit – moving to board a batarian vessel to shut it down from the inside._

Shepard smiled a bit. _Sounds like fun_, she typed back. _What's step two?_

_Now now, that would be spoiling things_, Miranda responded. On her own shuttle, she glanced out the window to judge the time their approach would take before looking back to her omni-tool. _Are you almost groundside?_

_Couple minutes away._

_Excellent. Try not to kill __**everyone**__ when you start tearing up batarians, okay? Because that would just put a damper on the whole party._

Shepard chuckled to herself. _I've been working on my aim, don't worry. Good luck with your thing – be careful, the Alliance doesn't know you're here; they'll fire on that ship with you aboard._

_We'll be gone by the time that happens. You just make sure to leave your locator on so I can track you._

_Understood._ Shepard checked her omni-tool to be sure, and then glanced out the window. The moon, Torfan, wasn't much to look at, and it was going to be even less by the time the Alliance was done with it. She returned to the tool. _Just make __**sure**__ you get off fast enough – the Alliance is bringing a lot of ships in, no batarian vessel is going to last long._

_Don't worry – Cerberus plans things well. Good luck underground – watch for traps and ambushes. Stay up and stay moving._

"Orbital bombardment has already begun," their commanding officer – Major Kyle – stated, drawing Shepard's attention. "In response, the batarians have retreated into their underground bunkers. This means we have to go in after them – expect fierce fighting in enclosed spaces. Shepard!"

"Sir!"

"You'll be leading Beta Team – head for the bunker due east of the landing point, you have the coordinates. Get in and take out all hostiles."

"Yes, sir!"

"Alpha Team is with me, we'll be hitting the bunker due west. We don't have full maps of these bunkers, but we know they're all inter-connected; all teams are to keep locators and stay in radio contact, keep an eye out for friendlies and try to meet up with other teams coming from other entrances. Double time – Alliance brass wants this moon taken before reinforcements can arrive so that we aren't getting hit from two sides. Any questions?" He looked around and no one responded. "Good! Suit up! Weapons hot!"

Weapons were drawn and activated. Shepard checked her pistol before replacing it on her belt – it was just her back-up. She then pulled her helmet on, locking it in place; she hated the thing, but its protection couldn't be denied. A minute later the shuttle hit the ground, and the marines' boots hit it seconds later. Shepard wasted no time heading east, with her team of nine on her heels. The bunker that was their target was embedded in the rock with no visible weaknesses. A turret rose up as they approached and Shepard called for her heavy soldier, throwing up a barrier in front of the team as the turret unleashed a barrage of fire. A rocket shot over her shoulder and demolished the turret and she let the barrier drop before continuing forward.

Once at the entrance she had the team take up positions as their demolitions experts got the door open. Seconds later there was an explosion and Shepard moved in, walking through the smoke without a weapon in hand – she didn't plan on using one.

Mass Effect

As one of Miranda's three fellow operatives hacked the ship's bay doors, she checked her omni-tool one last time. Shepard was moving into a bunker, meaning things were about to get crazy for her. Miranda smiled, knowing the batarians had no clue what was about to hit them – on the ground _or_ in orbit. "Done," her tech specialist said, watching the bay doors open.

Their pilot guided the shuttle inside the ship and Miranda put on her breath mask. As the others followed her example, she readied her pistol. "Remember, we move fast in a direct route to the central systems. If we run into any resistance, I want them down within a second of contact – don't give them _any_ chance to send off a warning. Got it?"

"Ma'am!"

They got off the shuttle and started moving. In the next hall were two batarians, but Miranda's silenced pistol took them out before they were even able to turn. They slid to the ground with blood leaking from their heads and she had her team drag them out before they moved on, weapons ready and following a map right to their destination.

Mass Effect

Resistance was heavy; they hadn't expected anything less, of course, but the battle under Torfan's surface was more brutal than anything most of the soldiers had ever experienced. There was little room; everything was enclosed rooms or hallways. Smoke and fire filled half of them, explosions shredded metal, gunfire sent sparks flying everywhere, lights flickered or went out, and blood and body parts were strewn everywhere.

Shepard didn't even slow down. Every batarian within reach was dead the second she laid eyes on it. Slugs and shrapnel flew past her and flames heated her skin, but she noticed little of it. It was like one of the fantasies she'd had shortly after Mindoir, when she'd lost herself in thoughts of revenge – except it was real. A batarian stepped out with an assault rifle targeting her and she used biotics to wrench it aside before launching herself forward, slamming him into the wall with her shoulder. She lashed out with a fist and crushed his throat, then spun on his friend who was stepping up beside her. She grabbed the new batarian's rifle and squeezed his trigger finger with her other hand as she forced his rifle to the side, making a burst of fire erupt from the barrel and shred the first batarian's chest.

She then twisted the rifle and broke the second batarian's finger, then shot out her hand to catch his head and slam it into the metal wall, painting it with blood and brain matter. Without a pause she dropped the rifle and hit the button to open the next door. The men following her did so cautiously, glancing at the bodies as they passed. The next room was worse – it was bigger and somewhat round, with a lot of places for cover that hid a lot of batarian pirates. It started with a flashbang that blinded Shepard, making her slam her eyes shut and gasp in pain. Her reaction time, fortunately, wasn't slowed, and she threw herself to the side, throwing up a biotic barrier.

Some of her soldiers weren't so lucky – two marines went down under the hail of fire that followed, and the others scrambled for cover. Shepard's team was now down to eight, and the number of batarians in the room was unknown – likely a dozen, she guessed from the sound of the gunfire. "Keep cover and return fire!" she ordered, drawing her pistol and blinking as her vision slowly cleared. She growled and leaned around her cover. _Stay with me, Faith,_ she said in her mind as she summoned Faith's 'trademark specialty' as she called it, a twisting singularity. She wasn't as precise or good with control, but she had more sheer power, and that made up for it. Several batarians were suddenly yanked out of their cover and into the air, writhing around unable to escape the biotic pull.

Shepard's team tore them apart in seconds of continuous fire and she used the opportunity to dash across the room, sliding into new cover that allowed her to flank some of them. She was considering options when a screen on the wall came on and a batarian face appeared. "Stop them there! They can't make it any deeper, we're already being hit on all sides! Hold them until reinforcements arrive – die if you have to!" Shepard didn't hear any of the words – she was frozen… because she recognized that face and voice.

_Kneeling on the roof of one of the ruined homes, giving orders to the other batarians around him… Opening fire on two runners, taking them down… Raising his grenade launcher as he saw the young girl unleash biotics on some of his soldiers…_

Memories rushed to the front of her mind – things she hadn't noticed at the time due to the state of her emotions, but that she'd seen and heard all the same. _Mindoir. Mindoir…_

_Raising his grenade launcher as he saw the young girl… His grenade launcher… The same one that had brought down the house and killed two of the same occupants inside._

She lost it.

Mass Effect

Miranda slid into the hallway and came to her feet as she reached the wall, transitioning directly into a wall run. The batarian was turning at the noise as she left the wall, and he turned just in time for her foot to connect with the side of his head. Her other foot came down on the other side as she was in the air and she went into a biotics-assisted spin, snapping his neck and sending him to the ground. Miranda landed on her feet and one hand as she fired at the second batarian, putting a round through one of his eyes.

Seconds later she was up and at the door as her team came in behind her. The door slid open and three batarians turned in shock. Miranda shot one and used biotics to throw the other two into the wall; her team tagged them a split second later. Inside they had reached the system controls for the ship, and the team set up, getting to work on the computer systems. It didn't take long – soon they had control. Miranda ordered the door to the room shut and then accessed the systems, shutting off the oxygen and overriding emergency protocols to open every door on the ship but the one to their room – a process normally reserved for small sections at a time to put out dangerous fires.

Across the ship batarians struggled as every room suddenly and explosively decompressed; air rushed out and oxygen disappeared, and many were thrown out into open space. It was so sudden and unexpected that none were able to get to any helmets or oxygen masks. The Cerberus team waited a few minutes before shutting all the doors but leaving the oxygen offline, relying solely on their masks. They equalized pressure throughout the ship before opening their door, and then Miranda began leading them to the bridge, this time with no resistance whatsoever. Everything was going perfectly – she only hoped things were going as well for Shepard on the ground.

Mass Effect

The room was filled with chaos incarnate. Alliance marines and batarians alike stared in shock at the biotic hurricane that shredded metal like tissue paper and tossed heavy electronics around like they were children's toys. Shepard erupted from cover and launched herself into the batarians' cover, literally tearing through one of them – he was nearly in two halves when he hit the ground. A biotic force hit the rest like a freight train, pulping the one in front and sending another two into the wall with such force that it was impossible to tell which limb was which. The rest of the batarians immediately began retreating and Shepard removed her helmet, dropping it to the ground and turning amber eyes on her team. "_After them."_

No one questioned the order – they followed her without hesitation as she walked into the next hall. In the next room they met little resistance, as some of the batarians had run through another door and locked it behind them, locking some of their comrades out. The five batarians left behind all dropped their weapons as Shepard's team entered, raising their hands. "We surrender."

"That's nice," she stated in an emotionless voice as she swept a hand across, summoning a force that tore at them in every direction, shredding their skin and pulling it apart. Their screams horrified the soldiers, but Shepard showed no reaction. She merely pointed to the next door as the lifeless bodies hit the ground. "Get that open."

Her tech specialists hurried over and managed to get the door open, but it was trapped – a mine placed behind it detonated as the door slid open, killing the one in front. Shepard glanced at him before stepping around and continuing into the hallway. Her team hesitated, but followed. The next door was already open, meaning the batarians were likely waiting for them. "Get inside, find cover, kill everything that moves," she stated before opening it and rushing inside.

A hail of gunfire erupted from across the room and Shepard leapt high into the air; two marines that had been behind her went down under the gunfire, leaving only five remaining. As she lifted herself into the air with biotics, Shepard spread her hands and used her power to rip pieces of metal from the walls, raining jagged shrapnel down on the waiting batarians. Several of them went down under the attack, and more from her team's fire. One of them managed to get off a shot with a grenade launcher and she folded her arms in front of her, wrapping herself in a barrier as it exploded. She was thrown into the wall and fell down, but landed on her feet, using her anger to amplify her power further.

Shepard pushed her team on even against the resistance, losing another as she fought her way forward. Her biotics flung batarians into walls, crushed their bones and tore them apart, while their gunfire managed to get some hits and kept whittling down her team. She didn't slow down – during a particularly vicious attack, they were ambushed from all sides. The room was circular and had a second level, and all of the batarians had set up on that balcony to fire down from every angle. Shepard watched the last of her team go down – but she couldn't afford to stop. Every Alliance team was doing the same thing – the radio made mention of rising casualty numbers every few minutes. "Beta Team is down to one active member," she said, adding to the count. "Two injured but alive." She watched the two soldiers pull themselves closer into cover – the only survivors, at least for now.

The batarians seemed intent on changing that – Shepard watched a grenade arc through the air, falling towards that cover. _No_. Shepard stood and planted a foot on her cover, surrounding herself in burning energy as she leapt into the air. One hand pulled the grenade out of the air and into her open palm and she twisted through the air as she rose above the level of the balcony. She threw the grenade back at the initial thrower, her eyes dark as she watched the explosion claim him. She wrapped her biotic power around herself and launched herself up and over the balcony, coming down between two batarians. She threw her hands out and blasted them away into the walls.

Shepard then turned on the rest, pouring all of her power into a barrier as they opened fire. Dozens upon dozens of rounds impacted her barrier as she drew her pistol, firing once and hitting a batarian between the eyes, dropping him. As the barrage continued to assault her barrier she moved her aim and fired again, dropping another, then another. After five went down, the remaining two decided to drop behind cover and stay there, seemingly deciding that they weren't going to get through her barrier.

The problem with that was that they _had_ – Shepard could feel at least a dozen places on her body where rounds had pierced both barrier and armor. Every movement shot pain through her body as pieces of jagged metal scraped against nerves, muscle, and bone. Shepard just didn't _care_. She went into a run and jumped up and onto their cover, throwing her boot heel into the face of one and using biotics to yank the other up above her. As the first batarian went down she dropped, landing and crushing his neck beneath her boot as she brought her hands down and slammed the second batarian's back against the railing, snapping his spine and leaving his grotesquely bent body draped over it.

The room was silent as Shepard dropped over the railing back to the first floor. She looked at the two injured marines, verifying that they were still alive. "Stay here – make your way out if you can." Meanwhile, she went on ahead, because she knew that she was the closest out of all the teams to the center of the complex. Each room brought more slaughtered batarians; others tried to surrender, but that only meant it took her less time and effort to kill them. When she finally came to the room that was her target, she ripped the door open with her biotics, not wanting to waste time trying to hack it.

The moment she stepped inside a grenade flew at her. Shepard batted it aside with a biotic wave, leaving it to explode and kill two batarians to her left. The next round she batted the other way, killing the two on her right. She then yanked the grenade launcher from the hands of the batarian in front of her, bringing it to hover in the air beside her as she looked at the last living batarian in the room – the one from the screens. The batarian stumbled backwards and drew his back-up pistol, beginning to fire at her. Shepard didn't bother reacting as every round was easily deflected by her barrier – single-fire weapons were rarely a problem. She just looked at the grenade launcher floating beside her and raised her left hand under it, tapping it once and watching it spin lazily in the air. "I hate slavers," she said calmly as she twisted her hand and watched the launcher shred above it. The fragments of the weapon fell to the ground and she turned her amber gaze back to the cowering batarian, reaching out a hand and easily pulling the pistol from his grasp, dropping it at her feet and stepping on it as she made her way towards him. "You don't remember me, do you?"

The batarian shook his head. "I don't keep human friends!"

Shepard didn't visibly react, though biotic energy did begin to rise around her, flowing off her form. "Mindoir," she stated simply.

The batarian's eyes widened as he recognized the crimson-haired woman before him. "You were the biotic girl…? I thought-"

"I died?" Shepard shrugged. "I feel like I've died a lot of times, and yet…" Her eyes focused on him and sharpened into a piercing gaze. "Here I am. Still walking. And I think you know why I'm here."

The batarian pressed his back against the wall. "L-Look – I've got a lot of money, I can pay you. I've got connections, I can point you to others – or tell you where some of the slaves from your colony are! Killing me won't help you-"

"I don't care," she said, cutting him off as an unnerving smile barely touched her lips, just enough to notice. "You can't get out of this. There's no way out. You can't fight, or pay, or run, or hide, or struggle – you are about to die," she stated with such certainty that arguing seemed even less than useless. She came to stand before him and her hand suddenly shot out, gripping his head like iron and lifting him off the ground. "Now…" she began in a calm voice, her eyes never leaving him as her hand began to squeeze. "…Scream."

He did.

Mass Effect

_Several Hours Later_

Shepard stood on the surface of Torfan, looking up at the night sky and the ships in orbit above the moon. Several floated dead in the void, trailing debris; others were damaged but still moving. No batarian vessels remained active at all, but Shepard was looking for a specific one, which she didn't see. It didn't matter – she knew every batarian ship had been destroyed, but she was still holding out for news.

Nearby, the Alliance survivors were gathered – a much smaller number than anyone had hoped for. Shepard turned and walked over, returning to helping with the recovery of bodies. More Alliance crews would arrive soon to go through the bases searching for any useful tech, info or supplies, but the surviving marines were doing what they could until then. Many of them were talking about Shepard – a fair number of people had been through the path that she'd left in her wake through the base, and the two surviving members of her squad, while injured, were conscious enough to talk about it. Their story initially got a lot of disbelief… until others went into the base to verify and came out shaking their heads and taking wary glances at Shepard that she'd have to be blind not to notice.

She didn't care – they could say whatever they wanted. At least they were normal – a lot of marines just sat there with haunted looks, having no idea how to cope. "Major," Shepard said to one of them, looking disapprovingly at him. "You're supposed to set an example."

Major Kyle looked up at her, his eyes wide and distant. "What kind of example am I supposed to set…? Who's even left to set an example for? Do you see this? Look around you…"

"I've looked," Shepard stated. "Did you not expect to lose anyone?"

"Lose…?" Kyle stood to confront her. "This was a slaughter! It will take _weeks_ to know just how many marines died here!"

"They were _soldiers!"_ Shepard growled. "Soldiers die." The words sounded cold, enough that Kyle just turned away from her in disgust – he didn't see Shepard's fists tighten and tremble as she ground out a second, "Soldiers die," in a much lower voice. She turned and left him, wanting nothing to do with a leader that fell apart… and for more than one reason. She went back to looking up at the sky, standing off on her own – she didn't feel like talking to anyone there.

When her omni-tool made a sound she checked it immediately, letting out a small sigh when she saw the name. She looked around, making sure she was far enough from everyone else to answer it. "Still alive?" the voice said in her ear.

"Yes," she replied, flexing one of her arms and grimacing. "Despite how hard they tried to change that. I'm not sure _how_ many injuries I have. What about you? Apparently you managed to get off the ship in time."

"It was close," Miranda said. In her shuttle she looked out the window, watching Torfan shrinking. "We timed it right, though."

"So what were you doing there?"

"It was an important ship," Miranda explained. "We had to take it by surprise, quietly. Otherwise they would wipe the information."

"What information?"

"We've got almost _everything_, Shepard," Miranda said with a smile. "Batarian placement and defenses across nearly every world they have a presence on, including pirate and slaver bases. We're not ending this fight here, Shepard – The Illusive Man has further, harsher plans for the batarians. The Alliance can't follow them home and risk an all-out war, but _we_ can. He's already planning further terrorist strikes against them. Cerberus is going to terrorize the batarians the same way they do humanity."

Shepard smiled. "Guess they picked the wrong target. It's about time humanity took the fight to these monsters."

"The Alliance keeps asking the Council for help and they keep denying us. It's ridiculous – humanity doesn't _need_ help to defend ourselves."

"I think today proves that," Shepard said in agreement. "One thing I've learned… The best way to get a place in the galaxy is to _fight_ for it. We can't sit back and hope they hand us everything – we need to earn it."

"You'd make a _great_ Cerberus agent, Shepard… Are you sure you won't reconsider?"

"I might at some point," Shepard said as she looked around. "But for now… There's more I can do within the Alliance. I'm nearly at N7, and after that I'll have my pick of missions. Cerberus is great, but it has to do everything behind the scenes – I want to be on the front lines."

"I understand. The invitation is always open, though."

"And I'll always keep it in mind, just in case the Alliance pisses me off _too_ much."

"If the decision is reliant on your temper, are you sure you'll even last more than a week?"

Shepard chuckled. "Give me _some_ credit."

"I am; I think a week is very generous. Faith told me a lot about your temper, you know; she was very fond of it."

Shepard smiled. "Only because it was never directed at her…"

"And she had a thing for bad girls."

"That too."

Miranda grinned. "I'm imagining what she's thinking of you standing there, bloody and burned and sweaty after killing dozens of batarians… Actually that might be her heaven."

Shepard laughed softly. "Think so? Whatever she's doing, I hope she's proud…"

"She is. That's not even a question." Miranda smiled, looking out the window. "Besides, she predicted all of this."

"Yeah, she did…" Shepard sighed, looking up at the stars. "And I'm not done until every hope she had is fulfilled."

* * *

_A/N - Hope everyone had a great Aching Solitude Awareness Day! And for those of you actually in relationships, Happy Valentine whatever mumble mumble. If you're feeling the loneliness, though, just compare yourself to Shepard! Although she might just make you **more** depressed. Huh. Well, hey - this chapter is eight thousand words long even without counting this stuff down here, so that's a pretty good consolation gift, right? Right? Anyone? ...No?_

_Anyway! I'm pretty happy with this chapter - I feel it's got some pretty good action and character development. We're pretty solidly in AU territory here, of course, what with the Miranda thing; Faith could've been passed off as 'Shepard just never mentioned her in the games!'. Still, I'm liking Shepard and Miranda knowing each other so early, and it's going to make some things a lot more interesting later on - as well as creating a new dynamic between Shepard and the Normandy crew. Let me know if any of you guys are liking / disliking it, or if you've got any ideas or requests. I'm pretty good at including requests if they don't suck **- **don't worry, I'm sure yours doesn't suck (**yours** sucks, but you know who you are. Asshole.)_

_Review time!_

**_Panthour:_**_Shepard/Miranda communication will continue... well, until the end of the story, obviously. Your idea was awesome, no way I wouldn't take it. I already answered this third part in a reply, but **for the benefit of other readers: **Shepard won't be a crazy Renegade bitch because that's almost as boring as pure Paragon. She'll slowly regain some humanity and morals as time goes on, although both will probably always be twisted in some way. Still, there will always be people she cares about (we can see in this chapter that Miranda falls into that), and she probably won't be an asshole to them. _

_Seriously, who was able to be an asshole to Tali? Anyone? Hell, I'm an asshole in real life and I **still** wasn't able to. And for the most part, Shepard won't, either - she's cold and damaged, but not a jerk for no reason. It will **always** be a bad idea to piss Shepard off, though - but I think that goes without saying._

**_bluemarlin:_**_Thanks! Looking forward to writing more._

**_cellester:_**_I loooooooooooove Borderlands, and Siren is my class in both games, so maybe there **is** some of that in here. XD Now that I think about it, there will be another similarity between Kira and Lilith later on in the story around the ME2 period, too... But yeah, I love writing fight scenes and I try to get creative with them, so I think they come out pretty interesting most of the time if I can get across what's in my mind. As for getting in trouble... Well, we saw that she didn't get into **any** trouble about that in this chapter, didn't we? Kinda strange, that..._

**_surfergirl3537:_**_I don't think I'll do a flashback about a wedding, for two reasons: one, I'm just not very good at writing weddings. I'm still not even fully happy with the one in my Crimson Regret story; I don't think I could do it justice. Two: well, an actual wedding just doesn't seem like a thing Shepard and Faith would **do**; they seem to me like the type of people that would just go somewhere alone to get it done. However, ifany of you want to see a flashback of **that**, like of them getting it done and the aftermath and all that, I could probably include that (it'd be long, but I don't think anyone minds length here). Lemme know!_

_Yeah, I was pretty happy with that line, not gonna lie. Sure, it's melodramatic, but whatever, I've been getting pretty angsty in this story anyway._

_**Ciborn: **I could really take that wrong if I wanted to XD "That chapter was so badly written it made my eyes burn!" Anyway, thank you so much! The whole "vicarious experience through the characters" thing - that's probably because I always see characters as real people so their emotions feel real to **me**, and if that comes through in my writing, then hell yes I'm doing it right.  
_

**_GLCW2:_**_Thank you! I love writing emotions, so I pour them all in. **All** the emotional weight! And, yes - things will get tougher and darker, because that's how I do (and how Mass Effect does)._

**_emmeelee:_**_Yeah, Paragon Shep can be sort of boring. I mean, it's what I played first through all three games, but that's just because in-game Renegade just makes you an asshole most of the time. I'm glad you like this Shepard - I'm pretty happy with her myself!_

_That looks like it. Thanks for reading, and an extra-special thanks to reviewers! Watch the skies (for birdplanes)!_


	9. Chapter 9: Lost

_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Cerberus wouldn't pull a 180 three separate times throughout the series and would make a bit of sense._

**Chapter 9: Lost**

_March 9, 2178_

Everything was cold and silent. The only sound that reached her ears was that of her labored breathing.

Shepard opened her eyes, recalling the explosion, the shredding metal and the whirlwind of air. She could see the ship not far away, but it may as well have been across the galaxy – she couldn't reach it. She was floating dead in space, with no lifelines. She could feel pain in several areas of her body and realized that she couldn't move – her muscles refused to flex, her joints wouldn't bend. All she could move was her eyes, which scanned the ruined hulk that she had once been aboard – no signs of life.

Though the uninhabited system had a sun, its warmth was little – she could feel the cold creeping up on her. That was the least of her problems, she knew; as she watched the nearby planet slowly spin, struggling to move even a single muscle, a voice continually repeated in her ear. And as she listened to it, she closed her eyes, straddling the line between acceptance and a struggle.

"**Warning… Oxygen Low. Seventeen minutes remaining."**

"**Warning… Oxygen Low. Seventeen minutes remaining."**

"**Warning…"**

Mass Effect

_One Week Earlier_

"So you're better than me, that's what you're saying."

Shepard chuckled, looking out the window. One of the perks of her new designation – better quarters on military transports and vessels. Her view really was quite nice. "I dunno – are you an N7?"

"This whole thing really has gone to your head."

Shepard looked over her shoulder, grinning at the image of Miranda on the screen on her wall. "You're damn right." She turned and walked over, using biotics to summon a piece of her armor into her hands and holding it up, tapping the N7 logo on it. "You see this? I get to put this on _everything_. What's more, I got it in _under a year_. Now tell me I can't brag a little."

Miranda smirked and folded her arms. "You can brag a little, sure, so long as you don't forget _my_ situation."

"Right, top operative and all that." Shepard tossed the piece of armor on her bed. "Okay, so I'm better than _everyone else_."

Miranda gave a firm nod. "Much better."

Shepard smiled a bit. "You remind me of Faith when you do that."

Miranda softened. "Speaking of which, how are you doing…? I've been meaning to ask, since next month is…"

"…A year," Shepard finished for her, looking to the side. "I'm not… falling apart anymore, at least not always. Every so often it hits me again, but most days I'm okay." She sighed. "It's little things usually, you know? Stupid things, like hearing someone order the same type of coffee or seeing a certain movie come on. Anything that reminds me of how a normal day was, which reminds me it'll never be like that again."

Miranda nodded. She leaned forward on her desk, threading her fingers together and resting her chin on them. "That part will probably always be hard, I imagine. What about the dreams?"

"Same frequency." Shepard sat on her bed, looking at the floor. "I'm not sure if I'll be happy or sad if they stop. They're all I have left, but… it makes some mornings _so hard_." She sighed, looking back at the screen. "But I can deal with it. I've been doing so for nearly a year now. Daily things have gotten easier, for the most part. Life in general isn't so bad, and I've got you so it's not as lonely as it could've been."

Miranda smiled. "That one goes both ways. I don't have a lot of friends, Shepard – it's nice to have someone to talk to. Faith was great for that – and I still miss her, too – but I'm glad I have you."

"I could've decided not to respond," Shepard said, rubbing the back of her head. "After it happened I just wanted to shut everything out, but… I couldn't with you because you _knew_ her, so it was like a window to some part of her." She smiled sadly. "Faith continues to help me even after… and even now." Shepard stood, stretching out a bit. "But I can't focus on it right now or I might fall apart again."

"Do you have something to do? I've seen that the Alliance is planning for some raids."

Shepard nodded. "Different systems – we're clearing out pirates. I'll be going on one but I don't know which yet. Everyone's trying to keep it as secret as possible – no leaks."

"I can tell – even we have very little information. Well, I'll be following what I can – have to keep track of the score."

Shepard smirked. "Individual kills or missions?"

"Missions," Miranda said with an amused glance at her. "Only one of us is a crazed genocidal killer."

"Uh, _professional_ crazed genocidal killer, thank you. Did you already forget the N7?"

"Tell you what – I'll make a recording of you saying, 'hey Miranda, I'm an N7', and then keep it playing on a loop forever. Then it'll be just like I'm always in a conversation with you!"

Shepard chuckled. "Yes, do that. Eventually you'll snap and we'll _both_ be crazed genocidal killers."

"And then the galaxy dies."

Shepard looked around before shrugging. "Eh, it's only okay anyway."

Mass Effect

_Present_

It had started simply enough – one of Miranda's preset notices had gone off, alerting her to an Alliance update for a mission she was tracking. She checked it immediately; she was always on top of things. It informed her that several Alliance officers had not arrived at the scheduled staging point where they would begin the planning for the raids on the Hong system. According to the briefing they were taking civilian transports to avoid suspicious Alliance transport movements. Unfortunately, this precaution meant that the Alliance had no idea where they were or what transports they had taken, as they were all off the grid and leaving no traces.

The second thing that got Miranda's attention was the notice that all missing officers were N7, sent solo to determine their own courses of travel. The top-secret nature of the operation had backfired; now the Alliance was on a search for the missing officers. Miranda was getting a bad feeling already – unwilling to assume anything, she worked to uncover further information, finally finding the list of names. She wasn't _surprised_ when she saw it – Miranda had spent a lot of time learning not to be surprised by anything. No, she was… Well, she didn't know what she was.

But she was, for _one_ thing, _not_ willing to believe that Shepard would die very easily – if even at all. So she was now using every resource at her disposal to locate her. Any information she gained, she slipped into the Alliance files in the hopes that it would aid their search. However, the Alliance had more than one person to search for, and most of their resources were directed toward the upcoming raids, and even then that was just a small part of the Alliance military's current operations – meaning that only a fraction of a fraction of a fraction was searching for Shepard.

For Miranda, that wasn't enough. So, she took it upon herself – if the Alliance wouldn't find her, _she _would. No one else was as important anyway – if the Alliance didn't realize that, there was nothing she could do about it.

Mass Effect

_Four Days Earlier_

"Looks like I'm going off the grid," Shepard said as she walked through one of the Citadel's Wards. "That means I have to turn off my locator – no more tracking my movements."

"That really ruins my fun, Shepard."

"You're an addict for spying, Miranda – I'm cutting you off cold turkey."

"But I don't even _like_ cold turkey."

"No one does. I'm not sure why it's an expression."

"I guess I'll just have to get my fix by sitting behind people and reading over their shoulder."

"I _hate_ that – I guess Cerberus really _is_ the evil terrorist organization some say it is."

"Yes, even now we have agents out there causing all sorts of petty annoyance."

"I knew it. The secret plans are no longer so secret. You're a _terrible_ spy."

"I've had enough of your insults, Shepard – you and I are _through_."

"Fine! I never liked you anyway!"

"I have _no_ idea why I tolerated such a bitch for so long!"

"I hope you get sucked into a black hole!"

"I hope you burn to death in a sun!"

"So, I'll talk to you when I get back?"

"Well, obviously. Good luck!"

Shepard chuckled as she cut off the call, spotting the transport she was meant to take. Going off-grid sounded like a fun experience – it wasn't often that she got to do covert missions, and as she stepped onto the small ship, it seemed like anything could happen.

Mass Effect

_Present Day_

"**Warning… Oxygen Low. Nine Minutes Remaining."**

_A fun experience,_ Shepard thought, remembering her feelings as she opened her eyes. _I'm a goddamned idiot._

Nothing was getting done, and _that_ wasn't going to work. But as Shepard tried to move her arm she spasmed in pain, letting out a sharp gasp. _Body doesn't work either… That's… a problem…_

"**Warning… Oxygen Low. Eight Minutes Remaining."**

_So is that… _ She turned her gaze to the lifeless ship floating nearby. It was a small, personal vessel – it had a crew of eight and three passengers aside from herself, all of whom she was pretty sure were dead. There were no signs of life, but that didn't mean it was useless to her… if she could reach it somehow. _I'm going to die here,_ she thought. _Floating helplessly… Suffocating… Without even a fight._

…_Fuck you._

She didn't know if that was directed at whoever had shot her, herself, or her own body – or maybe all of them. Still, she thought it anyway. _Fuck you. No, no, it's not happening this way. I did __**not**__ survive all the shit I've been through to die like a damn bitch._

Behind her visor, a light shone – two lights, to be exact, small pinpricks of blue. Biotic energy surged through her and warped itself into a mass effect field around her body, allowing her to turn herself. Inside her helmet, Shepard grinned – it was a dark expression like one right before a kill; it was the look she had when she overcame the odds, and she fucking _knew_ it. _Odds are averages meant for average people_, Shepard thought as she concentrated her biotic power. _I am not fucking average. _She thought back, back to a much better time, and heard Faith's lessons and explanations about control. She had always been better at precise control than Kira was – and Shepard needed that now.

After three minutes – and she knew that because the damn voice in her helmet wouldn't shut up and told her she only had five minutes of air left to breathe – she had enough control to maneuver her way to the wrecked ship, going from one piece of debris to the next. She floated in through one of the massive holes, entering the silent hulk. _I'm pretty sure more than one horror movie starts this way_, she thought to herself – but not in her own voice. It was the kind of remark Faith would have made, and Shepard smiled a bit as she heard it in her wife's voice.

_If you see any bodies… double-tap. That's where the aliens wait._

"I'm pretty sure the only aliens here are the crew themselves," Shepard responded, using biotics to manipulate her limbs. "You know… turians? Quarian?" She was getting the hang of it, even able to manipulate her digits now; mass effect fields were no less effective even in a vacuum, so it was actually easier anyway. She set a hand on the wall, slowly making her way through the ship.

_Well maybe turians and quarians are actually horrifying monsters just waiting to spring their trap. Did you ever think of __**that**__?_

Shepard smirked. "No, because I'm not insane."

_Oh yeah? Well, actually, you __**did**__ think of that, because I'm just a figment of your imagination or something, a voice in your head representing me – I mean, Faith – which, of course, means that you are quite __**clearly**__ insane, as well as clearly quite insane. Sorry to tell you this, Kiri, but you left sanity behind a looooong way back._

"Yeah, on Mindoir," Shepard answered, coming across a floating corpse and biotically moving it aside. "You're supposed to be helping me deal with this, you know."

_You don't know that. What are the rules on schizophrenic head-entities?_

"You're in my head," Shepard grunted as she wrenched a sealed door aside, "so I get to make the rules." The voice in her helmet told her that she only had three minutes of air left – she ignored it.

_Kiri… By now you should know that you can never make a rule that I'm not an exception to._

Shepard paused at that. "…Yeah," she said softly, pulling herself into the next section of the ship. "Except the rule that everyone I care about dies…"

_You didn't make that a rule, and it's not your fault. And it's not a rule! And Miranda's alive, isn't she?_

"…For now."

_Ugh. I used to be so good at cheering you up…_

"Yeah, but… Now I just wish you were still here."

"**Warning… Oxygen Low. Two Minutes Remaining."**

Shepard sighed, coming to a stop and watching the ship slowly spin around her. It was an eerie feeling; everything was completely silent aside from her own breathing. Objects – and sometimes bodies – hovered around her as if time had frozen still. Everything was dark, lit only by a small light on her armor. The biggest problem, though, was that the light didn't fall on anything that could help her – there was nothing to find. "Faith?" she said in a soft voice.

_Yes?_

"I think I'm about to die."

Mass Effect

Miranda was ready to pull her hair out. She nearly broke her computer and only managed to divert her anger and frustration at the last minute, putting a large dent in her wall with a biotically-charged punch. "With all of Cerberus' resources, finding one person should _not_ be this difficult!" She sighed and started pacing. "Where are you, Shepard…?" She stopped and closed her eyes, putting a hand on her forehead. "Think, Miranda, think – how could you find Shepard? Not how would you find _someone_ – how would you find _Shepard_?"

It took her exactly twenty-four seconds before her eyes snapped open.

_Kiri got me the most adorable gift yesterday!_

Miranda grabbed her omni-tool and pistol and swept out of her room. "I need a shuttle – _now_!"

Mass Effect

_You can't die!_

"Why?" Shepard folded her arms and crossed her ankles, closing her eyes as she floated in the center of the ship. "You did."

_That's why! Since when do you give up?_

"Since you died."

_What, so you stop listening to me when I can't yell at you anymore?_

"It's not like that…"

_Yes it is._

"**Warning… Oxygen Critical. One Minute Remaining."**

_Nothing I said changes just because I can't say it to your face anymore. If you want to remember me, you have to remember __**all**__ of me – and that means you better damn well listen!_

"Faith…"

_Surviving is what you __**do**__. You're always the survivor because you're the only one that's strong enough to take it! You're the one strong enough to fight and change things! Wasn't that our plan? To change the galaxy?_

"**Warning… Oxygen Critical. Thirty Seconds Remaining."**

"It's not that simple…"

_It __**is**__ that simple. I don't want you to die, Kira – you __**know**__ that. You just have to accept it. You're not broken, Kira. You thought you were done after Mindoir, and you thought you were done after Akuze, but you weren't, were you? You kept going. Are you really going to give up now?_

"**Warning… Oxygen Critical. Fifteen Seconds Remaining."**

Shepard looked pained as she shook her head, her body trembling inside her armor despite the pain it caused. "What is there left to fight for…?"

_Everything there was before! For your parents, your team, for us – for __**me**__! You've been through so much, you can't let that go to waste! Now stop arguing, damn it, and FIGHT!_

"**Warning… Oxygen Depleted."**

And Shepard took a deep breath.

Mass Effect

It had taken far too long – Miranda's mind yelled at her for not thinking of it sooner, but there was nothing she could do about that now. She headed for the front door of Shepard's apartment at a rapid pace, hacking the lock in record time and bursting inside. She left the two agents she'd brought – one of whom was her pilot – to watch the door as she went through the apartment searching for the bedroom.

_I guess I'm just as sentimental as everyone else, when it comes down to it..._

Miranda cursed every time she flung open a door that didn't lead to a bedroom, increasing her pace each time.

_I mean, I know it's pointless… But I just can't bring myself to get rid of it or put it in storage somewhere. I just keep it here, on my nightstand, even when I'm not home. I guess it sort of feels like I've got a part of her waiting for me here._

"Come on, come on, come on…" Miranda finally found the bedroom and headed straight for the nightstand. "Yes!" She picked up the ring and held it up to inspect it before dashing back outside.

_Does that… make any sense to you, Miranda?_

_It makes all the sense in the world, Shepard._

Mass Effect

The metal rent, twisted and tore, eerily silent. Shepard wrenched it aside and launched herself through, her eyes darting around in every direction. Her lungs burned and she wanted nothing more than to open her mouth and take a breath, but she knew she couldn't.

She'd felt it before, once. As a child she'd been adventurous as well as a loner, which could be a bad combination. On that particular day her explorations had uncovered a river, and being as young as she was, she hadn't been as careful as she should have been. She could almost feel it now – the cold water filling every sense, the struggle for just _one breath_ of air, the useless flailing of limbs, the sensation of spinning as the current tossed her around… It was an experience she'd never forgotten and hadn't planned on reliving.

But now, in the moment, as her body screamed for _something, anything_, she didn't panic. She pulled herself from room to room, looking in every direction before moving on, doing what she had to, and what she'd always done – keep moving. When she finally reached the point where she couldn't take it any longer… she kept going. And in that instant, she felt it – a small sensation on one finger that pushed all the others out of her mind: heat, along with a small vibration.

Mass Effect

Miranda watched the screens, keeping one finger on the ring and continuing to move it along the activation strip. After a few seconds, the operative near her typed in a sequence. "Operative Lawson, we've got it – we found its partner."

Tracking a signal was nothing difficult for Cerberus, but Miranda still smiled at the success. "Give the pilot the coordinates. Tell him to get us there _now_."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Miranda didn't hear the response – she was too busy looking at the ring, and grinning as she felt it warm up against her finger. "Look who's alive…"

Mass Effect

Shepard twisted around in the zero-gravity, catching herself on the opposite wall with one hand. Her free hand caught the emergency oxygen tank in a tight grip and pulled it from the wall, and she rapidly attached it to her armor.

"**Oxygen Normalizing. One Hour Remaining."**

As the oxygen flowed in she let out ragged gasps, choking and wincing at the pain that shot through her body with every twitch. Her lungs felt like they were on fire and her throat burned, but she gulped down air greedily anyway. Finally her head began to clear and she allowed herself to relax, closing her eyes as she thought about how close it'd been. She knew she had one person to think, but as she opened her eyes and looked at her hand, thinking of what lay beneath the glove around one of her fingers, she suddenly smiled.

"Clever, Miranda…"

She headed back towards the entrance, deciding to wait in the open. It was about half an hour before she saw the lights of an approaching ship and smiled; still barely able to move, she exited the wreck and signaled it.

Mass Effect

As the Cerberus shuttle approached the wreck, Miranda stood at the window, her eyes darting all over the area. The smile slowly slipped from her face as she saw the destruction and the bodies… and the lack of any movement. "Status report."

"There's nothing here, ma'am," the pilot said as he checked his scans. "No life signs."

Miranda set a hand on the wall, her expression falling. _Too late…? Was I too slow?_

"There's only some dead bodies – none of them human."

Miranda jerked her head up, looking over her shoulder. "No humans? Then where…"

Mass Effect

Shepard gave a cry of pain as she was thrown to the ground, realizing just how injured she was as the pain overtook her senses for several moments. The world came back and she gasped, coughing. Her armor had been stripped, leaving her in a simple sleeveless shirt and shorts. She was bloody, but more importantly, she was helpless – she'd exhausted herself simply keeping herself alive.

Three batarians stood over her and one knelt to speak with her, enjoying the situation far too much. "Welcome aboard, Shepard," the batarian said to her with a chuckle. "Know where we're going?"

Shepard grunted, looking up at him from where she lay on her back. "Ask me if I give a damn." The batarian chuckled again and stood, giving her a brutal kick to the side. She hissed in pain, arching her back. _Fuck… Definitely some broken ribs._ When her breath came back to her she opened her eyes to look at him again. "You guys are even uglier when I'm _not_ tearing your heads in half."

"We'll see how long that attitude lasts. You're about to start your new life in a batarian prison."

Shepard chuckled. "Scary…"

The batarian gripped her by the hair and lifted her up, eliciting a cry of pain even before he slammed her into the wall. The others stepped forward, each taking turns to get a hit in. After a few minutes they stepped back, laughing as Shepard slid down the wall, sitting against it and panting softly. "We paid the Shadow Broker a lot of money for your location," the first one started again. "It's a good thing for us that he likes business – imagine our shock when he told us you were still alive!" The batarian spread his arms as his friends laughed. "Well, we just had to come back and pick you up!"

"Fuck you."

"Your bark doesn't mean so much without a bite."

Shepard kept an arm to her stomach, glaring up at him. "It's true… I'm not able to do much. But… I've got enough left in me to kill _you_." The batarian's hands suddenly flew to his throat and his eyes widened as he was thrown back against the far wall. The other two immediately began beating her viciously, but Shepard's eyes never left those of the one choking against the far wall. She watched him struggle until the life left him, then let him drop just as she took a rifle but to the head. The two remaining went to check on him and behind them, Shepard began laughing, spitting blood on the floor and sitting up again. "Go ahead… Try to intimidate me again. See if there's a _damn_ thing you can threaten me with that's worse than what I've already been through."

They turned to her, but neither made a move towards her as they saw her smile. She didn't have anything left in her – and they _knew_ she couldn't do anything else – but neither of them had the will to step towards her as she laughed. Several seconds later, the lights went out. Shepard's laughter grew louder as a warning went out across the ship that systems were dropping offline.

"You're in troooooubleeeee…"

Mass Effect

A batarian soldier slowly crept down a hallway, holding his rifle at the ready. The entire ship was dark, with only dim emergency lighting allowing them to see at all. Other systems had gone offline, including the ship's engines – they were dead in space for the moment. He was one of the ones sent to check on the engines – and like the others, he didn't make it.

Miranda slid around the corner just as he reached it, lashing out a foot to take out his legs. As he went down she wrapped an arm around his neck and twisted until she heard a snap, then dropped his body and took off again. Her other two operatives were in different sections of the ship taking out systems, but Miranda had a different target. As she sprinted down the hall another batarian stepped into view, spotting her and calling two others. She didn't slow as she fired off three rounds, hitting the first in the head and the second once in the shoulder. Simply increasing her speed, Miranda leapt and planted her feet on the third batarian's chest, bringing him down under her. As she pinned him to the ground she threw her hand out to the side and biotically shoved the injured one into the opposite wall at the same time as she put two rounds in the pinned batarian's head.

She vaulted off the body and landed in a continued run, taking out another pair by slamming them together and finishing them off with her pistol once they were down. Batarian soldiers were violent and experienced, but they didn't compare to a top Cerberus operative – especially not an angry one.

Miranda broke into the room without even pausing to plan, which was unusual for her – not that she noticed. Two batarians were inside, and a third was dead against one wall. Past the two standing, Miranda saw familiar crimson hair. One of the batarians aimed his rifle at her, while the other turned to execute their prisoner. The first one hit the ceiling so hard he went _through_ it, and Miranda's foot took out the second's knee as her biotics yanked his rifle up, causing his shots to harmlessly hit the wall. As the batarian's knees hit the floor his rifle spun up and over his shoulder and into Miranda's hands. She put three rounds through his skull, then dropped the rifle on his lifeless body. "Shepard!"

The Alliance soldier looked up blearily, blinking to clear her blurry vision. "Miranda…? Ha… Knew it was you…"

Miranda knelt in front of her, looking her over. "You're in bad shape…"

"Yeah..." Shepard coughed, looking up at her with a tired grin. "I was hoping I'd look better the first time we met in person…"

"Believe me, I wish it was different circumstances," Miranda said with a small smile as she started to help her up.

Shepard gasped in pain and Miranda stopped, but she shook her head. "Gotta get… out of here, even if it hurts. Besides, it's not as bad as…"

As she trailed off, Miranda watched her, and then started to smile. "…You can't think of anything, can you?"

"I really can't!" Shepard said with a chuckle. "I guess this is the worst physical damage I've taken."

"At least you hit a milestone."

Once Miranda's operatives arrived, she had one of them grab Shepard's gear and the other help her support the soldier as they made their way to the shuttle. As it took off, Shepard groaned as Miranda laid her down on the shuttle's sole cot. "I'm surprised that… Cerberus spent resources just to get me."

Miranda sat down. "Well… Technically I didn't _ask_, but I'm sure it's fine."

Shepard chuckled. "You didn't waste any time, did you? But since I'd be dead if you did…"

"I was a bit worried I'd be too late. And the Alliance wasn't doing _nearly_ enough. They had no idea what to do."

"You figured out… You got… Faith's ring?"

"Oh, yes!" Miranda stood and removed the ring from the computers, retaking her seat and putting it in Shepard's hand. "It's the only thing that worked. I guess it's good that you're sentimental."

Shepard closed her hand around the ring, shutting her eyes. She was silent for a few moments. "Thank you, Miranda… I haven't known many people who would go to this much effort."

"I told you, Shepard, I don't have many friends – the ones I do have, I like to protect."

"Then I'm glad I'm one of those. I'm going to blame Faith for that, too…"

Miranda chuckled. "Partially. You have a lot to offer yourself, though, Shepard."

Shepard sighed. "Sometimes it doesn't feel like it. A lot of me died on Akuze – and more than once I've wished all of me had."

"You're getting better," Miranda offered. "Sometimes you even joke around."

"I'm trying. Faith wouldn't want me to give up. But it still takes effort – and I'm only like that with you. You kind of get a skewed view."

"I'll just accept that, then." Miranda sat back down, looking down at her. "Besides, it goes both ways – it isn't like I'll run around the galaxy for _anyone_."

Shepard smiled. "I'll take that… I'll take everything I can get."

_Of course you will, Kiri – you'll take every little thing you can that gives you even the smallest modicum of comfort._

_Even if it's just a voice in your head._

Mass Effect

_A/N: Okay, so before you kill me for taking so long between uploads, at least let me explain! Actually, it's pretty simple - I've been so insanely busy editing and perfecting my two books that I just haven't had the time or the brain power to write for this story; I'm sending them to agents right now, hoping to get them published sometime soon. It's incredibly draining, and on top of that, this story is about to enter into the games' timeline, which means I'll have to start a new playthrough so that I know what stuff I want to include, and I've been putting that off because it's a major timesink and I just don't have time to sink right now. Hence this chapter, which was a random idea I had that I really wanted included at some point, and I figured why not do it now?_

_Thank you all for your patience - I promise this story isn't going anywhere, but it __is__ going to be slow to upload for now while I search for free time to write it during, because while I __love__ it, it ain't making me any money and I kind of need to prioritize my -other- writing over it, because people tell me that paper stuff is necessary for buying food and rent and all of those annoying things. If, during the downtime, you're starved for something to read, please check out said original stories found at the link in my profile - I promise you'll like them!_

_Okay, now reviews._

_**DarthCruciare:**_ _Thanks! Yeah, if you read my original stories, you know I don't shy away from violence. You especially can't hold back when you're writing a character that doesn't hold back. "Dedicated" is an… interesting word choice for her XD I guess what she's doing __**is**__ treason, but she really doesn't even consider that, and wouldn't care if she did. In Kira's opinion, the Alliance is simply the best way to do what she needs to – remember, she __**also**__ has some amount of __**hatred**__ for the Alliance due to their failures in the past. Her goal is to do things the way she believes they __**need**__ to be done, and if that includes working with Cerberus, she'll do it. As for characters being afraid of Kira… yeah, that'll come in later. XD_

_**Cellester:**__ Kira __**will **__have help from Miranda and Cerberus while hunting Saren. In reality it makes no sense that they wouldn't be helping; actually, __**nothing**__ Cerberus does in ME1 makes any sense. But that's because they didn't have Cerberus planned out at the time of writing. So yeah, my version should make a lot more sense._

_**Gemini1179:**__ Whoo, boy, you have a __**really**__ good intuition. As of right now, though, I'll say that I have no plans for Shepard to be __**with**__ Faith while dead, as ME really doesn't go into any sort of afterlife, but I might consider that. As for resenting being brought back, well, that will probably happen regardless. Glad you're liking it!_

_**Panthour:**__ Yeah, that's gonna be interesting, ain't it? She __**will**__ find out, but there's some dialogue during that scene in the game that most people seem to forget about that will be adding something extra…_

_**Emmeelee:**__ Killing Faith was even harder for me to write. Thing is, I __**knew**__ going into this story that she would be dying on Akuze, but I get so attached to my characters I had to ask myself, "Dude, you __**know**__ you're going to love her. Are you sure you want to create this character knowing how hard killing her will be?" But, I had to; in the games, Renegade Shepard makes no sense, so Kira needed more depth, something more to push her to be like that. Still, I'm including Faith in this story even __**now**__ through flashbacks and the like, so that shows you how good I am at letting go, huh? XD_

_**MissAzuka:**__ Ahh, now you're kind of getting into my story notes. XD First off, you make a good point about Faith, and maybe I __**should**__ have done what you said. However, the reason I had it happen when it did is so that Shepard becomes closed-off; it wouldn't work if she was surrounded by a ship full of people. Another reason is that I wanted her to have an exclusive connection with Miranda from early on – Faith provides that connection, __**especially**__ once we get to later in the story when no one else will have known Faith or will know why Kira is the way she is except for Miranda. As for your question – Akuze will continue to be a big thing; Cerberus will be __**partially**__ responsible, but I'm taking some lines from the scene where you learn about that and expanding it to make it more… complicated. You'll see._

_**Ciborn:**__ Yeah, "weighty emotions balanced with badassery" will pretty much sum up this entire story. All of my stories, actually. Basically my writing in general._

_**Bluemarlin:**__ Thanks! You get a bit more Miranda combat here, and lots more later._

_**PiratePete:**__ Thanks! Also, who knew pirates spoke like Mario?_

_**Guest (that I think is PiratePete as well due to timing):**__ I know, man – allergies hit me pretty bad while writing, too._

_**Guest 2 (that I still think is PiratePete but might be wrong, I don't know how guests work):**__ I apologize for taking so long to get more out, then! And if you could sell your soul to get me more time in the day to write, that'd be __**great**__. I'd do it myself, but I already sold mine years ago._

_**Surfergirl3537:**__ I'll probably include that wedding scene sometime soon. I thought about including it in this chapter, but I couldn't find a good place for it and didn't want to just shove it in. "Poor Kira" is something I think will be said more often than not in this story, __**but**__ that friendship between Miri and Shep will continue – and in fact is the focus of __**this**__ chapter, which I hope you liked._

_**Kate:**__ Thank you! I hope you continue liking this story, and I will gladly take that luck; I can use all the luck I can get while trying to get published._

_** winter. towers:**__ I __**love**__ "The Scientist"! It actually played while I was __**writing**__ the chapter, as I had my "Sad Scene" iTunes playlist going at the time. I'm glad you liked the chapter!_

_**Guest the third:**__ Damn, that's a major compliment. Of course, as we get more and more AU (just wait until ME3, Jesus are things going to get different) then it will obviously be less and less canon, but most of chapters 1-8 is actually what I came up with for my own Shep's backstory while playing her for the first time. That's one of my favorite things about the Mass Effect backstory choices, they're specific enough to give you great ideas, but vague enough that you can imagine what you want for them._

_Alright, that's the end of reviews for now! Once again I'm sorry this took so long, and I'm sorry this chapter is so short. Hopefully I'll find some time to write more on this soon and give you guys something better. For now, I hope you liked the stuff here, and thanks for reading!_


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